Cranes Unplugged

Title: Camping Competition Activity description: Each of us will face life-threatening camping challenges and it will be up to the other two to decide if we survived or failed. Adjudication method: the other two to decide if we survived or failed Scoring mechanism: Gain a point for survival, lose a point for failure.; And the person who uses the fewest items by the end of the game gets an extra three points. Rules: The only items you can use to survive are what you bring with you.; From which you can pick three items.; Once you've used an item, it's gone and you'll have to pick a replacement part for the next scenario.; You have to keep your previous item. Method: It's a random sort.; So it automatically resorts. Competition adjudication competition established: True Winner statement: Congratulations, Ryan. Result qualification: So I've tied with Brad for last place.

Rules: lucky charm: mechanism: This allows you to conjure any item you can think of that will help you in your scenario.; success points: 1; failure points: -2; availability: once per participant; mystery box: mechanism: I've already assigned you randomly an item from this list.; success points: 2; failure points: -1; availability: once per participant; claimed item must be used: True; harrison ford: mechanism: He'll come with his helicopter.; adjudication: bypass the judges; score effect points: 0; availability: once across all participants Answer qualification: Unresolved: ['one object or person only', 'an ambulance with an EMT permitted']

Answer or action: I think I put the collapsible sink together so it's not collapsible.; And then I throw it.; And I'm actually going to get my mystery box item, too.; Definitely taking the laser signal flare and shooting that right at him and killing that moose.; The mouth.; Don't want to use any more items. Answer qualification: Throwing the sink to distract him a little bit and then taking the laser thing to really; distract and throw it at him. Adjudication verdict: SURVIVED Score effect points: 2 Scores: Brad: 1; Ryan: 0; Curtis: 0

Answer or action: I'm going to use that survival manual guide and I'm going to figure out what do you do with; the wolf?; And what it says, I'm just going to predict what it would say.; I feel like if I offer it really, you know, delicious, clean water that it can't get just; at the stream or whatever, I think that's really going to win him over. Adjudication verdict: FAILED Score effect points: -1 Result qualification: appeal: I feel like I should get some kind of consideration for having consulted a guide that told me this; was a good idea.; replies: Nope.; Sorry.; status: REJECTED

Choice: chemical hand warmers Answer or action: I'm not using the communicator.; I will leave it be.; I'm just going to use the hand warmers to accelerate my death.; I will breathe in the fumes of the chemical hand warmers as they burn.; I will take the loss. Answer qualification: initial proposal: Obviously, I'm going to turn on the GPS satellite communicator.; initial proposal status: WITHDRAWN; final communicator use: False; monocular suggestion accepted: False Adjudication verdict: FAILED Score effect points: -1 Monocular suggestion voice: Ryan

Welcome to Reverse Psychology, the Frasier Rewatch Podcast, where we go backwards through every episode of the show. Tonight, we are covering Season 8, Episode 10, Cranes Unplugged, which originally aired on January 16th, 2001. At the age of 13, is Freddy already better at dating than Frasier? We'll find out. I'm your host, Curtis Jack. Joining me as always, it's our resident upside downer, it's Ryan, saying so. Curtis, quick pitch for you. Why don't we go unplug tonight? Let's do this podcast without any plugs. I've got bad news from our pre-show. It sounds like the next guest is unplugged, and we just have to hope and pray his sound quality is okay. It's a moron from the deli. It's Bradley Kirkston. We are getting so good at segues without even trying. That's amazing. Curtis, can I have one request for tonight's episode? I would also like one request. I assume you're a genie or something. Well, no, because in this episode, he refers to Freddy as Frederick. Can you guys please refer to me as Bradrick for the rest of the episode, please? Probably not. I mean... I feel like it's in play. Yeah. It's not a no, but crucially, it's not a yes either. What would be the Nicholas name for Curt? The Nicholas name for Curt? Yeah, it's the opposite of your nickname, right? Whenever it's significantly longer. Like, what'd you say, Bradrick? Because it's Christmas Eve Eve on the date of release, are you doing some kind of weird Saint Nick reference? No. No, this is regular parlance for me. I think the long version of Curtis would be Curtis Mint. Curtis Mint? No. Curtis Mint. But Curtis Mint sounds good too. What? Are you saying Curtis Mint? Yeah. Spell that for me. I know you don't know how to spell, but try your best. C-U-R-T. This is where it gets weird. U-S-M-I-N. Oh, I like that. I-N. Okay, so ending in an N. Yeah. Curtis Mint. Let's talk about... I wanted to bring this up. Marty tells a ghost story in this episode, and I thought it would be fun for us to discuss ghost stories as a topic for this opening discussion. Ryan, you shot this down so quick. I don't believe in ghost stories, Curt. I don't believe in them. What is your opposition to ghost stories? For one, have you ever heard one? I've heard many. In real life. I'm not talking about like when watching a cartoon when they do it. Like, have you heard it in real life? Yes. Was it about a ghost? That's an interesting question. Elaborate on that. Was the main antagonist of the story a ghost? In some cases, yes. In other cases, now that you say it was just sort of a otherworldly, you know, supernatural creature. It wasn't really clear whether it was a ghost. Yes, I agree with Curtis. In my favorite ghost story, it's very unclear if it's a ghost or an unwordly creature. Yeah, an unwordy creature like Brad. I've never been scared of ghosts. I don't get this, the fear of them. They can't touch. I don't, like, why should I be worried about a ghost at all? There was a whole movie about a friendly ghost. His name was Casper. Just like most of my ghost exposure to me. I haven't seen the Patrick Swayze one, which I think he's a friendly-ish ghost too. He's a ghost with benefits. I've always loved you. Ditto. Why are ghosts supposed to be a scary thing? And why have they, why do they dominate the campfire circles? I don't understand it. I grew up going to a sleepover camp and at my sleepover camp, we used to tell ghost stories all the time. We had this great one about this guy named Cropsey. It was great. This guy named Cropsey does not sound like a ghost to me. Is this just the maintenance guy at the camp? That's part of the story, but we used to sing a song where we were cross-fitted to come along. Do you want me to sing it? Yes. Cropsey, put down your knife and hug me, Cropsey. Ew, what? Put down your knife and hug me. That's what you're supposed to say to him. That's going to be like a Cropsey, the snowman. That's what I thought you were saying. That'd be better. No, it doesn't snow at a Jewish summer camp. Hopefully it doesn't snow at any summer camp. I once met this guy there at a camp in Winnipeg, Manitoba, and the high was 41 degrees every summer. Fahrenheit? Yes. That was a great question. That was a really good question, Ryan. Okay, Curt, you love ghost stories. You wanted to talk about them in great detail. Well, Todd, why? Why do you like them? So I grew up similar to Brad. I was in the Cub Scouts, and I also was told many ghost stories, but the one that stands out is we were camping in western Pennsylvania somewhere. It must have been close to Falling Water, the Frank Lloyd Wright, you know, house that has a waterfall going through it. I don't think that you led with the architect dude and not the waterfall. Well, let me explain. So we were told by the fathers of this Cub Scout troop this whole weekend, they were talking about Frank Lloyd Wright and described him as this tall, long gray-haired sort of scruffy old guy and how he died in these woods. And it was like, I didn't have any concept of who Frank Lloyd Wright was in real life. Like, I didn't understand that he was an architect and like, he had this career. I just knew him as what they told me, which is that he's this like, man who died in the woods and now haunts these, these woods. And only children can see him, the ghost of Frank Lloyd Wright. I think they just liked the name Frank Lloyd Wright. They thought it sounded like a spooky name. It's a three-namer, right? It's a serial killer vibe. Right. I get it. So we're around the campfire. The added detail of only children can see him feels wildly unnecessary to me. Oh, it's very necessary because into the camp wandered a guy who looked exactly, not like actual Frank Lloyd Wright, but like what we were told Frank Lloyd Wright looks like. And he sits down around our campfire and you say ghosts can't touch you, like what's there to fear. But when a weird old man shows up and everybody's like, uh, who is that? Or all the kids, I should say, go, who is that? And the adults are like, who is who? Like you're pointing at a log, like an empty log. There's nobody sitting there. And they're pretending like they can't see this man who has wandered in, who they have intentionally described this man to us as if that is what Frank Lloyd Wright looks like. Wait, you're saying this wasn't a real ghost, Curt? No, spoiler alert, it did not turn out to be a ghost. I was one of the older kids. I think it was like 10 or 11. Like I was, I was, um, one of the older kids. I was a little bit skeptical, but I was still like young enough to be like, is this a ghost? It could be a ghost. You were skeptical the day you were born. So that's a joke. But there were like six and seven year olds on this trip. I think, I mean, these kids started to cry. They started to wail. They were freaking the fuck out. And, um, like on some level, it sounds traumatic, but I remember it fondly. Like I remember being very impressed by the fathers who put this up. It was a very well executed prank. Yeah. Okay. That's fair. But like, it's not really a story, is it? I mean, I'm sure there was some story they told. I don't remember the details of the ghost story, but I remember a man wandering him. It wasn't a gripping story. They just, they just pranked you. Yeah. It's a good prank, but it's, you're not like, oh man, that ghost story was so gripping. You don't even know if they told one. Ryan, I know you weren't really a child, but when you were a child, you never like sat around a campfire and your friends told ghost stories? I've been camping one time and I was 23. You didn't watch like, um. No, I never seen Ghost with Patrick Swayze. I already established that, Brad. He's got an attitude now. You never watched Are You Afraid of the Dark growing up on Nickelodeon? Um, I watched it a little bit. It was fine. Okay. Those were a lot of ghost stories sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes. Mostly not. Also, I don't know. Ghosts just don't do it for me. Why do you think they tell ghost stories? Is it like to keep kids from not running away in the middle of night? No, I think it's the same reason people watch horror movies. Like there is a thrill. No one understands that. Nobody understands that. Okay. The reason it's always on camp outs is because it's dark, you're around a fire. Like there's a like automatic spookiness to the setting. Yeah, but it feels like a bad design to be like, let's get these kids to basically shit their pants and then they won't sleep all night. Like it just feels like a poor setup for a camp situation. Well, this has been a poor setup for this episode, but I think we should get into- Oh, are we on a podcast? I forgot about that. I think we should get into the Frasier- Are you still pushing for that? Yeah, come on, Curtis. Let's talk about a segment that went nowhere. Let's keep going. We open with a hot air balloon rising over Seattle. A frustrated and lonely Roz blows a gasket on Frasier's collar who is juggling three men. Frasier is excited for Freddy's visit. How many times in one show can we talk about people dating multiple people? It comes up so often. It's really like a plot point that goes across the whole series at this point. It's like our sixth or seventh time we've done this. I mean, yeah, this is a blurb for the call-in show, but like it just comes up a lot. I've been dating three different guys and one's really funny, one's adventurous, and one's sensitive. Rather than choose among them, why not try to find one person who fits all your criteria? Yeah, that's the obvious advice, but that's not going to help this person. That's obviously not advice, right? Right. Like, oh, good. You went to medical school for that? Thanks, Frasier. Just magically come up with a fourth man who has all three of those things. Easy peasy. Since when is Roz the sad sack character? Why don't you call back when you're a working single mother whose choice in dates is between a guy with eight teeth and a guy whose hair is painted on? I didn't like that as the start of this episode. What? We've never hinted at that after. We've seen slut-shaming of Roz. We get a whole season of her in kind of a serious-ish relationship. The closest we get to sad sack Roz is how annoying she is about the fact that she found someone she likes, and that's not close to what we're doing in this episode. Right. I don't have a sense of how old Alice is. Old as fucking Alice! Part of her complaint is being a single mom in this episode. It's possible that maybe she's closer to a much younger Alice, and maybe it's a moment in her life that it's a real struggle even to get a chance to go out and date. Maybe that eases a little as the kid gets a little older. Maybe it's a little bit more, you know, she's an established babysitter or something. Like maybe after this episode, things calm down. If I think she's six at some points, probably in the later seasons when they explain stuff, so she's probably like three, four, five-ish right now, right? Somewhere in that zone. And you narrowed it down. She was six in the finale of season 11. We're in season eight, and you think five is in play? Back in my old days, I used to watch soap operas, and they would like change the age of the character depending on the actor that plays them. So like a character could be like 25, and then like two years later, they're 50, because they just get a different actor to replace them. So maybe it's that kind of thing. Like next year, she'll be like 15. I don't think she's six because of how she's looked. I think they said that. Doesn't matter. On soaps, that doesn't matter. They had me play my own father, who then became pregnant despite the vasectomy. While we're on the subject of children's ages, I want to talk about Freddy. Yes. Because Frasier makes a real point to exclaim that Freddy is in fact 13 right now in this episode. That made me so angry. Well, you, I'm sure, will remember that he had a bar mitzvah. That episode, the bar mitzvah episode aired on November of 2002. This episode is airing on January 2001. Yeah. Well, what's that mean season-wise, though? I don't like, yeah, kids age a real life. About a year. Yeah. Star mitzvah was near the beginning of season 10. We're now at the beginning of season, or kind of the middle of season 8. So it's essentially two years. That's crazy. Yes. And that made me so angry. If you're going to do a Jewish episode, let's do it when he's really 13. Let's not, like, mess up the bar mitzvah. That's the most important part of a Jewish man's life. What do you mean when he's really 13? It should have been this season. Well, hold on, Brad, because I did the math. So the Cheers episode, season 8, episode 6, The Stork Brings a Crane, the Freddy Birth episode, that aired in November of 1989, which means that at the time of the bar mitzvah episode, he would have been just barely turning 13. The episode we're in right now, he should be 11. So the point is, the writers were not communicating with each other. Great. That makes me feel better. We've known that. That's not that surprising. It is weird that they emphasize he's 13 for no purpose. Well, I think it's because, we're going to get into it, but there is a little bit of a young man having his first kiss and, like, finding girls attractive. I think that probably makes more sense for a 13-year-old than an 11-year-old, and that's why they aged him up in this episode. There's kids that were 11 that were making out with girls. Like, yeah, not us, but, like, people we knew. It was so downhill after that, but I was. You peaked at 11. I peaked at 11. You're such a Freddy. Yeah. At this point, I hope next season, he's 13 as well. He's just 13 the rest of the season. Yes. I hope this continues. I really hope they make a point, like, in this episode to say his age, and it's like, he's 13. It is weird. We think they purposely aged up the actor, even, probably, because it's definitely the same actor the rest of the way through, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll get to season one of Frasier, and Freddy will be a teenager, and Alice will still be, like, a toddler. Didn't play, I guess. We talked about Dr. Tewkes-Berry, so he's still around. Yeah. Yeah, I think that implies we're going to see him again, right? Because he's referenced here as somebody Frasier's reconnected with, but seemingly, there must be an episode where that happens. Yeah, it feels like that. He's a main character for seasons one to four, and then they had to write him out. That'd be great. There was a quote that happened right before the Tewkes-Berry reference that I rewound a couple times. I have no idea what he says. The Renaissance Fair is a fortnight after St. Swithin's Day. Brad, what do you think St. Swithin's Day is? St. Swithin's Day is the day that the Puritan people got to Plymouth Rock. Maybe. Doubt it. St. Swithin's Day is celebrated on July 15th and is a day steeped in British folklore, most notably a belief that the weather on this day will continue for the next 40 days. Legend claims that if it rains on July 15th, it will rain for the following 40 days. That does sound like Britain, though. And if it's sunny, it will be sunny for 40 days. So it's like their version of the Groundhog Day, but like really extreme and intense. Yeah. It's like whatever this day is, it'll be this for 40, like what? That's not believable at all. Groundhog Day is six weeks. That's pretty comparable to 40 days. They don't say it's the exact same weather every day. It's just bad weather. You're right. Yeah. There's a mascot for St. St. I want to call it St. Swithin's Day. What is it? St. It's S-W-I-T-H-I-N. St. Swithin's Day. St. Swithin's Day. That's a tough. We should have changed Swithin. That's difficult. That's how we changed it to a Groundhog and moved it to February. And then relaxed about it. I love that Frasier pretends like his son's his priority in any sense. Like he pretends it for this episode, never the rest of the series. I guess because Freddy comes home with a Game Boy. I don't know. He's just put off after that. I think he says he only sees Freddy once or twice a year. Which feels right. I mean, every time we see Freddy, that's the amount of times he's actually seen Freddy in a year. Right. It's not like there's ever been like, Freddy was there this weekend. He just left. Like that doesn't happen. Frasier never pops over to Boston. No. Frasier is such an absent parent. He's always felt like he can just cram a weekend with stuff to do to bond with the kid. And that's enough. And that now Freddy doesn't want to participate in that makes him feel like, oh, I can't even. I'm not even at the one day. And even though it's his failing, he's treating it like Freddy is being ungrateful. It reflects when he's talking to Roz and Roz tries to bring up Alice and he's like, I don't want, don't be one of those mothers that bores people talking about their kids. Right. That is, I mean, Frasier does walk that walk at least. You know, it's funny because the line read to me more as like Frasier going on and on about Freddy just to throw it back at Roz's face for trying to do the same thing. Which is what they're doing. That's a joke to me. But it's so much funnier to think of it your way, Ryan. He's just like, no, you don't talk about your child. You don't bring him up. You don't think about him. Who would do that? We're adults. That's for a three day weekend once a year. Freddy is more interested in his Game Boy and talking to his friends on the phone than hanging with his dad. Daphne meets Niles' friend Jack and decides to set him up with Roz. You can see why Freddy doesn't want to hang out with his dad. His dad can't even be bothered to pick him up from the airport. The one time of the year he flies into Seattle. Does he have a thing about airports? Because every time there's somebody coming in, it's always Niles or Marty or Daphne. It's always somebody else going to pick them up at the airport. It's never Frasier. It's clearly he lands during Frasier's show. I've been defining myself by my career. But like, I also feel like Frasier could take the day off and go pick up his kid the one time of the year he flies into Seattle. My first priority is my son. We know Frasier works. I think he's like a mid-afternoon radio show, like, or maybe it's mid-morning, but it's like during the day. It's very unclear exactly what it is. Niles? Doesn't he have like a therapy practice? Isn't he busy all day? Why is he free to go? Yeah, but I think he does own his own practice, is my guess, so he can make up his own schedule to pick up his nephew. Yeah, but Frasier owns his own show. Or if he doesn't, he can certainly tell Kenny he won't be in that day. Well, yes, he could, but he won't because that's not the type of father he is. Right. My first priority is my son. Marty was really into that video. Yeah. And Frasier kind of got mesmerized by it, too. Them perving out over this music video really put me off. I thought it was fun. You have to remember, Marty's from the newspaper era. He's not used to, he's used to the girls buttoning up to their chins and, you know, like, they're not revealing themselves. They're certainly not wearing steel mesh shorts. Steel mesh shorts. I would have liked to have seen what they thought were steel mesh shorts. Yeah, I don't know. It's hard to picture what that's supposed to be. My guess is just a silver skirt. Yeah. Yeah, probably. We also get, because Niles comes back from, I think, a squash game or something. Yeah. And I love that Daphne compliments him on the way he smells masculine after a workout. And Niles is like, it's the mango kiwi shower gel. And it raises a good question. It raises the Twitter question of the week. The question's been begged. What could possibly be a manlier scent than mango kiwi, Curt? Pineapple salsa. Oh, that's delicious. Okay, interesting. Brad? Banana cream pie. There's innuendo there. I don't, that's confusing what you're going for. Disturbingly plausible there's an innuendo happening. Those are two mediocre to terrible answers. I think you guys can do better out there. So get at us. Anywhere you can tweet us, except for X. This has been the Twitter question of the week. Speaking of questioning people, I love Daphne's interrogation of Jack. I don't see a wedding ring. You're single. Yes. Looking. Sure. For a woman. Right. Rapid fire of just asking him questions about himself. And you see Niles is getting nervous. Like, Niles is worried that this is for Daphne. She's interested in Jack, but really she just wants to punt him off on Roz. Tiny bit unclear. It was kind of written like she was slow. She was getting into him quickly. He has a vibe to him. He had sort of like a, like a, I don't know how to say this. Serial killer vibe. Like, it felt like he was looking through everyone. Interesting. I did not get that. I just got generic handsome man from him. Brad, break the tie. Well, as, as somebody that is, you know, considered a generic handsome man. Yeah, I got that vibe as well. I think Brad verbally sided with you, but proved my point. That's funny. Ryan, I'm, I don't know if you were going to bring this up, but I feel like this is some sleuthing. I don't think we knew about this before. Niles probes Freddy about his feelings for Daphne. Yes, I did rank that. Yes, that was confusing. I wrote it with a question mark and an exclamation point. So yes, sleuthing was done. Even if that was a made up thing that just happened in today's episode, do you really think that like Niles needed to sit down with his nephew to explain that he's dating her? It makes a certain question that like, how, how has this possibly manifested? Like, we, we better see this if they're going to write this in. He must have been like really, really enthralled by her at some point, right? Probably when he was 13, two seasons from now. But like, you know. It does help my point that maybe he was 13, two seasons ago. Yeah, it really does. Like, Niles knows about this. Obviously, it predates them being together. So like, what was Freddy doing? If you have a nephew that you're like, okay, he's got a future aunt and I need to sit down with him and make sure he's going to be okay with this because he wants to be more than just friends with the aunt. That doesn't matter. Aunts can fill that role. At some point, they must be like, Freddy, she's unattainable. She's three times your age. Like, this can't happen. You're also like wildly underage. But they seem to have not had that conversation. If Niles has to now have this one. He seems to have come to his own conclusion that she's 100 and therefore too old for him. It is fair. Like, when you're that age, everyone seems like they're 100. Yeah, totally. Like, I'm just trying to play Pokemans on my Game Boy. Like, why are all these 100 year olds trying to talk to me on the couch? Oh, this is fun. I didn't finish a note, apparently. I wrote the Crane Boys should. That's how that sentence ends. Possibly read Walden? Oh, yes, yes. Because Niles got so into the idea. And then they started discussing things back and forth. Yeah, that is exactly what it is. Yeah. Like, okay, you can't do this with your son. Why don't you do it with your brother you actually hang out with? Ryan, your dad used to do stuff like that with you, right? Make you read books? My dad did read The Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Ring to me. And I quite enjoyed that. But I certainly didn't read it on my own. And then we discussed it in the woods or whatever. Ryan, you do realize that reading a book and having a book read to you are not the same thing? That's what I'm saying. Like, we certainly weren't doing book club together. Like, yeah, we only hung out once a year, but we didn't read a book leading into it. It's even weirder because it was like, he's only here for the weekend. Let's read it over the weekend while we're here together. Yeah, that is weird. Frustrated by his failure to bond with his son, Frazier demands three generations of cranes take to the woods for a camping truck. So, Ryan, when you heard about the Computer Expo, were you surprised that Freddie tried to ditch his dad at the Computer Expo? I don't even know how you ditch someone at a Computer Expo. Microsoft's there, right? But like, how big could it possibly have been? I mean, it's probably just like any big conference or convention. I don't go to those, Curt. I don't camp and I don't expo. You've never gone to any like conventions for work or for anything like that? I went to a Linux Fest once. It was like four rooms. There was nowhere to run from your dad. When we get to the part where Marty and Frazier are talking and Frazier's expressing his frustration, and Marty makes the, I think, very salient point that Frazier on camping trips growing up would rather read about nature than actually experience it with his family. And what really annoyed me in this moment is that rather than reflecting and like taking in what his father said to him, he instantly connects it to Dr. Tewksbury and is like, Dr. Tewksbury was just saying something about this very thing. And that is what makes him feel like, yeah, you're right. I should, I should experience nature. And I'm like, you don't need your mentor to be involved. You're talking to your dad. He just told you this. He looks at Dr. Tewksbury as a father figure, I think. He's more relatable to him. Yeah, as always, Curt, you're focused on the wrong bad dad. Marty makes that, that point. He's like, oh, I'm just trying to take you to the woods all the time. And then Frazier's like, we're going to the woods. And Marty was furious about this. There's like the next line. He's like, all right, we're going to the woods. And then Marty's like, what the hell? I don't go to the woods anymore. I'm going to defend Marty in this, apparently in this episode. Marty took his boys camping when they were young kids and he was presumably a middle-aged man. He's got a bullet in his hip. Yes, I'm not asking him to lift up some groceries. I'm asking him to go hang out in the woods. He's like, oh, I'm not asking him to do this. He says in a later scene that he went camping with his friend like last year. Well, that's Duke. That's different. That doesn't count either. I'm team Marty for that one. Duke sounds like a trip. While Marty's being mad at Frazier, he takes it out on Freddy. Fathers and sons should do fun things together. Well, grandpa don't do fun things together. Hey, leave me out of this. That's why he's coming along as well. Good work, Freddy. That fell off. And it wasn't even like in a jokey way. He was very serious about it. He was very serious about it. Yeah, I don't know why he also feels like obligated because he's not there to be like a father figure to Frazier. Like he's not he's not going because he wants to support Frazier. He's going because he feels forced to. But like was Frazier going to like refuse to let him live in his house if he didn't go? Like what was stopping him from just saying I'm not doing that? I wish that would be the rest of the episode. Was it drawing that line in the sand and letting it escalate? Not going to the actual fucking woods. Frazier pretends like he doesn't hate this bathroomless cabin. Marty is annoyed. Frazier is interrupting the playoffs for this. Do cabins in the woods not have bathrooms? Who's building a whole building and not putting a bathroom in or at least an outhouse? I've run camping actually a good amount. Most of the time, not in a cabin. When I have done it in a cabin, there's been a community bathroom, not one in the cabin. Right. If I'm going to rough it, fine. But if I'm going to a place that has a bed, like why aren't we also just putting a bathroom? No, that's what I'm saying. It's usually a community bathroom. It's not in the cabin. That's also fine. That clearly was not the case. It is possible that there is a communal bathroom. That they don't know where it is because they just drove out into the woods on a whim does not mean there isn't a bathroom. There might be. This is another point of order. Did they drive out to the woods on a whim or did he book something? How are they in this place? That is a very good question. Also, why aren't we in tents? Wouldn't that be way funnier? Why are we getting enough room? It does seem like a tent camping might have been the more plausible route if this was really happening. The two points in favor of the cabin. One is I doubt Frazier owns a tent and it's probably easier to book a cabin than to go buy a bunch of gear. Also, this is a TV show. And for production reasons, it's probably a lot simpler to frame all this in a set that looks like a wooden room than to frame it in some kind of outdoor tent situation. I'm pretty sure you can do a quote unquote outdoor set pretty easy. That used to happen all the time. I'm just saying it's easier to just have a few walls than to have a bunch of, you know, plants brought in. Are they going to have scenes in the tent? Are they going to have to like huddle down? Like, no, they're not going to have scenes in the tent, Curt. We didn't see anyone sleep. Well, we did, but never mind that. Ryan, how mad were you at Frazier's comment that the playoffs are just year-round? That was funny. I assumed Curt thought that was real. I was a little bit confused by the timing because this aired in January. They don't seem like they're in deep winter camping. I did look it up. Seattle is more like 40 degrees. But still, it seems like a cold time of year to go camping. And then later, we'll get into it. But Roz is also going to have a date on a patio. Like, there's a lot of outdoor stuff happening. Marty's a boring guy. He likes baseball. This was probably the baseball playoffs. Yeah, but it wouldn't be going on in January. Right. They aired this in January. That doesn't mean it's quote unquote January. I mean, Freddie's 13 in this. So I guess there could be a time warp happening. And also, like, maybe it's tennis playoffs. I don't know. Maybe it's some sport no one cares about. Marty's got a lot of free time. Maybe this is F1. I don't know. I don't know if they have playoffs. Well, what they do have are some really fun activities like pressing leaves or whittling a bird call to lure some finches to your sill. I'm cool with the bird call. I'm cool with the whittle. Is pressing leaves a thing? What is that? Take a leaf that you find in nature and you press it in a book so that it is flattened and dries out and is preserved rather than rotting away. It is a real thing. And then what? Then you've got a beautiful leaf. Are you done after you press it? Or do you, like, then macromay it into something? I think you just have a book of leaves. What are you talking about? It's what people do. You're out in nature. Why do you need a book of preserved leaves that have already fallen off of the tree? I didn't say I participate in it, but I think it's a thing. This leave business, I'm not buying it. Speaking of things I'm not buying, Freddy finds out there's a rope swing next camp. Why didn't we all go over to next camp? Why did Frazier and Marty stay back at the cabin they didn't care about? I do think that they even picked up that he wanted to be with his friends. They're not his friends. He's just met them. I mean, I think Frazier back at the apartment could have been like, I'm taking the Game Boy. Like, you're going to read this book. Like, he could put his foot down and insist his son participate. And now that he's in the cabin, he could say, we're pressing leaves and you're going to go find some leaves to press. Like, he could insist. But I think what he really wants is Freddy to want to spend time with him. And he's frustrated that he won't. So he just wants to complain to his dad about, why won't my son play with me? But he doesn't want to force the issue. He wants Freddy to choose it. I would have gone over to the rope swing. I would have checked that out. We get a title card. Was there a doctor in the house? Roz is nervous to meet the eligible doctor. He checks his service and is forced to leave. Daphne insists Roz stay for dinner as a consolation prize. So I think the question that's raised in this scene is a good one. Did Dr. Serial Killer ditch? Or did he check in and actually have to go in? One, it's very upsetting that we all find out. It would have been a great toss out and scrabble eggs to actually get the answer to this. Yes. Oh, that would have been much better. Much better. I think it was real. I really do. I'm confident it's not real, but it is in fact a ditch for a couple reasons. One, he does make the choice to call in. Like, he knew he was going on a date. He could have called in before he left the house. So I think it was his out. He finally saw her. He knew his meeting woman. He meets her. He sees her. He goes, not my type. And he bails. And the other evidence to me is that there's no follow-up. We don't find out that she went on a few dates with him and it fizzled out. Like, as far as we know, this is it. And if he was sincerely taken away by his work, he would have made a follow-up date. Do you think he knew that she had a kid? Maybe that's what this is. Like, I'll take a runner. If she's, like, the most attractive thing I've ever seen, we'll go for it. Like, knowing that she has a kid, that means she has to reach a higher bar. Yeah, she better come out swinging, and she didn't. And she had that delightfully frizzy hair. That didn't do it for him. Yeah, what? What was she thinking? But this is the scene where he says he wants to take her to dinner at a garden patio. And I'm just like, it's January. I know it's a little more mild in Seattle, but come on. I can go to a garden patio in the winter. Not a problem for me at all. I don't even need a jacket most of the time. Psychopath. I just don't get that cold. Frazier forces Freddy to have dinner with the family. When Frazier learns this is not his first campout and won't be special, he lets Freddy go. Do you think Frazier went outside for a single minute of this campout? Not one second. Why would he? I don't think he went to the bathroom the whole time. That's for sure. He held it for sure. Oh, for sure. Yeah. What's your opinion on Sloppy Joe's? Do you feel like that's campout food? No. I've never had a campout, so I would say no. It seems like it'd be difficult to cook and eat in that setting. Correct. It's one of the few foods I can actually cook, which is... I mean, we're talking about less than 10 dishes, and I can make it just fine. All you need is a can and some meat and a pan. Right, but how are you holding that pan over a fire? Oh, yeah. I haven't camped much, right? That's a problem. I don't know. There's no bathroom. There's definitely not a kitchen in this cabin. You know, a kitchen, though, you need just a couple of... Like a metal grate, essentially, right? Sure. It's not that hard. I did enjoy Frazier being incredibly rude to random children. All right, now off you go, young people. That was fun. Have you ever tried it? I mean, you work around young people. Have you ever tried shooting them away like that? No, but I might add that to my list of new things to do at work, you know. Always looking for new hobbies. It's troubling that you've got a whole list of weird things to do at work. No, he's out of things that he's like, I really need to find stuff to do. I need to shoo away some kids at my kids' summer camp. I do think we need to talk about Frazier screaming. We leave at daybreak! He loves daybreak. I loved that. It's the dramatic flourish. It's fun. He declared daybreak to leave for the journey, and he's declaring daybreak to go home. And I liked it both times. We leave at daybreak. What's with you and daybreak? I don't get why Marty puts the kibosh on that. I was a big fan of it. I don't want to be up at that hour, even though I am all the time, but I would love to declare we leave at daybreak. We get another title card. Why does his breath smell like mortadella? With Roz being a real wet blanket, Niles brings another doctor to their door. However, Daphne recognizes him as the moron from the deli and insists Niles get rid of him. Yet, Roz is charmed by him and devastated when he too disappears. Don't you think Roz would know the moron from the deli? Like, she's probably picked up Frasier's dinner from there and stuff. I did think about that. Like, they seem to run in the same circles. Would it be somebody she'd never run into? I don't know. That's a good question. I think Niles lives on the other side of Seattle. Like, I don't think he lives that close to Frasier, which is weird because he's always over there. No, but they're at Frasier's apartment, and I think this is a guy he went down to the deli to grab him. Wait, that's a good point. It'd be really weird if they dragged him across town. Yeah, I like that they kept calling him Ted the Moron. Which is really disrespectful. You know he's chief doctor of brainiatrics. It's so funny. It's because Roz finds that so charming. Which, I mean, that is a moron to say. We didn't have the context there. I don't know. Depends how he delivered it. I think it was literally her going, so what kind of medicine do you practice? And he panicked and said, I'm chief doctor of brainiatrics. So I like that they ran back the ditching Roz thing. I wish we would have done that like three or four more times, though. Two wasn't enough for me. That would have been another good tossed salad. I think we could have quick checked it. We don't have to make these scenes very long. We just, she meets a guy. She gets dished from a kitchen soon. I think that'd be great. Fraser explains to Marty how much he wanted a golden moment with his son. Freddy offers just that by admitting he'd just had his first kiss, and that he wants to stay at the campground another day. The scene starts with Marty telling a scary story to his son. When you hear that scratching at your window late at night, remember that young couple and fork in. First off, it was not a scary story. Second off, Fraser did not care about the story. Yeah, there was distinct lack of engagement on Fraser's part. Justifiably. Do you think he was distracted from Marty's story because he was so in his head about his son, or do you think he just really had to pee and couldn't focus on anything else? I think it's a 60-40 split, but the pee wins. I think it's a 40-40-20 split, 20 being that Marty's not a good scary storyteller. Oh, come on! That's scary stuff! In a battle between you and having to pee, pee always wins. Oh, yeah. I mean, sometimes that ramps up the excitement of a story. If you're just like, I gotta wait until this ends, and then, oh, it's not ending. Okay, I'm starting to get a little antsy. This is a bit of a tangent, but I was once on a ghost tour. It was not good stories, it was not very interesting, and I wanted to bail. But also, I really had to pee, and it was a walking tour. So I went to the guy, and I said, I'm very sorry. I'm not gonna be able to finish the tour. I have to use the restroom. I'm gonna go find a bathroom. Go on without me. Don't worry about me. He was never gonna worry about you. Well, I made the mistake of saying that, and he, like, made me Google Map the next stop so I could meet tech up with them. It was horrible. So what? You don't have to then do it. I felt obligated. Why? Because Curtis is too nice to strangers. I'm a people pleaser. You had it out, just like the serial killer doctor. You don't have to then go back and be like, oh, I actually, I finished my pee. Let's continue with this horrible tour. You didn't want to let him down. Why? I don't know. What was his name? Do you even remember his name? No. Why did you not want to let this guy down? I don't know. I'm broken. Work on yourself. Probably won't. Okay, can I talk about old moments, please? Yes, please. Yes. That's not a phrase. People won't say that. What is the problem? Do you not understand what he means by it in context? Of course I do. But everyone here is golden moment. And we all think the same thing, right? That's not just me. No, 100%. Yes. Oh. Oh, I now get your objection. It's just a weird thing to say. Like, he could have said special moment. Yeah, but now that I understand what you're talking about, I think, again, we already clocked that he isn't going to pee on this trip. There's a lot of talk of pee. And that this is clearly a subconscious thing. Yeah. Oh. Oh, that's interesting. It's like a Freudian slip happening. Oh, that actually kind of helps. I mean, it's not because he says he wants to have it with his son, but still, like, it does kind of explain it a little bit. Frasier had gotten both of them journals so they could journal on the camping trip, the thing that you want to do when you're camping. And Marty had been writing some nasty stuff about Frasier in it, and Freddy went to read it. And I just love the delivery of this kid actor on the line. Whoa. Did you see the stuff that grandpa wrote about you? Give me that! That was very well delivered. Absolutely. Knocked that line out of the park. It's so, like, what do you think he wrote about? I mean, it wasn't nice. What could it possibly have been? That you'd be like, that, like, the grandkid was like, I can't believe grandpa wrote this about you. My guess it was just, like, a lot of random curse words, like, you effing bleeping mother tricker, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Wow. You, sir, are a mouthful. I don't know. A lot of curse words. Well, we're not allowed to use them on beer. Yeah, Curt, please beep all that out. I just, like, okay, say it's a series of curse words and then Frasier, right? Like, that'd be weird. How'd you guys feel about the runner that he keeps angry journaling about Frasier? I would have liked the payoff of more than just Freddy seeing it, of, like, us seeing, like, one sitting on the table. This is the kind of thing that works better with your imagination. Like, if you know, if you hear the horrible thing, it's probably going to sound that bad or it won't, like, make much sense. Or it'll sound so bad that it won't fit, right? Yeah. Just the imagination of, what did he say? I think that's more fun than knowing. So, Frasier wanted this golden moment and he kind of gets it. And, like, how do you feel about this ending with Freddy? Like, yes, he was ignoring Frasier for his friends, but that resulted in a very meaningful first kiss for Freddy. And that he, like, shares it with Frasier. That's a weird way of putting that. I mean that he lets his father know about what happened. He brought his father into the golden moment, yes. And he doesn't want his mom to know about it. It is interesting. You know, as a dad, I can say that that would be quite a moment. You would like to be a part of that in the way that Frasier was. At the same time, it didn't invoke a particularly strong feeling, so I don't think it was that good. It feels a little forced to me. Like, I get what the episode's doing, but it feels like the version of, like, teenage Freddy who wants nothing to do with his father, that is a very relatable. Like, part of life and thing for Frasier to deal with. The idea that Frasier ultimately gets his wish and that his son does have a, like, a really great bonding moment and that all of his chaos and we have to go camping all of a sudden pays off. I just feel like it's a little forced. It's, again, Curt, it's unrelatable for us. We didn't have these moments in middle school and high school, but. Frasier plays this out with Frasier burning pages from a journal while the others sleep. Paper Rip is waking everyone up. I mean, he's a foot from them. He's being dainty about it, though. No, he's not. He's being coy and looking around and then does a regular paper tear. Oh. Well, you might be right. Um, did you get what this scene was? Yes, because we watched the episode, Curt. It was Frasier throwing away all the nasty notes about him. Obviously. Why is that a thing he would do? Because they were so mean. If we draw it out one more minute, it's a good question. Like, yeah, obviously he's mad about whatever Marty wrote, which begs the question, what did Marty write. But, like, ultimately, uh, no one's ever going to look at this ever. So. Right. Probably not worth burning. Unless he, like, revealed in the journal, like, real secrets. Like, things Frasier doesn't want out in the world. I guess that could be. But I don't know. Just, this one did not land for me. Definitely not what it is. It was definitely, he said something mildly upsetting about Frasier. And that caused him to burn individual pages. There's not like, Frasier was born with a third leg and we got it removed. So, you know, nothing like that. I think this is the bullshit scrambled egg. It's one of the worst we've gotten. No. Definitely not. I don't know if it was one of the worst we've gotten. Some of them are very bad. I think this is both not funny and it doesn't make sense. Both fair. Not even close to a bottom ten. I mean, we've watched almost a hundred episodes. You can be right that it's not the bottom ten and it can still be one of the worst. Well, Brad, did you think this episode was one of the worst? No. I liked it. I think the Freddy bits are good. It does show, you know, a teenager in a normal place in his life disagreeing with his father not wanting to be with his father. The Ross bit was pretty funny. It really was. We didn't talk about it a lot because I think it was pretty well executed. Yeah. I'm going to give it a score I have not given in a long time. I'm going to give it a solid B. Just a B. I didn't know you could do that. Yeah. Curtis, what do you think, bro? B stands for bro. Watching it, it didn't really bother me. The touching, the golden moment, we're calling it. No, that's what he called it. That's not what we're calling it. We decided collectively we're going to call it the golden moment. I didn't think it was that bad watching it. It's thinking back on it. I was like, that's kind of bullshit. I ranked this 53 out of 97. Kind of middle of the pack. I thought this was better than Maris Returns, the one with Sarah Silverman, but worse than the Love You Fake, the Cora Winston episode. Ryan, what do you think? It's funny. We all sounded pretty down on it, but I think we all generally liked it. I think Curt, you actually did a disservice with the rating you gave it. Only considering some of the recent ratings you've been giving these middling episodes. I gave it a similar score. I gave it a 5.6. We got high Ross usage, which was nice. And she probably gets the best laughs. I didn't think that the payoff for Niles being frustrated with her staying in the apartment was well done. And the father-son bonding moment that you were asking about, it was fine, right? Like it wasn't... Yeah. It wasn't endearing enough and it wasn't funny enough. We didn't go either direction. It was just sort of there. They didn't botch it or anything. It just wasn't... There just wasn't anything to really write about. It was middling. 5.6. Frazier takes his family camping to save his relationship with his son. But if we go camping, will it be our very lives that need saving? Let's find out in a game of Camping Competition. I'm not happy with the name. If you've got a punch up, let me know. Then Camping Competition? Sure. Why am I looking under a fucking rainbow here, Curt? What is this? Take it easy. We'll get to it. Each of us will face life-threatening camping challenges and it will be up to the other two to decide if we survived or failed. Gain a point for survival, lose a point for failure. The only items you can use to survive are what you bring with you. And I've sent you a list of gear. 63 Rose Card. From which you can pick three items. Three items? This is not fair. This is what Frazier did to Freddy. He's like, go read a whole fucking book and then we can relate to each other. So you're going to pick three items. Then you're going to go through a scenario. Once you've used an item, it's gone and you'll have to pick a replacement part for the next scenario. And the person who uses the fewest items by the end of the game gets an extra three points. Wait, what? How do we get new items? So you're going to pick three items and then I'm going to tell you a scenario and you will figure out which. Maybe you only need one of those items to survive. If you need all three, you use all three. But you're going to use one to three of those items to survive. Okay, I love this. I love that the last item is survival manual. We have more to learn. You have three lifelines in this game. Oh, goodness. First is the lucky charm. This allows you to conjure any item you can think of that will help you in your scenario. So if you don't like the items you've got, you need something new. You can just tell us what you have. If you use this, you can still gain a point for the round if you succeed. But if you fail with the lucky charm, you're going to lose two points. Cool idea. Not a lucky charm. It's a worse than magic charm. What do you reflender it? That's not luck. Second lifeline is a mystery box. I've already assigned you randomly an item from this list. I don't know what it is. You don't know what it is. And if you choose to use it, you will net two points if you succeed. And you'll still only lose one point if you fail. The final lifeline is a radio call to Harrison Ford. If you just don't know how you're going to get out of this situation, you can call him up. He'll come with his helicopter. He'll rescue you. And in that case, you bypass the judges and neither lose nor gain a point. Okay. And we can do each of these once. Correct. But if I call in Harrison Ford, you can also then call in Harrison Ford. That's the way I planned it. But if you want to make it where only one of us can use, like once it's used, it's gone for all of us. We can play it that way. I think only one of us can use Harrison Ford. Okay. I am fine with that. Only Harrison Ford though? Yeah. The other two is fine. Magic item and mystery box is great. I love mystery. So Ryan, you're in your first. I'll tell you what. I'm not choosing a multi-band radio, you fucking nerd. What would you like? I want a laser signal flare because I saw a laser. I want a compact hunting bow for sustenance hunting. And I will take a... What the hell's a cramp on, Curt? What is this? And I'll take a full tank survival knife with fire striker. Ryan, here is your scenario. You've lost your map and can't find the trail in dense fog. Where am I? We're camping. We're out in the woods. Am I like 10 feet from my house? Like what woods? What do you mean? Well, you don't know where you are because you've lost your map and you can't find your trail in dense fog. Well, I didn't get dropped there. Like I know where we are roughly. Am I in Antarctica or am I in like Chicago? You're in the woods. Okay. I shoot my laser signal flare. Okay. All right, Brad. Do you think that's enough to get him rescued in thick fog? Is a laser signal flare enough? I would say yes. What do you think? I was leaning towards no, but I mean, I think the laser maybe. Maybe makes the signal flare better. I don't know. That's the whole point. I thought I thought that's why we have the laser. I don't know if this is even a product that exists. So I'm very confused, but it seems very effective. All right, Ryan. We're going to give you the point. By the way, while I'm waiting for someone to come rescue me, I am going to shoot the hunting bow and a couple of deer. Okay. You didn't need to do that, but now the hunting bow is off the board. You don't get to use it again. That's fine. I will do the storm proof lighter. Okay. The fishing gear. Oh my God. I would pay so much money to watch Brad fish. I would repair tape. Brad, your scenario. Your boat drifts away, leaving you stranded on an island. Okay. So literally none of these are going to help me. Your one thing will help you. I'm going to use the compact fishing survival kit to fish food, and then I'm living on the island for the rest of my life. Wilson! Wilson! I mean, no chance that works. There's no chance Brad can use a regular fishing kit. Forget a compact fishing kit. Not to mention, I feel like, what is in there? Like, some hooks and some string? Like, I don't know if those are going to last very long if he's living his whole life there. I like that you didn't use the storm proof lighter either. He's going to gollum these fish. He's not cooking them. You're raw dying some trout. I'm playing the long game, you know? I want to keep the storm proof lighter for something else. Yeah, but you definitely didn't survive this. I thought I was going to survive. You didn't survive this. All right, I'm going to go. I'm going for snow shovel and saw. I feel like the saw makes it seem like a much more useful tool. Sure. Oh, wait, is the snow shovel like one edge of the shovel is serrated? I think that's what it is, yeah. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. I'm also going for the gravity-fed water filtration system. I will die immediately if I don't have water. Okay. Like, if I go on a regular hike, like a hike in a small park, I will need water. How did previous generations, including ourselves, live without just constantly chugging water? I have a 40-ounce jug right next to me, and I, like, it's constantly up there. When I was a kid, like, in elementary school, like, I would go through the whole day. At most, I would occasionally get water fountain. Like, I did not have a bottle of water all day. The water fountain that would dribble, like, it barely would get above the actual... And I was fine. We had one classroom that had a really good water fountain, and every student knew that. But I never once passed out from dehydration. Like, what the hell happened? And now I'm constantly, like, dehydrated. I don't get it at all. I don't either. But you know what else? I'm going to get a survival manual and field guide. Of course, you are. Chris is licking his chops for that. I feel like it's going to be a wealth of information. Can me and Ryan Spitzel the scenario we pick for you? It's a random sort. So it automatically resorts. And my scenario is, I wake up to find my campsite washed away. I'm confused. Did the bed wash away, or did you just lose a fire? Yeah, I mean, the campsite washed away is confusing, because if I was asleep, I was in the tent, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think you're dead. Did I wash away with it? I think you died. Do you want to pick a different scene that's... I'll do a different one. Absolutely not. Pull out the field manual. Let's see what it says. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. You know what? Harrison Ford, I need you. You're all clear, kid. Now let's blow this thing and go home. No! I was going to call Harrison. And thanks to Ryan, I've taken it off the board. No! Oh! Curtis, that was a really smart move. If my first one wasn't so easy, I was definitely going to call Indiana Jones to help me out. All right, Ryan, you've got a full tank survival knife with fire striker. What else would you like? You need two other items. Oh, I get to keep my previous items. You have to keep your previous item. Oh, okay. I want the flamethrower. Okay. How is electrolyte and rehydration pack not under water and food? It's organized the way it's organized, okay? I'll take the ice axe. Oh, that's a good one. All right, Ryan, your scenario. A venomous snake bites your leg miles from help. I take the flamethrower and light his ass up. I enjoy some snake for dinner. I think I'm going to have to then go to the mystery box. Oh! Ryan is claiming his mystery box. You have a snow shovel and saw. Well, I dashed the snake's brains out. Where'd I get bit? Your leg gets bit. I cut off my leg and I use the flamethrower to cauterize the wound. And you use the snow shovel for the cutting? I have an ice axe, Curt. And a full tank survival. Actually, every single item I have can cut. Okay, which one are you using to cut? Good question. Well, it's a snow shovel and saw. And I think you have to use the mystery item if you claim it. Oh, all right. Then I'll do that. Yeah, then fine. Okay. So he's cut off with a snow shovel saw. I just don't know if that's going to be sharp enough. I don't think it is either. That's my hope here. What is a saw? What do you mean? What is a saw? It's a snow shovel and saw. It's like the spork of snow gear. That dude in 127 hours cut his arm off with like, I forget what, like a fork or some shit. You're not that dude. You have to cut this off before the blood reaches above your leg. Like before the venom reaches above your leg. And you have to cauterize the wound. I'll hold my leg in the air probably. You also have to flamethrower, which like that feels like a very, very messy way to cauterize a wound. That is not a precision instrument. It's a controlled flame. You just have to grit it past the wound. I think it's a valiant effort. But Brad, I'm leaning towards he's lost this one. Where are you at? I would agree. Mr. Sansone has perished. All right. I mean, I don't agree, but fine. All right, Brad, you need one item. The collapsible sink for water collection. What are you going to do with that? Well, I got to find out the scenario. I probably should have said this. So the first round was getting lost or stranded. The second round is dangerous wildlife encounters. Are there themes? I don't know there's themes. You should also reemphasize what items we have. Brad, you are going into this with a stormproof lighter that is wind resistant, repair tape, extreme temperature rated, and a collapsible sink for water collection. Brad, you face a moose that charges after feeling threatened. Throw the kitchen sink at him. You got this. I think I put the collapsible sink together so it's not collapsible. And then I throw it. It's just uncollapsed. You put it together. I throw it at him. And I'm actually going to get my mystery box item, too. I know Ryan said you should throw the sink at him, but it's a collapsible sink. I think it's made of like rubber cloth. I don't think it's I don't think it's like a big ceramic thing. It's going to distract him. And then I'm going to use whatever my mystery box is, which is laser signal flare. Sick. Definitely taking the laser signal flare and shooting that right at him and killing that moose. There's no chance you're killing it. But he doesn't necessarily have to kill it, right? He needs to distract it or make it run away or just like run away himself. That might be enough. It's one of those challenges where it's like it's Brad. There's no way he can hit. Like he has terrible aim. A moose is a big target. If he hits it in the eye, like that moose is out of commission. You got to hit this guy in the head, right? I don't think if you hit it in the leg, it's not taking him out. I don't think I don't think you take him out, but it might distract him. Yeah. Yeah. I think you can stun him. Like I think if you hit him just like in the body, I don't think that's doing it. And I don't think Brad's hitting him for the record. I think Brad's about 20 feet up in the air above the moose. I mean, we probably all are in real life. But like if Brad was in a non-threatening scenario, that's how far off he'd be. But let's assume he hit it. Where are you aiming, Brad? The mouth. The mouth. Here's why I think Brad can hit him. It's a laser signal flare. He's got a I don't really know what that means. I'm assuming the laser helps with aim. I'm pretty sure it's not a product. And the signal flare is going to be sort of a mild explosive. It's not going to like penetrate a moose, but it is going to sort of be a flash that's going to freak him out. I think that's enough to scare the moose away. Oh, I don't. You think? I don't think it's going to run harder at it. All right. You know what? What are you doing with the sink? Tell me more about the sink. Throwing the sink to distract him a little bit and then taking the laser thing to really distract and throw it at him. I don't like the collapsible sink part of it because I feel like your reaction to a moose charging you is to do a project. Like I'm going to uncollapse this thing. That's what I have in my hand at the time. I'm not really prepared for this, so I have to improvise. I'm not prepared for a moose charging me. Yeah, that's fair. Man, this is right on the fence, isn't it? It is. I don't know. You want to win this over? You want to use another item? Like I feel like we're close. Don't want to use any more items. I think I got you guys on this one. I don't think this product is real, but I also don't think it would work. But like you could see how it could. Yeah, that's pretty good. I think this is a win. There's a world where like you're not going to take the opportunity to use something else. But I think he's I like the confidence. I feel like he knows he can he can make this work. He absolutely cannot. But I agree. I love to get into him. That's two points for Brad. Well done. We will not be this lean next time. He is in the lead with one point to our zero. Curtis, you don't need any new items. You're easy. That's right. I am facing a wolf howls nearby and keeps getting close. Okay, wait to see which one of yours you use. What are your items again? I've got a snow shovel and saw, which was also your mystery item. I've got a gravity fed water filtration system and a survival manual and field guide. So step one, we're going to look up what to do because I've got some time, right? He's howling. He's getting closer. He's not on my heels. He's not like charging like the moose was. I'm going to use that survival manual guide and I'm going to figure out what do you do with the wolf? Okay. And what it says, I'm just going to predict what it would say. It's very dog like a wolf. I feel like if I offer it really, you know, delicious, clean water that it can't get just at the stream or whatever, I think that's really going to win him over. I'm going to use my gravity. It's going to lap up that gravity. Oh, I can taste the gravity. Oh, I think that's what's happening. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's pretty close to enough. You're incredibly dead. You're incredibly dead. We don't even need to argue about this one. You're dead, Curtis. I'd throw this out there. You could use the snow saw that you poo-pooed earlier. Even if it was the best saw ever. You're so dead. All right. I mean, it drinks a little bit of water, then goes hunts here. It's now faster. You've made it more efficient. I feel like I should get some kind of consideration for having consulted a guide that told me this was a good idea. Nope. Sorry. Ryan, you've got a full tang survival knife and fire striker and an ice axe. What is your third item going to be? Are you going to tell us about the themes of the round? Are you going to reveal that after I choose my item every time? Oh, sorry. The next round will be injury and medical emergencies. Should I choose something from medical and emergency section that you have labeled? That would have been very helpful. I know. Seems like a good idea. Well, with that incredibly helpful information, I'm going to choose compact hatchet with a hammerhead. Okay. Ryan, you realize you're showing signs of hypothermia. Oh, no problem. I will bust out my full tang survival knife with a fire striker and create a fire and be fine. Okay. You get anything else? You don't think that's enough to solve hypothermia. Hypothermia? I think at that point you're a little bit beyond a little bit cold. I think hypothermia is like your body is shutting down from the cold. I don't think being near a fire is enough. I don't know. Okay. I also, you know, friction rubbed the survival knife on me. I don't know. What do you want? What do you mean? What else do you, what are you talking about? Brad, do you think this is working? Are you happy with just he makes a fire? No, it's not going to be enough. Absolutely not. What are you two talking about? Get the fuck out of here. You've got an ice axe and a compact hatchet and a lucky charm. All right. I'll pull on the lucky charm. I'll get a doctor. A doctor is interesting. A doctor would at least know how to solve him. I don't know if he's got the right equipment with him. I think you've got to trust the doctor. I'm on Ryan's side on this one. You've got to trust the doctor. Doctors are never wrong. Thank you, brother. I'll go along with that, Ryan. You've managed to survive this round. Well done. He gets one point. Because I'm not Brad. I don't get magic two points for no reason. You would have lost two points if you failed having the lucky charm. You could have conjured anything. You could have conjured a warm tent with a blanket in it. I feel like fire is way sufficient, but whatever. Okay. Brad, you've got a stormproof lighter with a butane wind resistant. Brad, do not use it to create a fire. You will get dinged. Repair tape, extreme temperature rated. And now you need a third item. A tourniquet and trauma dressing. You slip into the campfire and suffer severe burns. Jesus. Okay. So I am definitely using the tourniquet and trauma dressing. Yeah. That was a clutch move. He slips into the fire and gets severe burns. Where? On his person. I don't think it matters. A diamond tourniquet certainly not going to help if it's most of your body. That's why I'm having to use lucky charm to call EMS services to come and get me out of there. That feels like you've just pulled Harrison Ford. I don't, we can't, EMS can't get you out of there. Anything could be the lucky charm. I already let him use a doctor. I was more thinking like an item. Okay. But the doctor, the doctor didn't also have an ambulance with him. You can't just get him out of there. It is up to us to decide if he can get out of there. What exactly comes? Like a medic and a EMT. You're doing an and-out. Now you get one item. Well, you can't have two people in the car. You can't just have one. No, absolutely not. This is a one item situation. Oh, wait, but it is a car. You're saying a car, an ambulance. Yeah. Without any people in it, to be clear. I'll grant him an ambulance with an EMT. But here's the thing. Oh, okay. All right. Why don't you just make a whole fucking hospital be your lucky charm? What are you talking about? Well, this is the thing. Right. I still think he loses because in this case, he's conjured a vehicle in the middle of the woods. There's no way that's going to make its way out of the woods. Probably not. But you don't get, it's one item. You don't get to just be like, I guess, 600 items with it. No. See, Bags, you got to replace two items. I guess we've agreed he lost that one. And because he uses lucky charm, he loses two points. We haven't agreed on the rules, but we agree Brad died. Yeah. There was an argument on that one. Okay. What should I get? I have a snow shovel and saw. You know what? I'm going for the compact oxygen canister. And I'm going to go for the electrolyte hydration packs. Great. Because I've already used up my gravity fed water filtration system. You just want to make sure there's water involved. It's important. We have not talked about this enough on the podcast. If Curt goes four minutes at a restaurant without the waiter refilling his water, he's like, we need to leave. Okay. Okay. My scenario. I accidentally swallow river water and become violently ill. This is very plausible. Water got you. Oof. So on brand that you drank water to your death. I am going to use my lucky charm. I'm going to have emergency antibiotic on my person. And that is what I'm going to take. Wash it down with some hydration packs. I think that will, I mean, I'm going to be violently ill, but I've got electrolytes to keep me from any diarrhea that's happening. I'm going to be replenished of what the salts I need. So I think I'll be cured of my illness within a deck. I think Curtis, I think he survives. Yeah, you can have this one. Yeah. At one point. Now nobody has any lifelines. I still have the mystery box. Got it. The next round is severe weather and natural hazards. Ryan, you've got an ice axe and a compact hatchet with hammerhead. What would you like to add? A titanium multi-tool. So Ryan, you will face the temperature drops below zero and your gear is soaked. I don't know. I mean, I got an ice axe. All of your gear is just like weapons, but sure. No, that's a problem. It'll dry quick. All right. My wet ice axe is now more efficient than ever. I'm chopping down trees. Also pulling out the multi-tool, which has pliers, wire cutters, and et cetera, and firing through friction with that. You're creating fire through friction? Is that what you said? Oh, yeah. Okay. You know it. I mean, I got logs. I got friction. I got fire. We're set. This is no problem. Are you going to use your hatchet, too? Disuse all three? Oh, that would have been sent to my ice axe. Yeah, I was waiting for that. Um, no, unless you guys think the ice axe is insufficient. Then maybe I'll pull out my compact hatchet. Forgetting wood, an ice axe doesn't seem like the best tool. I don't think you're chopped down a tree very quickly with that. Why? It can chop ice. Why can't it chop wood? I guess I was picturing more of like a ice pick. Well, that's not what it says. It says the ice axe. Yeah, an ice axe looks much more like an ice pick. I googled it. It's more of like a sharp. It's not like it's not an axe in the way that like a hatchet is. Let me see what an ice axe looks like. This is who calls this an axe? Like, I mean, give me enough time. I'm chopping down a tree, you know, like it's not gonna be a problem. Well, you don't have enough time. It's freezing out and you're going to die. Can I can I pull out the compact hatchet just to calm me down? I think you need to. Okay, I will do that then. Brad, I think with the hatchet employed, I think he is able to get some fire going. I think this is plausible. Whereas before he had hypothermia, it was already too late. I feel like a fire will be enough to warm him if he's just, you know, it's just cold out. Look, he just used all three of his. He doesn't understand the whole point of the game that you're supposed to use the least amount. So we're going to give him the point just because I feel bad. Brad, you've got a potentially very useful stormproof lighter and repair tape. What is your third item? I'm going to go with the folding saw with the aggressive teeth. Okay. I really need that aggressive teeth. Brad, you're caught in a blizzard with no shelter nearby. Oof. I'm going to use the stormproof lighter just to, you know, start burning out that snow. Get my snow away so I can leave. I'm sorry, you're going to burn out that snow? Oh, yeah. And then I'm going to use the folding saw. Okay, this is where it's going to get a little weird. I'm going to use the folding saw to cut down trees to build me a shelter in the snow. I like that the first person to ever burn out snow and then say after it. It's going to get a little weird. I'm going to use my repair tape to make the shelter stronger. I'm going to pull Ryan and use all three. I like that he used all three. I mean, I think a shelter is the right move. I'm no confidence you have the ability to build one, but I think you've got the right tools to get you there. I could do it. I don't know. I think this might be a win for him. I'm fine with it. He burned out some snow. I mean, we can give it to him. I still have a snow shovel and saw. I have a compact oxygen canister for some reason. And I want a jet boil multi-fuel expedition stove. I don't know. What? What? It's basically a portable stove. What the fuck's a jet boil? It's going to boil water very quickly. Is that a thing? Believe it or not, I looked up most of these that I didn't know what they were to make sure they were things. And jet boil is a brand of a type of travel stove. You've run out of water options, so now you want to get food as quick as possible. What's your scenario? Lightning strikes a nearby tree and sets forest on fire. Okay. I am going to quickly use the snow shovel to dig a shallow hole that the fire can't cross. And then I'm going to put the compact air canister on top of the jet boil expedition stove. And I'm going to set that in one direction. So the fire's all going to go in that direction. I'm going to go in the other direction. You are an absolute psychopath. That is not how any of that works. I'm fighting fire with more fire. You tried to distract the fire. Hilarious. Shallow hole. Terrible move. Like deep, deep hole. Questionable. Shallow hole. Not effective at all. Creating extremely more fire and hoping that it goes in a different direction. Hilarious, but definitely dead. I mean, this is the worst job anyone's done. Minus three points. It's still only minus one. I assume, Brad, you're in concurrence with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I concede. Minus an extra one, though, for like making it way worse. The game works. So, Curtis, this is the last round and all three of us have to pick three new things. Correct. The last round is rescue and exit failures. I will take a micro crampon. I'll take an avalanche probe and beacon, I guess. And I will take a paracord of 100 feet with a reflective tracer. Ooh. And I don't know what that means. Do you want me to explain what these things are that you've flamed? Ah, that's all right. A fallen tree traps your vehicle on a remote dirt road. Uh, I'm sorry, what? This is where we're trying to get out of the woods. We're ready to leave. We're just trying to go home at this point. But a fallen tree has trapped your vehicle on a remote dirt road. How are you going to get home? I feel like this is so easy. Don't I just use my avalanche probe and beacon to get out? In what way? How does that help you? I would use the paracord, right? Why? Doesn't a beacon mean people can, like, detect me? Yes. Okay. I want them to detect me out of there. And that's all you want to do? I don't know. Why is that not enough? How is that not enough? I'm just asking. Sadly, I think it's enough, Curtis. I think it's enough. I think it's enough, yeah. Yeah. I mean, look, we all want to use the crampons. I just don't think it matters. Fair enough. Well done. Ryan, you are finishing at first place with three points. Let's see what we can do to catch up. Brad, you need three items. Obviously, I'm going with the multi-band radio. Yeah. Yep. I'm going for the negative 40 degrees Celsius down sleeping bag. And I'm going with the headlamp because I look so cool in it. Just to be clear, you've chose a sleeping bag that's incredibly cold. No, you have it in minus two weeks. It's just, like, so fucking cold. You cannot touch the sleeping bag. Oh, God, Ryan. It is going to keep you warm in negative 40 degrees. That's not what it says. That's not what it says. Okay. What's my scenario? Before you answer this, Brad wants to be a headlamp guy so bad. His final form would be headlamp. Nothing else needed. No clothes. Just a headlamp. Yeah. Your flare gun jams when you try to signal for help. I use the multi-band radio to put out a signal. Okay. Because I definitely know how to do that. And I wear the headlamp so I look cool. That's good enough for me. I mean, yeah, that would do it, if we're being honest. Obviously, you can't use the radio. But yeah, I think that's good. All right. I'm going to use the GPS satellite communicator. A topographic map set, laminated. Oh, that lamination got you. The night vision monocular. I was going to shout that out. Shout out to night vision monocular. A product that probably isn't real. But, like, sick. Great use of monocular. I don't know why you wouldn't just use regular night vision goggles. Only give me one sight. Bad news for me. I'm back in the wildfire. Oh, no. My car won't start when you try to escape a wildfire. At least you got a map to light it to make it worse. Well, Critic, you still have your mystery box. I was going to say, it's time to break out the mystery for sure. And what I have is, this should be helpful, chemical hand warmers. And you have to use it, right? Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm obviously going to use the chemical hand warmers to distract the fire. So that's done. Obviously, I'm going to turn on the GPS satellite communicator. Great, buddy. I mean, should we just cut you off? Or do you think you got this? I think you're dead, Curtis. All right. Sorry, what are you going to do with the communicator? I shouldn't have. You know what? I'm not using the communicator. I will leave it be. I'm just going to use the hand warmers to accelerate my death. I will breathe in the fumes of the chemical hand warmers as they burn. Use the night vision monocular to see how crazy a wildfire looks before you die. That's a horrible idea. The whole point of night vision is that it makes darkness bright. I'm going to burn my eyes out if I do that. You got about 10 minutes here, buddy. It's not going to matter. I will take the loss. I only lose one point for that. Correct. This kid's deranged. So here's where we're at. Brian at three points. Brad at one point. Me at negative two points. However, I use the fewest items, which is an automatic three point bonus. So I've tied with Brad for last place. Congratulations, Ryan. Well done. You don't like camping. You don't like ghost stories, but you are a survivor. The message we can take away is always go blue. Always go blue. Which won't make sense for anyone that's not looking at Curt's psychotic spreadsheet, but it's the lesson we've learned. Well, Ryan, what lessons might we learn next week when we cover the previous episode? It's season eight, episode nine, Fraser's Edge. Sorry, I have to get out of the rainbow spreadsheets. Fraser is near breaking point after an extremely tenuous trip to Cafe Nervosa. He considers finding a new hotspot until they bring in a caffeine ringer. I think we meet the, I think we meet the barista. I'd like to tell you about our new frozen coffee drink, the Caffalange. It comes in three flavors. Frosty coffee, so cocoa cold, and the nipple shot. Oh, that'd be fun. I like the barista. We all do. He's got a debut at some point, I think. The weird thing about this is, like, we won't know if he debuts. We may have already had our last time with him and not know it. We won't know it till the first episode, I guess. It felt like two seasons ago he debuted, yet he shows up all the time. That's the part. It's like, I thought we would be able to tell when a character is no longer going to be around because we will be introduced to them. But they absolutely introduced that barista, like, two seasons after he started being on the show. I think that's true with most characters. This barista guy is the only one we can't lock down. Well, that will do it for us. Thanks to Gavin McLeod for our theme music, and thank you for listening. I suppose you don't really care if this podcast is successful. You would never take five minutes out of your precious day to go to Apple Podcasts and leave us a review. You don't use Facebook, YouTube, or Instagram, or TikTok. You aren't curious what happens if you search for Reverse Psych Pod. Lord knows you can't be bothered to shoot us an email at reversepsychpod at gmail.com. For myself, for Ryan, and for Brad, bad morning nobody. Brad, I swear to God. I muted! I was, I unmuted myself. We can hear you mute for some reason. That's weird, because you don't usually can, but I had to mute. I'm sorry, say that sentence again one more time? I don't usually come, but whatever I just said. What? The way worse. Are you trying to have a golden moment on this podcast?