Sharing Kirby

Answer: Clearly the answer of the best rom-com is the movie Run Away Bride, starring Julia Roberts. Response context: Because when I was 11 years old, one of my best friends, we'll call him Ryan Hyken, he decided to tell this group of girls that I was in the movie. That I was a little kid that jumped on the dress, and they actually believed it. And then they went home that night and rented the DVD from Blockbuster, shut up Blockbuster, and watched the whole entire movie to find out I'm not actually in the movie. So that's why I chose this one.

Title: The Long and Whining Road Activity description: So what I'm going to do is I'm going to describe for you some wonderful, fancy vintages of wines. Activity request: And you guys are going to take it in and then tell me what you think you can relate that to your life. Adjudication method: So now, Curt, you have to judge which one you like the pairing better with. Scoring mechanism: Point to Ryan. Rules: I think you can use all of your experiences. You draw on whatever's funniest, buddy. There is no appeals process, no. Interaction mode: verbal association and subjective comparison Competition adjudication competition established: True Scores: Unresolved: ['No cumulative tally is supplied; the closing speaker explicitly has not kept track.', [[1431]]]

Prompt item: Demand de la Romani, Conte Romani, Conte Grand Cru. Raw prompt: This is a 2015 vintage from Burgundy, France. A symphony of celestial perfection, this legendary pinot noir unveils layer upon layer of ethereal complexity. Notes of wild strawberries, violets, and forest floor mingle in an almost intangible whisper of spice. The mouthfeel is sheer silk, gliding effortlessly across the palate, leaving a hauntingly long finish of truffle, damp earth, and the dreams of old monks. Activity request: relate it to something in your life?

Welcome to Reverse Psychology, the Frasier Rewatch podcast where we go backwards through every episode of the show. Tonight, we are covering Season 9, Episode 9, Sharing Kirby, which originally aired on November 20th, 2001. Is Kirby introduced, or will he be a going concern? We'll find out. I'm your host, Curtis Sheck. Joining me as always, it's a resident upside downer. It's Ryan, San, Soan. It's Kirby time. Oh, how exciting. I don't know why I never put it together that he has the same name as that, uh, not a Pokemon character, Nintendo character. You know what? To your credit, as someone who doesn't video game, Kirby looks exactly like a number of Pokemon. Jigglypuff. Well, also with us is our intern, but not our first choice. It's Bradley Kirkston. Thank you. Thank you. Question. Can I pull off the same hair that Kirby has? You think I can pull off those locks? Oh, that's a good question. You're Jewish, so it seems like the answer should be yes, but I think the answer's no. I don't know if everyone knows that. Oh, spoiler alert. Yes, it's the pod's best kept secret. We spent half a season just describing each episode as the year of your bar mitzvah. Guys, in this episode, Marty's shtick is to be a prick or maybe a dick about watching a chick flick, but we aren't so thick that we can't see he gets a kick and thinks they're sick, not wanting to miss even one trick. But what about y'all? Do you have a favorite rom-com? I trust you're not so dumb that you have a qualm watching with your mom when she needs something calm to act as a heart bomb. What is happening? This is the closest we're ever going to get to Chris being a rapper. Very Dr. Seuss-y, wasn't it? I just, I felt like we were about to get a beat in a second, and Curtis was about to lay down some tricks. Should we try that again with Brad giving you a beat? I was late to this record because I was googling rhymes for rom-com. You were googling rhymes. I don't know why I thought this was necessary, but it felt like it was necessary. What even inspired him? Why did you go down this route? First, I called them check flex, and then I called them rom-coms, and I just thought they're both, both versions of what you could call these things are very rhymey. Curtis, the fact that you did it without dropping, without missing a beat your first time through is the most remarkable thing you've ever done. Without missing a beat and without dropping a beat, as we've established. It's all right, we'll drop a beating post. I'm the devil, and I'm here to say I'm the most evil rapper in the USA. All my homies and my bitches say did you google a rhyme for film? I feel like that's on the table. Oh, jeez. Give me homework now. No, I just assumed you already did it. I assumed you started there. What was your first film? I didn't have the Wilm to do it, Ryan. Classic Wilm film. All right, I'm leaving. I've embarrassed myself. All right, what's your question? What are we doing? Do you have a favorite chick flick or rom-com? Is there a movie that you turn to that maybe is not the most masculine thing, but you really like? I still hate all chick flicks because of our watch of The Notebook. Yeah, you were going to tell that story? I was hoping someone was going to bring it up. There's not a lot to tell. I don't know. What's your take? We were tricked into watching it. They told us there was a dog in it, so we was willing to watch it. And then we watched the whole entire thing and never found the dog. Wait a minute. We watched the whole entire thing because there wasn't a dog in it. We kept waiting for the dog. I thought we didn't watch the whole thing. There was a fast forward. Oh, no. We watched the whole thing. I don't think so. I think the fast forward was you zoning out in your head, Ryan. Yeah, we watched the whole... I think it's like a three-hour movie. It's very long. I can't tell you more than 10 minutes of that movie. I know Gosling gets onto the Ferris wheel illegally and then old people die. You just told more details than I could tell. I was going to say the Ferris wheel. There's a Ferris wheel element I remember. I just remember them in fields. They seem to always be in fields in that movie. I don't remember a single field. There were a number of movies I thought of that I was like, oh, that's kind of a romantic comedy. It's a romantic story, but it's not really a chick flick. One that came up, I was kind of Googling too to see what was out there. Groundhog's Day is sort of a romantic comedy. I'm excited to hear what Curtis's idea of romance is, and then you start out with Groundhog's Day. I'm not picking that. I'm just saying that is often referred to as a rom-com, and it technically is, but it is clearly not a chick flick. Never once heard anyone call it a rom-com. Ever. Okay, well, what do you think Annie McDowell's doing in that movie? Who is that? Is this for real while you're just trying to look like a fool? That's the woman in the movie. She is being talked to a lot. A lot of that movie is Bill Murray just catching her up. So, Curtis, what is your actual answer? The one that I know for sure I've seen and really enjoyed is When Harry Met Sally. That's fair. Okay. What about Black Swan? Was that a rom-com? I don't think that one qualifies. Ryan, do you actually have an answer, or is your answer the notebook? No, no. I think Love Actually is probably the only one I've ever particularly enjoyed. Mother of the Pod hates that movie. Why? Does she hate Rick Grimes? I don't remember her exact reason, but I think she just thinks it's not a very good movie. It's not, and it spawned a million of those garbage movies where it's like, let's get everyone famous from the year and put them in a- Ensemble cast. End of a year movie or whatever, yeah. Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve, now I'm just in the movies. Yeah, Easter. And they're all the exact same. They're all terrible. All the exact same. All straight out of the love actually play a book. Clearly the answer of the best rom-com is the movie Run Away Bride, starring Julia Roberts. Because when I was 11 years old, one of my best friends, we'll call him Ryan Hyken, he decided to tell this group of girls that I was in the movie. That I was a little kid that jumped on the dress, and they actually believed it. And then they went home that night and rented the DVD from Blockbuster, shut up Blockbuster, and watched the whole entire movie to find out I'm not actually in the movie. So that's why I chose this one. Have you noticed almost every one of Brad's stories is him and his friends tell a lie to a group of girls? And that's most of the story. And shockingly, I'm 36 and still single, so it really worked out in my favor. Have you tried lying to a group of women lately? Every day. I'm just kidding. All right, well, I think we did it. Shall we pivot into the minute-by-minute? Woo, keep rhyming. Keep rhyming. Thought of that one while we were talking. You gotta keep rhyming. That would be fun. We open with the sun rising over Seattle. KACL needs a new intern. When Kirby shows up to land the gig, Kenny is intrigued. But Frazier and Ross quickly shoo him away. All right, so we start off with annoying prick at the radio station. Why would a triple major of Harvard grad want to intern for a radio station of any kind? I think that is a very, very valid question. And... Are you going to answer the question? And there is no answer. How I was going to answer that question is I do think at one point radio internships were like a prestigious thing. I do. I actually do think so. In like the 90s, 2000s, like if you wanted to get into the world of communications or writing or any of that kind of stuff, like a lot of those people did intern at like radio stations. So I don't think it's so unheard. Are you making this up or is this actual knowledge you have? You're making this off your feelings? No, no, no, no. Like I hear a lot of stories of like ESPN writers and stuff like that who tell stories of them interning at radio shows. Most of them are sports radio shows. But still, I don't think it's that crazy in the 90s and 2000s to be interning at a radio station. Of all the things you've ever told us that's like a fact about the world, this is the most plausible because I truly believe you listen to a bunch of sports journalists talking in interviews about their careers. Thousand percent because that's how cool I am. Extremely boring. Let's pretend like what Brad's saying has any merit. It's still, it doesn't apply at all to the situation. Those are sports radio. Those are guys getting into sports radio to try to become sports broadcasters. There's no equivalent for this in the psychology field. Doesn't make any sense to this. Maybe this young kid is trying to become a radio psychiatrist like Dr. Fraser. I doubt it. But even if he is, I mean, I don't know. Is interning at the radio station going to help you there? Is he supposed to be Fraser's intern or like just the radio station? I took it as the show's intern. Oh, okay. Because he is like interviewing with Fraser, but. Yeah, I thought, I thought for the show, not necessarily Fraser, but for the show. I mean, what, what do you think the difference there is? I mean, not for Fraser for the show. He is the show. Well, not, not, then you're right. Then for Fraser. Oh, you're saying the show, like the radio station, the show. Well, whatever. We just talked about this kid who did not get the internship. So sorry, buddy. He can always go back to the lucrative career of playing the Samuson. Did you look up what a Samuson is? Samuson? Oh, I looked, I looked it up in this scene. I did too. Yeah. As he was saying it, I was like, I have to see what that is. Fraser describes it very well. It's a Japanese guitar-like instrument whose strings are plucked with a spatula. He does, and we don't usually look up anything that's referenced on this show for some reason, but this one, both of us were intrigued by. Just stuck out as weird. I'm glad I looked it up. It's a very goofy looking guitar. Like, and I wouldn't have understood what it was at the end because I would have forgotten about it had I not looked it up. We meet Kirby again. Yeah. We sure do. Tell you what, as soon as I saw him, I was like, ah, knew it, bummed out. Hold on, hold on. What? What do you mean knew it, bummed out? You must have known from the title that he was going to be here. No, Ryan didn't even think about that. No, I put it in the guest for last week. I said there's a good chance we see him, and so then we see him, and I was like, ah, damn it. What if this episode was just about Fraser getting a Game Boy and being obsessed with Kirby? That would have been so much better. He has to share the Game Boy with Niles. That's the sharing Kirby. That's funny. I actually think that Kirby was much better in this episode as a whole, but this scene, like, right away, I was like, ah, you know what? We're using him much better right now. Well, you probably related to him being a doofus yourself. I didn't like him last time. We also, we learned something about Kirby in this scene, Ryan. Were you surprised? We learned. Do we learn anything here? Yes, we do. That his roommates are scoogey and fat-timey. No, before that, before that, we learned that he took Roz to prom with him. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I forgot. Yes, that is crazy. It doesn't make any sense. Do you think that means we're going to see him again, I would assume? It would be very weird if this was the only reference to it. That sounded like a familiar reference. This would be such a strange reference to drop if none of that ever happened in the show. Is this where you that we might see even more of Kirby than just one episode? Yes, we're definitely going to see it again. So, Kenny gives the Hershey's kiss off. That's fun. Such a stupid name for what this is. I thought that was clever. Why? In the context of the episode, that's Frasier, like, thinking on his feet. I thought that was pretty good. This is one of the worst instances of him thinking on his feet. We've seen many times where he does a great job with that, like, pretends to be a whole character, doing a whole bit, being, you know, charming, funny, whatever. This was one of his worst off-the-cuff jokes ever. We've also seen him fall apart. You have to think about who he's talking to. For him to say that to Kirby, it totally makes sense. Like, it's just, that's how you respond to Kirby. A Hershey kiss off doesn't sound like you're getting eliminated. It's either a Hershey kiss eating contest or, like, a make-out contest of some kind. It just doesn't read that someone's getting eliminated. You mentioned it earlier, Ryan, but aren't you mad we didn't get to meet Scroogey and Fat Tyler? I am. I'm very upset that Scroogey and Fat Ty hasn't shown up yet. We better get them when we meet Kirby or I'll be very mad. They get a whole episode just about Kirby and Scroogey and Fat Tyler? I don't need Kirby in it. It's an origin episode, how we met Kirby. Yeah, that'd be great. I did like the train by the FBO line. When he's reviewing the resume. Well, it's that, but also even before that. I fudged a little bit on my job history, so you never actually worked at NASA or Burger King. Which is a great combination. I like when NASA, Burger King, and the FBO are in the same category. I mean, he's had an illustrious big career. Ryan, I assume, since you haven't brought it up, that you have not had any upside-down sleuth in this scene. Well, the prom bit. Yeah, the prom. And we're very confident we're going to see Kirby again. Okay, that's fine. Did you not notice Gil's show has a poster in the hallway? We've seen Gil's poster before, so I don't know if it's a new one. But I've commented on it before. This was close up enough that you could see the name of the show. Which I didn't. So, interesting. It's the Chesterton Restaurant Beat. I did not see that coming. Chesterton's his last name. I definitely thought it was going to be him trying to be a super macho guy who gets all the ladies. I thought it was going to be like a hot gossip corner, but for like tough dudes. So, Joe Rogan? No, because I thought it was actually for women. So, I don't know exactly what the format would be. I'm going to tag Joe Rogan in the Facebook post about this so that we can get all of his listeners. So, yeah, being a restaurant review doesn't make any sense. Real quick, if you're joining us and you're wondering why you're here from the Joe Rogan podcast. That's the reference. You're welcome. Marty struggles to control his temper and as a result, his blood pressure. Which is currently being monitored. When Niles refuses to share his fancy old wine, Fraser seeks revenge by recommending Kirby to organize Niles' library. By the way, organize Niles' library is a really hard phrase to say. Wasn't it last episode where he's going to the doctor because he has issues and he's like, oh, I don't need to get checked out by the doctor. I'm fine. That's literally the next episode, right? I think we gave him a hard time for not wanting to go to the doctor. I get it now. He was just there. He had this invasive thing happening over the course of this week. And a week later, he has to go back just to get a refill. I'm with Marty now. No, how? He was on a blood pressure cuff getting monitored regularly. Yeah, the doctor needs to see him again. Watching him with the blood pressure cuff, he handled it very well. Much better than I did when I had the blood pressure cuff on. I wore one for 48 hours as well. When I had it down, I pretty much was on the floor when it would go off because I could not move because I'm not coordinated enough to stand up when that was going off. What are you talking about? I'm really struggling to picture this in my head. What exactly was happening? You've got a cuff on and it starts to go off. And what did you do? You collapsed to the floor? I would do that Brad thing where I just start shaking. And the next thing I know, I'm sitting on the floor because I'm moving too much for it to work. What does that have to do with the blood pressure cuff? Because you have to stay still when it goes off. So if you're moving, then it's not going to take a good thing. So for me, the only way I won't move is if I'm sitting on the floor. You made it sound like you were on the floor because you couldn't handle, I don't know, some bit with the blood pressure cuff. This was just so you could stop moving. Bingo. Yep. There you go. You're bad with the gravity. Yep. Okay. Fantastic. So kudos to Marty. Why were you on the blood pressure cuff? Because I've been on blood pressure medicine since I was 23. Really? Really? Yeah. Why? Because I'm going to have high blood pressure. Blood pressure problems. I didn't think that was a question I had to answer. Follow-up question. Why? What's going on? Is it because you're always stressed out? Follow-up question. What is blood pressure? Family history. That's basically why. I mean, NME, but really family history. Bummer. Did you get any good genes? I have a really good sense of smell and taste. I could be a professional taste tester. I really could be. Well, in the words of Daphne, leave it, old man. So we start off with Daphne being weird, but it's fun Daphne weird. She compliments how he wears the blood pressure cuff. I think it looks handsome. Like those armbands gladiators wore, only inflatable. Such a weird way to go about this, Daphne. We also find out that Kirby's just been calling the house nonstop. Yeah, I didn't think that made a ton of sense. Yeah, why is he so into this? Why does he want to be an intern? I think he just puts a job at him. I think he weirdly likes Frasier. Oh, you mean like likes likes him? Like as a role model and a mentor and a philosophical leader. Yeah, like like. None of that, but there is some weird relationship. Like Frasier feels a little beholden to him in a way we don't understand and probably won't. Well, in this episode, the beholdenness is that clearly Kenny wanted to hire him and he ruined that. He just feels guilty for costing him a job. Yeah, but even now, I don't think, I think there's something else going on because even the way he talks, it's like whatever happened in their past, Frasier seems to have some sort of stronger connection than he should. Okay. So what did you think of Niles and Frasier's pact? We had a deal. Whenever I found a case of rare wine, I've offered you half. I understood our deal only applied to vintages post-1965. I wasn't part of the agreement. Well, I'll have to reread it. It was oral. Oh, pity. Very in line with both of them. And it was very in line with Niles to violate it immediately. If the scene was slipped and was Frasier, we would have been saying the same thing, that it was in line for Frasier to break the pact. Like, I wasn't surprised at all about that. I think what Frasier finds so galling is it sounds like, if I remember, that Frasier did, in fact, honor the pact when he got an opportunity to get some fancy wine. And now that Niles is not honoring it, he's like, but I actually did honor it. Even I'm surprised. This is the second pact we've seen Niles dishonor. Niles skirts the rules on these kind of agreements more than Frasier does. How about the worst advice anyone's ever given to an old man who's mad? Just picture a red balloon floating away. What the shit was that? First off, amazing accent there, Ryan. Really proud of you for that. Thank you. But yeah, not the best advice. Like, I rolled my eyes as he gave it to him. Like, clearly we were setting up for a joke. But as he was saying, it was like, have you ever met your dad? Why would he go along with this? And then it works because he's Marty, but you know, whatever. Do you think there's any part of this that is based in any kind of real psychology or this is just a writer's room trying to come up with something funny for Marty to do? And go. This is the second time we see Frasier pull out the old red balloon as a solution to someone's problem. In the future, it's to use it as a very elaborate and terrible prank. But this time is to calm his dad down. So I don't know. He's got some weird attachment to red balloons. So in long, I don't believe it's a psychological trick. I've never heard somebody say in long before. I just I want to make sure that I took you down the entire winding path so that you now understand where I'm coming from. Wine is Niles's weakness. I feel like that's a notable of a notable admission. I wondered about this. It's not unbelievable that Niles would love wine this much, but it's not usually a solitary thing. Like maybe he just goes homes and drinks this by himself, but he doesn't want to share it with his like best drinking buddy, Frasier. So like I do wonder, like if he's not even going to have a glass with Frasier, is he just drinking alone? That is a good point. I didn't really consider that part. I get hoarding it. I get being like, I want to hoard this in my wine cellar and not share it at all. But presumably he also wants to enjoy it. And you've got to do that with somebody, don't you? Or does he just pour himself the nice stuff and give Frasier like the barefoot? I don't this is I did not consider this while watching the episode is a very good question, because if it's just him wanting to have the bottle, he can give Frasier some. Right. That's that's not it. It's got to be him drinking it himself. But like all of the fun of drinking and eating stuff is then sharing that experience with someone. Yeah. I guess maybe it could just be him and Daphne, but there's no way she appreciates it. Yeah. And even if you're just like I'm just having a glass of wine with dinner. This doesn't sound like the type of wine that you just sip with dinner. Like this sounds like a special occasion wine. No care. What what pray tell is a special occasion wine entailed for you? Um, no food. That's the only thing I know. I've got a bottle of sparkling cider in my fridge right now. Well, that's exciting. You're going to bust it out anytime you're not eating. It's going to be our celebratory. We bought a house wine. I thought you weren't drinking this year. Yes. That's why it's sparkling cider. Oh, why bother? It's a great question. So you're saying this is only for times when you buy a house. That's that's special occasion. I think in a in a recent episode, they made a big decision to move in together. That could be a reason to have a big drink. They're going to get engaged later. That's the reason to have a drink. Yeah. But what what's Daphne going to drink? Tea. British like tea, right? Yeah. Yes, they do. Yes, they do. I forgot she was British. We get a title card. A mountain out of a mulvahill. Kirby narrowly escapes getting shit canned when Niles discovers he has an inn with a famous wine collector. Frazier and Niles fight over who should get to go. But in the process, denigrate Kirby, which he overhears. Man, what an absolutely immaculate library. But I also don't know if anyone's library is set up like that, where it's a bookshelf surrounding a like clearly like an office desk. It looked like a hipster bookstore in New York City in the mid 90s. I thought it looked like the doctor's office in season 10 when we find out Niles is having a heart issue. I just thought it looked like a really nice area. The ladder that is like connected to the bookshelf thing. I love that. I want to I want to experience that. That's such a fun little feature. I used to have those at every like Barnes and Nobles. You weren't supposed to go on them. But like they sure I've encountered them. The thing that threw me in this scene is that it's clearly meant to be like a tornado went through. Like it's supposed to be a chaotic mess. By the end of the episode, we see it all cleaned up and I'm like, oh, OK, so that's what it was supposed to look like. But when I just saw like a big library full of books with books like on a table stacked up, that didn't look like chaos to me. It just looked like it's a library. There are books on the table. What's the big deal? No, a couple were open. Gasp. Least believable bit is that Kirby is reading one while, let him quote, doing his job. There's no chance that he's reading any of those books. No, nor did he even pick them up. You're right. He just was eating Cheetos or whatever fake Cheetos, I should say. I'm sure there might have been a picture or two in some of them. Yeah, but he was stuck on a page like he was reading it. I don't think he was just that. Maybe it was a porn book or something. Erotica? Yeah, maybe some erotica. Yeah. Let's talk about the baller move of Kirby to give his number to, I guess, a female, have him call the house that he's working at and then not pick up the phone. You know what? That was a baller move. Thank you. 100%. I didn't even connect that. You're right. It's two baller moves, right? They're like, oh, I'm going to work here for the day. Here's the number to the house. I don't know why he has it already. And then to not pick it up, have Niles take the call and then turn it down. Incredible move. It may be like Kirby a little more. Well, and then you find out she's got access to an elite wine cellar. It's like, oh, this is a huge power play from Kirby. This is a rich girl who's interested in Kirby, which, again, never thought I'd say that. You know, she's probably mad at her dad. She's like, oh, who's the, you know, who can I find on the streets? Then he's also, like, allowing Kirby the dumbass to come over with an older friend. So, I don't know. It's weird that he gets granted that permission, I guess. Well, the whole premise of the show is incredibly weird. He only let one person who's random who he's never vetted out into his wine cellar. There's no way he'll allow for two. Reasons unknown. But he totally will trust anyone Kirby brings in off the streets. Yeah, it's a very convenient premise for this plot. A little tough. A little tough. I want to talk a little bit about the title card. And this might be a long walk for no real benefit. But I'm excited to hear it because I did not read the title card. As per my new standards. This is a mountain out of a Mulvihill. Now, it turns out Mulvihill is the last name of the rich guy. I did not know that going in because we never know what's going to happen with these title cards. And I just saw Mulvihill. And honest to God, this is how bad I am with female anatomy. What it made me instantly think of was there's an episode of Seinfeld where a woman has a name that rhymes with female anatomy. And at one point, Jerry guesses Mulvihill. And I didn't know what that like I didn't know what he was trying to rhyme it with. Like I was very young when I saw that. And it was a very long time before I understood what he was actually saying. And so when I saw the word Mova written out in a Frasier episode, my instant like guttural thought was, oh, this is some kind of a lady part. This must be some kind of a sex scene. Curtis, surprisingly, this bit actually worked out. So thank you for sharing that. You can keep it in. I love the young Curt. Like everyone else is watching cartoons. Curt's watching Seinfeld, not getting any of the references. That episode is literally the premise is like Jerry spends the whole episode trying to think what could it be? What could it be? But I spent that whole episode trying to figure out the other way around. What is he? What is he rhyming with Mulva? What does that mean? We have to talk about how we dismiss Kirby. Through a secret door. A secret bookcase door. It's like the elite. You're a big secret door guy. This is the elite version of that. I mean, I want this library so bad. I like that he tried to open up the other ones. Is this the secret door? Is this the secret door? There's a reasonable move. Oh, my gosh. I would do anything to have this library in my home. Well, yeah, a lot of people would. But you're there just because of the door. Let me rephrase that. I would do anything save pay for it. You do anything that rounds with Mulva. The part that was interesting to me is the door goes right to the kitchen. Is that what they said? This is where the house is already pretty confusing, the layout. This is nonsense. There's no way it makes sense. Because we know from the past the library is on this. I think it's a split level apartment. I don't know. It's definitely up the stairs. We know that. And we know the kitchen is on the base floor. How will be too connected in any way, shape, or form? It makes no sense. Well, so we... I know that the last time we saw the kitchen, there was no back door to it. But it's possible that was also at one point just a secret back door. Maybe at one point there was a door. It was just hidden as if it wasn't. Maybe this is another secret passageway. Maybe there's a hallway and a staircase that leaves out the back that touches both the library and the kitchen. I'm willing to accept the secret door bit. This hallway would be so much unused space in this apartment. It would be so bananas to do. I'm no joke. Like, deciding what part of my new house I'm going to cordon off with the secret door. Now imagine you decide that, because usually it's like some alcove in the house. You would also then, to match Niles' I guess setup, you would have a huge long hallway that runs up another floor. It would be bananas. So much space devoted to this one weird door. You're making a fair argument, except this is already such a massive apartment. Like, as insane as it is to waste that much space on secret passageways. Like, if you've got that much space, why not? This hallway would be almost as big as Frasier's whole apartment. Which is probably Niles' favorite part about it. Niles must live in, like, a slum and just have, like, the one nice apartment. Like, it makes no sense how his is so much bigger than Frasier's apartment. And he's the only one living there also. You're saying, because why can he afford all that and Frasier's in a smaller apartment that he shares with both his own father and Niles' girlfriend? I'm doing it. Yes, that. There's definitely that bit. But also, like, you know, if he was living in that kind of place, I would assume Frasier was living in a, you know, he would upscale. I would think. Although there could be some weird Maris connection here, I guess. Who could say? Not you two. There's one line that I absolutely loved when Kirby comes in and he hears him talking about him and he says, I'm a hopeless screw-up, just like my priest said. See, I get the joke they were trying to make there. That made me uncomfortable because it just, there's too much in the news with what priests have been doing. Well, I'm a little uncomfortable. Why? Why do you think? Well, I didn't know priests gave that type of feedback. So that's why I thought it was interesting. It is confusing the picture we're painting with him because, first of all, Curt, you're right. It landed like it was a priest joke, which I don't think was the intent. I'm not even sure if that story had fully broken at this point in history. Some people do. I'll tell you that much. This is how, this is, this is again proving that I'm Jewish since I didn't even think about that. I just don't, I think that the joke they're trying to make is that he'll just ramble on anyone and this poor priest is just like, oh, just, you know, saying whatever he can to get Kirby to shut up. But that, again, isn't really the Kirby we see in person. They're creating like a separate Kirby character to me where he's calling Frasier constantly. They just won't let up, blah, blah, blah. But then we meet him and he's, you know, relaxed and fairly regular. Just dumb. Yeah, I don't, yeah, I don't think he's got a very clear and consistent character. We get a title card. Rage against the machine. Everyone is annoying the shit out of Marty, who is striving to keep calm. Daphne suggests the chick flick. All right, now we can all get comfortable. This is the Marty we've come to know. He's just an absolute monster from the get-go of this scene. Daphne walks in the door and he's like, why haven't you fed me already? He was so mean. He was so mean to her. I've never seen him be that mean. It wasn't out of character. Tell you that. Even worse, really, is that when she's like, okay, I will go to the market and get the food to prepare you dinner. He says, no, I'm too hungry. Like, just, let's just open up a can of soup. Which, fine. Like, if you just want to have soup for dinner, that's how you're going to, you know, you're hungry, you want to eat now. That's fine. You have hands and access to a microwave. Like, you do not need her to prepare you soup. I mean, you saw how angry he was existing. If he had to then cook his own soup, the blood pressure would have been through the roof. Is this the scene where he keeps, like, getting angry and then calming himself down? He does it in this scene and the last scene, yeah. Oh, he already did it before this one. No, he did it in, no, sorry, this scene and the last, and, and, yeah, just ignore me. Just this scene. And then future scenes, that's what I'm trying to say. As always, Brad, no idea what's going on over there. The original joke was stupid. I'll give all the credit to, what's his name? John Mulaney. Is that it? I was also confused with a woman sometimes over the phone. What? What's the actor's name? Who are you trying to say? What's the actor's name? For who? Marty? Marty, yeah. Oh, John Mahoney. Oh, sorry. John Mahoney. I was way off. I don't know how you could ever got there. You were way off. I'm not allowed to do this. You know who John Mulaney is, though, right? Maybe two guys are named that. I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. I am a proud Asian American woman, and you will treat me with respect. I don't know, Curt. Although, I do think John Mulaney could play this role, and it wouldn't be any different. So, I think you'd be fine. Marty sucks. John Mahoney. I did an air quotes for you. He acts the hell out of this scene. He does a great job. And he's annoying all the way through. It's exactly the Marty we're also hoping for. Credit to the actor, because I don't do that enough. Discredit to the character. Yeah. I mean, I will say that we're going to get a tiny, tiny, tiny bit of redemption, I think, at the end of this episode for him. But, yeah, none of this is great for him. But watching him do the red balloon bit is funny. Yeah. I love that Frasier takes batteries out of the remote, which seems like a big stretch. Why did he do it again? It was something bananas. For his foot massager. I don't know. It was stupid. Well, and, like, a foot massager is a very specific device. Like, either you're using it or you're not. Whereas a remote, like, you could be constantly picking it up and putting it down. And I'm sure Marty does. Like, why is that moment, like, oh, I guess I'll just have to live without the remote. Like, just go cannibalize the batteries again out of the foot massager. Oh, he wouldn't want to touch it, I guess. Well, he'd have to get up. He could bark at Daphne to go to it. Well, she hadn't gotten home yet. Oh, was that before she got home? I thought she was already there by then. She gets home at the start of the scene. Credit to Marty the character because he had the restraint not to bark at her to go get the batteries the minute she walked in. Well, she had to make him a can of soup, so. Her hands were already tied. Kirby is being showered with attention and gifts by Frasier and Niles. Frasier wins the day with the most alluring bribe of all, an unpaid internship at a local talk radio station. So as much as I have not minded Kirby this episode, I think he was kind of fun. The line where he says we're at Cafe Nervosa for a pre-dinner cocoa annoyed the hell out of me. I hear that, but that's on brand for his character. I felt like that was what I expected him to say. Like, I don't expect him to say a coffee or anything. That's true. I agree with you. It is annoying, but it's who he is. Yeah, I guess. I mean, I feel like he's probably just repeating what Frasier said. Like, he would not go to the coffee shop at all, but Frasier wanted to. So he probably said, you can get a cocoa. Frasier would have been really proud of himself for saying that. So you're probably right. This is the second time in this show where we've referred to hot cocoa as just cocoa. It annoys me every time. Not on board for this. You don't enjoy a good cocoa? I don't enjoy a good... First of all, I hate cocoa now because my daughter wants to have it like every day. So I absolutely hate cocoa, hot, cold, or mild temperature. We've done it all. Trust me. I don't think I've ever heard somebody refer to it as cold cocoa. It's usually chocolate milk, but I think cold cocoa is actually a better name. Yeah, that's kind of fun. Will you also describe what mild cocoa is or whatever you said? When a kid's very young, you don't heat it up. You don't make it like the hot you're used to, right? You make it sort of lukewarm. And then they don't always drink it right away, so it gets even more like lukewarm. Lukey? Yeah, I guess it's even more lukey. Sometimes it gets downright cold, and it's annoying at every moment. And that's how you get a cold cocoa. That's the recipe for a cold cocoa. Yeah. Start with a lukewarm cocoa and just let your child hold on to it until they're ready to have it, and it's cold cocoa. Yep, yep. As long as they don't spill it, it becomes cold. So this is one of those scenes that you sometimes get in Frasier where it's like two characters have to keep having sidebars, and so they keep coming and going from the main conversation with Kirby. And I don't know about you, I don't think this one worked very well. No. I don't think this was particularly funny or well executed. It was not blocked well even. It was just fell flat. The only part that was good was the ending when Niles would have done it and Frasier said no. Yeah. That was the only part that at least there was a little bit of a payoff, but I agree with you. I didn't mind it. I don't know. What was the problems with it? I thought it was all fairly believable. It's not that it was unbelievable and it's not that it was like particularly bad in some way. It just had no life to it. It wasn't like a laugh out loud moment. It wasn't hysterical. It wasn't interesting or new. It was just like, oh, okay, they're doing just a handful of times a sidebar. It was a way to keep the scene going. I guess when you consider this is, I guess, the big scene of the episode, maybe the library one is. Yeah, I guess that's fair. When I watched it and realized, oh, that's the end of this story. That's it. This is how it ends. I was surprised because it seemed like we hadn't even really gotten into. Like, I thought we were going to go to the mansion and meet the meet, go to the wine cellar. I thought we were going to get more. And even when we're discussing it just now, like when we were scrolling through my notes, I got to this scene. I was like, wait, there's only one scene after this. Is this the whole episode? Yeah, I don't think I realized while watching it that it ended on this note for the most part. But here's the thing. The one thing I will say, it ended with what Kirby wanted, the internship. Yeah. I think Brad's right that the bid at the end is pretty good. Where they're just, and Fraser's just shoveling, they're both shoveling money at him. Sure. And he's like, I'll give you the internship. Like, oh, that was all right. You're right. It was all right. And it was good. But I kind of, again, it's not really clear to me. Maybe they explained it. But I don't get why this is the thing Kirby wants so bad. And so for him to stop a bidding war. He needs to have a job to get with the daughter, Mulvill. Mulvill? Yeah. Well, think about it. His first offer was a DVD player. He turned out, it's 2001. He turned out a DVD player for, you know, an internship with Fraser. This is what I'm saying. Like, he's got a bidding war happening. And he could really make some quick dough just letting them shower him with money. And he's going to end it early to get an unpaid internship. It just seems weird. Well, I think he got the money, didn't he? Well, that's true. But I'm just saying, like, they were actively off. Like, that was the money on the table. Yeah. It seemed like there was plenty more where that came from in that particular moment. It was Kirby, right? His goal is to get a job. And he gets a job at the end. We don't have to keep going. I guess you're right. He's a simple creature. His expenses are probably like 20 bucks a month. Like, he's got 500. He's got an internship. This is what he needed. All right. Now let's go talk about an old guy that really needs something. Marty learns he is done with the blood pressure monitor, but pretends otherwise to finish the movie with his toxic masculinity intact. Yeah. Old sap. We all knew it was coming. As soon as he was mediocre complaining about the rom-com, we knew what he was saying. Well, and I think this is where I was saying, like, he kind of a little bit redeems himself because in the whole episode, he's grouchy. He's demanding. Like, you're right, Ryan. This is not a great look for him. Yeah. I actually disagree with you, Curtis, but keep going. Well, okay. Let me just finish my point and then you can disagree with me. I also disagree with Curtis before he finishes. Yeah. Whatever point you're going to make, I am against it. In this scene, the fact that he doesn't actually hate having to watch this rom-com, he kind of enjoys it, I think is a nice little, you know, he's just, he feels like he's not supposed to like it. So he's putting on a show, but deep down he wants to see it. And I think that's, that's sweet. Here's the thing. I 100% understand what you're saying. He still lied in this scene to Daphne. He lied about the phone call. He still absolutely barks at her too. Yeah. I can kind of appreciate that last bit because once he's like, wait, we can finish the movie and she says, should I rewind? And that's when he yells at her, if you're going to keep talking. And I, I completely respect that bark. Like all the other barking at her that he's done this episode in the series, unwarranted, unfair, unjust. That one hit home for me. Yes, Curt. We know anytime a woman's talking, you say, can you please keep it down? I'm trying to watch the telly. We get it, Curt. Fraser plays this out with the Harvard intern organizing Niles's library and playing his Sanison. It was stupid, but I'm glad we get to see the Sanison, which I don't think you've pronounced right yet. Well, I liked it. I liked it that the smart guy was helping Niles with his library and the moron is helping Fraser on his radio show. So it kind of, the world is all in the right place. It's just not an internship though, is it? Helping a guy fix his library. It was questionable why he would want to be an intern at a radio station. Why he wants to organize a strange man's library is beyond anybody's coherence. Still one of her better. Oh yeah. It's top 10. I mean, as soon as he pulls out the shamisen, it's like, oh, this is kind of worth it. Yeah. At least they're getting better at wrapping something up in these, which is nice. Well, Brad, what'd you think? Was this one good? It's not a great episode, but it's kind of entertaining. I weirdly like it. I like how strange and stupid this episode is. I'm going to give it probably a much higher score than you guys. I weirdly like it. I'm going to give it a B+. I kind of enjoyed this episode. Brad, I think you're dead on. I think you're exactly right. We're not going to agree. I rank this 57 out of 74. Pretty skippable. I did not think this was particularly funny or worthwhile. I do think it's better than Star Mitzvah, but I'd rather watch pretty much any of the Julia apps. And Ryan, what about you? I am pining for the Julia apps now. Now that we're like deep in season nine, I miss them. You know, it's really funny. I thought this was a good episode until you pointed out that the big scene is the cafe nervosa scene. That really, that really sinks the episode dramatically for me. I originally gave this like a seven, two. And I do think it sets up well. They just forget to finish it. You're right. We probably should have got to the wine cellar. So I'm going to lower this to like the six, three, which is still probably too high. I do not have a mechanism to change my ranking once it's locked in. But I got to say, I want to almost give this bonus points because of the secret passageway. Like that should bump it up a few points for me. I'm surprised you don't have it really high for just that reason. I knew you were so delighted to see that. Best episode. The funny thing is, I agree with everything you guys said. I still kind of like this episode. I don't know. It's just so weird. And then honestly, that's fine because I think that sometimes that's the way it is. There are episodes that are, you can agree that the plot doesn't make sense and the characterization is not great and it's just not that great. But you just, I don't know, for some reason you enjoyed it. I think we'll all have those. I think the characterization is pretty good except for Kirby. I think we just can't hone in on his character. I thought everyone else was pretty dead on. Which is hilarious because this is his second to last appearance. So it's crazy how scattered they are with him in two appearances. And I can't wait because we're clearly going to see him a third time. Maybe at least a third time. Yeah. So I'm certain they're just going to gadget him in whatever way they need to. Nothing in this episode inspires Niles to great treachery more than the allure of fine wines. But what will wine inspire in us? I'll bring the wine, your pair, yourselves. It's a completely sensible and entirely clear segment we're calling The Long and Whining Road. Oh, that's a great name though. Curtis, when you first started with nothing, I really thought you were going to say, nothing in this episode inspired the three of us to come up with any good ideas. Well, that would probably be fairly true. I like The Long and Whiny Road though, Curt. I do. So basically what we're going to do here, I am going to... Oh, we're doing something. Oh, okay. Honestly, we could just go out on the high of that name. I mean, we might have to cut the rest. We'll see. Who knows? So what I'm going to do is I'm going to describe for you some wonderful, fancy vintages of wines. The kind that Niles and Fraser would drop their jaws over. Just stuff that me and Brad aren't even allowed to look at. Yeah. And you guys are going to take it in and then tell me what you think you can relate that to your life. I'm sorry, when you say take it in, do we have samples or are we going to be drinking this? You pretend that you're singing it, sure. Oh, I thought you mailed us some. I was going to check out on your stoop. We got wine. You were going to bark at your wife, go check the mail and also make me a can of soup to pair with my wine. So first up, Demand de la Romani, Conte Romani, Conte Grand Cru. I feel like I'm in a service right now. I'm listening to a mass of some kind. This is a 2015 vintage from Burgundy, France. A symphony of celestial perfection, this legendary pinot noir unveils layer upon layer of ethereal complexity. Notes of wild strawberries, violets, and forest floor mingle in an almost intangible whisper of spice. The mouthfeel is sheer silk, gliding effortlessly across the palate, leaving a hauntingly long finish of truffle, damp earth, and the dreams of old monks. I don't have a clue what you just described. I do want to taste the dreams of old monks, though. How exciting is that? What's the format here, Curt? What are we doing? Brad's genius idea was that after I said all that, you were going to relate it to something in your life? Yeah, so I can go first. When you say genius idea, you mean the best of all of our worst ideas. I want to make that very clear. I'm going to go with a nice midday hike. Hike in the woods. No, Brad, we're talking about our lives. Yeah. Not whatever you're about to say. Yeah. You've never gone on a hike once in your life. I run a summer camp. I don't think you understand my job at all. So a nice hike in the woods where, you know, there's flowers and nice scents, and you're having this fruity wine that you described. So that's what made me think of it. You said, Curt, it's like there's an ethereal bit to it. Did I catch that? Layer upon layer of ethereal complexity. Yeah. Yeah. So I think the vibe I was getting there, that plus the damp earth bit, I was really thinking about, like, I love to be outside at night peeing. So, like, I'm thinking maybe I got a nice glass of whatever you'd said, Pinot Noir. I take a pee, take a swig, look up at the stars. You're going to pee with Pinot Noir? I'm going to pee with Pinot Noir. I assume that's where the name came from. Yeah, weirdly similar are answers in a way. So now, Curt, you have to judge which one you like the pairing better with. I mean, we all enjoy a nice pee. Yeah, I knew you were going to win that one, Ryan. Point to Ryan. I'm going to try not to do a pee thing this whole time. Yeah, good luck. Next up, we have Boone's Farm Blue Hawaiian. A fluorescent blue abomination masquerading as wine, this bottle tastes like someone melted a snow cone into a bottle of rubbing alcohol. Expect artificial pineapple, aggressive sugar, and a finish that can only be described as questionable life choices. I got a great answer for this one. Are we supposed to compare this to our current life, or can we use, like, all of our experiences of the past? I think you can use all of your experiences. You draw on whatever's funniest, buddy. I'm going to go with slot machines. Not regular gambling, just gambling on slot machines. Because slot machines are stupid, they take your money quickly. And they're bright. Yeah, and blue wine is bright and stupid and a waste of time. So I'm going to go with slot. It only comes in giant jugs for some reason? No, I actually have a bottle of blue wine, and it's a very fancy bottle for terrible shit. How could it be a fancy bottle? Oh, you're saying the bottle design is fancy? Yeah, yeah, exactly. In fairness, you're describing blue wine. I'm describing Boone's Farm. You said it was blue. You said it was blue. You said it was blue wine. Right, but I'm saying it's... Are you not familiar with Boone's Farm? No, not really. Oh, okay. The middle hit different. It's like the wine that high schoolers drink. If you call it blue Hawaiian, I'm still expecting it to be blue. Yeah, you call it blue Hawaiian. I'm sure it's blue. My point is, Brad is describing a really fancy bottle. I'm saying this is not a fancy bottle. This is like a plastic jug, for sure. I thought you were trying to say it's not blue. That would have really made me mad. Yeah, that's what I thought you were saying. Got it. When I said blue, I was saying you're saying blue and you're relating it to another blue product, but I'm not describing just... The blueness is not the problem. It is the bottle. Blueness is a little bit of the problem. You go to the wine section of anywhere, it rarely is anything blue, if at all. I honestly don't know if this is real. So my answer is thought machines. Ryan, what's your answer? This argues me back to the good old days of beer pong. Probably not the beer pong in your apartment, Curtis. It's probably all the way back to the fraternity days. When Brad described the slot machine, I was shocked because I didn't know how this segment was going to go or what we were going to do with it. But it seemed vividly accurate to describe, to relate his time at a slot machine with his time drinking food farm. So I think Brad takes this one. Should I be contesting this? Like, no! There is no appeals process, no. Oh, good. Okay. I don't know how to appeal. Like, no, Curt, you should drink it in a frat house. Chateau Margaux. Vintage the year 2000 from Bordeaux, France. A wine that defines grandeur, draped in aristocratic elegance. This legendary Bordeaux exudes black currant and crushed rose petals, woven together in a tapestry of cedar and graphite. The tannins are velvety yet firm, promising immortality in a bottle. What a wine! This is not a drink. It's a journey into the divine. I don't know what the fuck is happening, but I want to try this wine. I have a great answer, Ryan. If you were to go first, you can, because I've gone first every time. But I'm really proud of my answer for this one. Yeah, I guess I should go first, because I don't even know what you said. I was really, the whole time I was like, what's the color of this wine? And then you're like, it's the path to immortality. You're like, holy shit. Okay. Nevermind. You're like swirling it around in the wine glass, and I'm like putting on cult robes. I'm in for the cult robes. Oh, if we got like a skull and crossbone situation, not really my life, but it would be cool. Oh, that'd be tight. How can I relate to that? The path to immortality. I assume found a youth. I got nothing here, man. I'm going to say. Ryan, you have more than anyone a claim to a path towards immortality. You have procreated. Oh, well, yeah, I guess that's a way to think of that. I'm not going that route. Okay. But I don't do anything that would lead to immortality, so maybe I should. Oh, Curt. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I'm really glad that I'm on the just read these off portion of this. Segment. Found a youth. Like, I'm going to be in a pool of some kind out looking in our- You should just say water park. Oh, you know what? No. Yes. Lazy river on a water park. Boom. Lock it in, Curt. Lock it in. Okay. So I went with a very different direction with this answer. So, you know, you said it was a 2000, and then your whole explanation was very pretentious. I could see people drinking this wine and bragging about drinking a wine made in 2000, even though it's not even that old. So the thing that came to mind is watching CNN. I feel like that really sums up what you should be drinking when you're watching CNN. That's supposed to be something you do, Brad. I'm a liberal. Of course I watch CNN. Why would you admit to watching CNN for any reason? Regardless of political state, what's wrong with you? Wolf Blitzer. Jewish. I thought you were going to say he's hot or something. I didn't know what that was. Apparently, all I do is make Jewish jokes. But I just feel like your whole description is pretentious, and when you're watching CNN, you definitely feel a little pretentious. I didn't get Wolf Blitzer vibes as he was describing that. Did you? I do think Wolf Blitzer probably has this on the regular. Thank you. I was in, like, the Queen's Gambit type of headspace or something, you know? Like, I mean, definitely in Europe. Well, here's the thing, though. Ryan, you said lazy. Now, you could have just said water park, like I suggested. You could have said any kind of water ride. But you said a lazy river. And what does a lazy river do? It circles, but it's just a big circle, right? Like, it all connects. It's immortality. It is infinite. So we've got to go with you for this one. Yeah, but so is Wolf Blitzer. He's immortal. Well, okay, hold on. That's interesting. There's no appeal process, Curt. Oh, fuck. Oh, damn. Sorry, Brad. Sorry, Brad. He's got me there. How about the Carlo Rossi Pazian from the USA, sold in a giant jug. The granddaddy of cheap table wine. This jug-sized wonder smells vaguely of fermented raisins and crushed aspirations. It's sweet. It's rough. And it'll be there for you when no one else is. Best served in a plastic cup at a backyard party. I'm going to contest that last bit. Best served right out of the jug. This is a walk-in wine. This is a day-drinkin'. This is a day-drinkin'. Walkin' about town. Once you finish it, you discard it and accidentally break it on the road. I think it's eating Taco Bell and drinking wine by yourself. I pick Brad. Say yours again, Brad. Eating Taco Bell, drinking wine, 100% by yourself. Not with anybody. That's what I got from this explanation. I don't really like the way that you're specifying that bit. I mean, you can just talk to Taco Bell. I'm torn because on the one hand, Ryan is describing my aspiration. You know, walkin' wine. And Brad is describing my reality, solo Taco Bell. So... You have a husband now. You don't have to do solo Taco Bell almost ever. Okay. Well, anyway, I always gotta go with aspiration. Ryan, walkin' drink. Boom. How about the Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon. 2018, Napa Valley, USA. A rarefied elixir of American winemaking. This court classic is an explosion of opulence. Ripe blackberries, cassis, cassis, I don't know what that word is. And violets dance with a sultry undertone of vanilla and mocha. The structure is impeccable. The tannins as fine as a woven cashmere. And the finish lasts longer than a California sunset. If you want to taste wealth, this is it. So, Curt, I got, I drank in California one time and it was, I was newly 21. I was newly minted and I went on a wine tour. And it was one of those where it was like you give a ticket and then you get a wine. Sure. And some responsible adults were with me and they didn't use all of their wine tickets. So I grabbed theirs and used theirs. And I got so drunk out of my mind that I got locked into a bathroom on a bus. So that's the vibe I'm getting, nevertheless. You got locked in because you couldn't unlock it? Or you got locked in because they were saying you need to just throw up in there. You can't be back in the regular bus. No, no. I locked myself in and forgot how to unlock the door. Perfect. I had some people trying to coach me from the outside. Been like, just, just open the door. I remember when you told me this story right after it happened and my reaction is still the same. Vintage Ryan. So, yeah. I think I'm going to go with that, Curt. Pretty good. Locked in the bathroom. Would have loved to have an extra glass of wine there. That is going to be hard to beat. I'm also going to go with the wine theme for this one. And one time I went to a wine festival by myself and I walked around and I felt very, like, special because I was drinking all these fancy wines. When you say special, Brad, can you please clarify? Oh, yeah. Because I spent a lot of money and was, like, trying wine and I was, like, I was by myself. So I went to the session where I learned all about wine. You felt like a celebrity or what do you mean? Um, I felt like I was cool, I would say, because I was trying all these cool wines and I had a little wine cup that was cool and no one was bothering me. So I'm going to go with that adventure. That was depressing. It was so depressing. I'm going to go with rhymes again. I didn't mean it. It was really fun. I watched a cooking demonstration where I learned how to make coleslaw. Coleslaw is not cooking. It's all cold ingredients. Not comfortable, neither. Now I know how to make it, Curtis. This is not a joke. I learned how to make coleslaw. You described it like it was a really nice time, but then, like, the way you described it, it sounded super depressing. Are you sure you had a good time at this? Fair to the mind, Brad. Ryan described getting wasted with, I assume, his parents on a bus and getting locked in a bathroom. That's correct. My parents were absolutely there. And we're describing your story as depressing. You're forgetting the biggest detail. I learned how to make coleslaw. Brad wins it. Okay. You really emphasized how alone you were in this journey. I didn't mean to. That's uncomfortable. How did you find the wine festival and decide you were going to go to it? Because that is kind of a big move. When I lived downtown, both of the hosts of my show were in that apartment. You lived in a super cool apartment that you didn't really pay for. I paid for it. I paid 40%. That was still $1,200 a month. I thought you were paying way less. No. I wish. We also had to pay for parking and all this other crazy stuff, but still was paying $1,200 a month. Just parking. That's the only other experience. We had to pay for the elevator. It was all these other things, but not the point. You didn't pay for the elevator? The elevator. Was it coin operated? It wasn't just the elevator. It was community utilities that included the elevator, the doorman, all that kind of stuff. What? It wasn't even a doorman. I don't remember one. It was a doorman. From where I lived, there was a nice shopping center that had a bunch of places. I think I took you guys to a couple of the places there, but I was walking there. On the way, I saw all these food trucks and people set up. I was like, oh, I don't know what this was. I saw it was a wine festival, so I just bought a ticket and walked in. It was really that simple. Oh, you accidentally wandered into a wine festival. That makes way more sense. I thought you, like, you know, it was not planned. No. It's funny because you described it. It sounded depressing. I think, Curt, you would enjoy this experience. You like you. You don't mind traveling by yourself or being. I don't, and I don't ever want, like, I've been in some version of your story, Ryan. Like, I haven't done exactly that, but I've experienced that level of drunk, and I don't wish to or need to experience that ever again. So. Yeah, I will say, I don't know about you guys, but for me, wine, like, it gets me drunk, but it, like, takes a little bit. Like, it has a little bit of a delay for me. Yes, it is. It's a sneaky one. Which was my problem as a newly minted 21-year-old. And thankfully, I got back to my apartment, but I got back to my apartment, and it was like, holy fuck am I drunk right now. That happens with wine. It sneaks up on you. Yeah, yeah. All right. It's a fun drunk, though. MD 2020. That's not the vintage. Yes. We're talking Mad Dog. We're going to have the same answer, but okay. Specifically, Banana Red, the stuff of legends and regrets. This fortified, quote-unquote, wine smashes together artificial banana and cherry cough syrup into a 13% ABV fever dream. A rite of passion for broke college students and those who've abandoned all hope. Wine's a fun drunk. Mad Dog is a mad drunk. Yeah. Do you want me to go first for this one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it's definitely going to be the same type of event. Yeah, so in college, I had a friend who was in a fraternity, and his fraternity for homecoming, they had a tradition of drinking Mad Dog. When you first wake up. When you first wake up. Thank you. I wonder why you know that. When you first wake up. Freshman year, we had never had Mad Dog, and we never knew what we were doing. And Curtis was not with us because there was a little bit of time freshman year where he was hanging out with his high school friends. I don't believe they're real. In October, Curt refused to hang out with us for some reason. Now, that is true, but bear in mind that I believe you did this, like, every year, and I never once joined you. In the Mad Dog. We're just talking about freshman year. Yeah. He never joined us once? Not even once. How? But just freshman year. So we drank Mad Dog, had no idea. We thought everything was fine. I wake up in my apartment. Dorm. You're dorm. If you woke up in an apartment, that'd be very bad. Sorry. My dorm. Ryan was not my roommate at that time or ever in life. He ended up on the bottom bed of the bunk bed. So Mad Dog gets you really messed up. One of the few times I've fallen asleep outside of my own bed. I, like, rarely do. Okay, Ryan, that is an interesting point and adds some weight to what Brad was saying. But I gotta say, being in college in a dorm room and having your friend pass out on the bottom bunk doesn't sound like the height of crazy zany drunk stories. I was four doors down was my dorm. You guys are both forgetting a big detail. Remember who my freshman roommate was and how disgusting that bed was. Oh. I mean, I wasn't exactly the height of cleanliness. It was fine. Compared to that guy. Was he particularly uncleanly? He just did uncleanly things on that bed. There was a lot of action on that bed. Yeah, a lot of action. Not that day, though, Curt. Not the day you were occupying it. Don't worry. There was no action that day. It was safe that day. Ryan, what's your Mad Dog story? The other time I passed out and not my bed was the next year. Fell asleep on a park bench waiting for the bus. And then my buddy pulls up. He's like, dude, what are you doing? He's like, I'm sleeping. He's like, you're outside. You're on a bench. Get up. And then the next year was when my buddy Michael Gage shows up to my house. And he puked into our couch. And we found out three days later. It was a college house. There was like eight guys living there. So you're just like, whatever. It doesn't smell great in here. And then eventually we're like, no, it doesn't smell right. And we eventually pushed the couch. And saw there's just a huge pile of puke underneath it. Wow. Well, that's just vile enough that I got to go, Brad, on this one. Because his seemed much more like goofy college kids drinking too much. As opposed to the consequences of goofy college kids drinking too much. We also ate pizza in Brad's story. He didn't cover that part. But I didn't think that was going to win me. But maybe I should have. I spun anyway. Yeah, I don't. I have not been keeping track of who's won which. I don't think anyone's won. I think we've established that we are all losers in this segment. But maybe we'll find out what kind of a loser Frasier is in the next episode. Ryan, why don't you tell us what to expect next week when we cover the previous episode. It's season nine, episode eight. The 200th episode. Okay. So when I was viewing it on Paramount+, the world's worst app in history. Paramount+, get your shit together. The name just popped up as the 200th. So I didn't know right away that it was the 200th episode. But I did. I sleuthed it and pieced it together. So kind of a hero. So keep that in mind as I read this. For the 200th episode, some old friends reappear. Diver Dilbert, Dodgy Domingo, the Peterson sisters, Big Country, and Old Stu reunite with our heroes for an absolute feast of feasts. Oh, we're going to get old Pete and young Stu. What did you say? Old Stu, Big Country, the Peterson sisters, Diver Dilbert, and Dodgy Domingo. Definitely Dodge Domingo. I miss those guys. I know. It's going to be great to see them again. Well, we'll find out if we get to the end of them next week. That's going to do it for us. Thanks to Gavin McLeod for our theme music and thank you for listening. I suppose you don't really care if this podcast is successful. You would never take five minutes out of your precious day to go to Apple Podcasts and leave us a review. You don't use Facebook, YouTube, or Instagram, or TikTok. You aren't curious what happens if you search for Reverse Psych Pod. Lord knows you can't be bothered to shoot us an email at reversepsychpod at gmail.com. For myself, for Ryan, for Brad, best day. I don't have my notes loaded yet. Give me one second. What were you doing? I don't understand. I was trying to think of anything I could think of about rom-coms. Okay. And it was turned out, collectively, none of us had much. I pulled up your notes. That's not helpful. All right, here we go.