I'm Listening

Title: decorate or desecrate Activity premise: And that's Niles obsessing over an artiste to decorate his nursery. Activity request: Each of us is going to describe how we would decorate a new baby nursery. Rules: Then we will all vote on whether you've set up your child for a great future in a neatly adorned abode or preemptively ruined their lives and years of bad Frasier therapy with an ugly tacky shit that you slapped on the walls. Adjudication method: Well, as a group, we have to, we have to now decide what each one was. Winner statement: He wins the game. Competitive scoring statement: Points against. Activity description: Well, for our closing segment, I thought we would return once again to the deep A plot of this episode. And that's Niles obsessing over an artiste to decorate his nursery. Each of us is going to describe how we would decorate a new baby nursery. Then we will all vote on whether you've set up your child for a great future in a neatly adorned abode or preemptively ruined their lives and years of bad Frasier therapy with an ugly tacky shit that you slapped on the walls. We're calling it decorate or desecrate. Brad, would you like to go first? I was going to say, I assume I'm going last, right? I would hate to influence you guys with the correct answers. Wrestling. Tell me more. Because I want my kids to be tough. No, not why you're doing wrestling. Tell me how you're doing wrestling. Oh, pictures of famous wrestlers painted on the wall. You mean you're going to the doo-wop concert and you're getting someone to paint instead of clouds pro wrestlers? Like a hundred percent. Yes. All right. Give me a couple. Who are you putting on the wall? Hulk Hogan. Brother. Obviously. Lita. He's only a little racist. Lita. Much like you. Payback's a bitch. Obvious natural woman choice. A crime time. Because the one guy's dead. We like to make that money. Money. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. And Rikishi. Anybody get in my way? It's Rikishi time. Also dead. No. No, he's not. Isn't he? Oh, sorry. Nope. Stop. I mean, honestly, by the time this airs, he probably will be. Oh, God. We just murdered Samoan on our podcast break. I want you to know, Curtis, because you don't understand wrestling. Rikishi is famous for the, his finishing move is called the stink face. And it's where a very fat guy goes and puts his butt into another guy's face. That's his finishing move. So this ain't the time. This ain't the place. Get a piece of the quiche right in your face. And it's clearly not doing much damage. I guess the idea is just, it's so disgusting that the other person gives up. I mean, I can feel that. Yeah. I would have given up long before that moment, but sure. Not a submission maneuver though. He usually follows it up with a pin, which I think is a mistake. So it was just for, is there anything else to the theme? Yeah. So, so I can expand the, the, um, the crib is going to be shaped like obviously a wrestling ring with four quarters. Oh, that's good. I actually question. Is it going to be square? Yeah, it's going to be. Yeah, of course. Ooh. Points against. The closet will like have like the raw logo and the bathroom will be SmackDown. I'm sorry, the bathroom? Yeah. Your nursery comes with the bathroom? Well, you know, I'm going to be living in a, in a 10 bedroom house by then. And every room is going to have a bath. I love that you took this like, well, you have to make it realistic. So it's clearly not going to happen anytime soon. I'm also going to be rolling in it. Oh, clearly this is going to be the post-apocalyptic world where most humans are dead, but Bradley, the cockroach that he is has survived and he just wanders into a 10th century mansion and is building for no one a nursery because he's now got a Wilson volleyball that he's pretending to be a baby. And it's Brad painting the fucking wrestlers. Oh my God. Just stick figures that he's, he's got the belts around. Look, it's all Kogan. Brother. Oh my God. Curtis, how would you decorate your nursery? All right. For me, I do not have currently any children, but I do have nieces. And one of them a few years ago, which was very young, they asked her what her theme for her birthday would be. And she, with a big smile on her face said creepy things, which they eventually figured out meant she really likes like monsters and Yodas. For 800 years have I trained Jedi. And E.T. Extraterrestrial. And just like weird, creepy looking alien type things. Like she just really loves those things. And so my nursery, I'm getting a face from a boyfriend who is just like, what are you, what are you, where are you going with this? And my nursery, which I will say very loudly. Not the right direction. Not the right direction. I would, I would, I would make it a creepy thing. So we would just have like, uh, on the walls, you'd have, uh, paintings of, of monsters and aliens. Uh, you'd have a mobile, a mobile. What would you call that thing? That's over the crib. Oh, mobile. Yeah. Yeah. It would just be like insects and slugs and gross slimy things. Do you think aliens are, do you think aliens are creepy? I think, I think they can be. You're going to make sure that the creepy aliens. Yeah. Yeah. Only the creepy aliens. Got it. Yeah. Uh, yeah. And then, uh, when you turn the lights out, you know how like some rooms will have like those glow in the dark stars on the wall or the ceiling. Yeah. So, so this, instead of that, it'll be glow in the dark, just like terrific monsters. So it's not there when the lights are on. Yeah. Yeah. When the lights are on, you're safe. Just when dad leaves and the lights go out, that's when, that's when the monsters come. I, I, I, I could be wrong. I, again, don't have children. I think I've correctly interpreted what all children want based on one of my niece's offhand comments once in her life. Yeah. Yeah. I think you nailed it. Ryan. No spoilers. Ryan, what would you do? Yeah. Okay. Well, my theme is clarity. Turns out that babies don't know what they're doing and they don't care what you put on the walls. I'm just going to label fucking everything. That's not interesting. And in case you're wondering why you would label anything, it's because when you're up at 2am and you need something, it's very important. You can fucking find it. Or else your life is miserable. I really thought by clarity, you were going to say that it was going to be like a glass room with a glass, everything, which I realize now it's a terrible idea for a child, but for my band would. Oh, you can get into so many reasons why your guys' ideas are terrible. So I, but again, I would, I would forego any aesthetics because they're a baby. They don't care. I would just put labels every single place I possibly could on every single possible thing. And I would also make lanes so that you know where to go when it's 3am and you're bleary eyed. I would just write instructions on the floor because again, they're a baby. They don't need any themes. How do you tell what post-it notes? Would post-it notes play into this? It depends. As long as you're willing to get rid of them as they get older. Sure. I think that's the whole point of a post-it note. They're very easy to get rid of as they get older. That's right. I didn't dismiss it. I would use a full-blown label machine that you completely overwrite everything every three months. But post-it notes makes lots of sense too. Final phrase attribution: Who gives the prompt beginning “Each of us is going to describe how we would decorate a new baby nursery.”?: Curtis

Activity request: about some times where either of you have been dragged to something against your will. Activity description: Well, before we talk about this episode, I want to say that it involves Niles forcing himself and Daphne to go to a concert. Neither of them really wants to attend. And I'm curious to hear about some times where either of you have been dragged to something against your will. I can go first. Great. I wasn't dragged to it against my will, but I was held there against my will. Does that count? Sounds like prison, but sure. Oh my God. Prison would have been so much nicer. This is my only time going to the drive-in movie theater. I don't even think I knew what was happening. I just went with my friends. They're like, let's go watch a movie. I'm like, great. Then we showed up to an outdoor area. It's like, this isn't what a movie is. And they go, yeah, it is. It's the drive-in. I was like, well, this isn't the four days. Yeah. Well, I didn't know what we were doing. Right. And the first movie was wanted. I don't know if you guys remember that. It's where, uh, Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman could bend bullets for some reason. Oh yeah. I, I, I saw the trailer for that. It was fine. You know, like it could have been much worse. It could have been a lot better, but whatever. Uh, I was down. And then, uh, the second movie, which I found out like, after wanted was over, it was the happening. I don't know if you guys have had the displeasure of watching this movie. Hey, I've also not seen that, but I've, I've read about it. Is that the M night Shyamalan movie that is about plants? Uh huh. Uh huh. So as soon as like, as soon as the title card comes up, I, I was furious because I'd seen trailers and it looked like the worst movie ever. And spoiler alert, it's the worst goddamn movie ever. The entire time. I think it was like a two hour feature. I was ranting the, I don't think I stopped talking. I was so mad. I was like, we should just leave. I tried to get, I think 10 people to go with me and none of them were biting. They were just listening to me rant the entire time. I have never had a good experience in a drive-in movie. Same. Cause that was my only one. And I know people that swear by them. It's like their favorite way to see a movie. I don't get it. It's, it's just a bad way to see a movie. It was the best way to see the happening. Cause if I wasn't allowed to talk during that fucking garbage movie, Oh my, I'm going to have exploded. That's fair. I've never ranted like that in my life before. And it was a, honestly, it was kind of nice at the end. I was like, Oh, it turns out I can rant for two hours straight. No problem. Well, Brad, I, I am confident that you have held people against your will, but what, what have you been forced to do something against your will? Yeah. Oddly enough, it doesn't happen often to me because I like doing most things. Cause I, I just, you're usually the problem, right? Exactly. But I have a, I have a fairly good example. It's also one of those stories that does not make me look good in any way. You don't have any stories that make you look good. No, when I was, when I was 20, I had to go to, I was hoping this was going to be your buddy's weather. No God. Although my buddy was in this story a little bit when I was 20, I had to go to my brother's like senior award ceremony and I didn't mind going, but the problem is the night before I went to this bar that you only had to be 18 to go to and they get it card anyone. So we all got really, really drunk and I was like 20. So I didn't really understand that. And at this award ceremony, I was so hung over, but I couldn't say anything because if I told my parents, they would know I got real drunk the night before and I wasn't 21. So I just had to sit in this auditorium, super hung over and super miserable the whole time pretending like I was okay. How do you, how does Brad K pretend he's okay? I just go talk and I just smile. Everyone would have known that you're, you're having trouble if that's the case. I just smile. You're not talking is a very bad sign. I know, right? I'm seeing you not okay. You talked. All right, Curtis, how about you? How are you, how are you held against your will or probably your own stupid idea that you kept going through with? You're, you're much closer to my story than you know. So when I was, when I was a little kid, there was this museum near our house called Inventure Place. It was technically the Inventor's Hall of Fame. Oh, wait, what did you say? Invent, say that again? Inventure Place, not Adventure. My brain, not a correct name. Yeah, it was the Inventor's Hall of Fame and the top floor was really boring. It was just like a series of portraits of like Thomas Edison or whatever. How many floors were there? I don't know. I was a child. But downstairs was actually pretty cool. It was, it was a bunch of interactive, like, like a playground of goofy inventions you could play with as a kid. And the thing I remember most was it had a harp that you could play, but the harp was not with strings. It was a laser. So you would just run your hand through these lasers and it would make harp sounds. Sweet. Laser harp. I'm in. Really cool. So anyway, the story is my, my mom told me, you know, we're going to go, we're going to go to Inventure Place. And I threw a fucking Inventure. Yeah. You said Adventure. I did not. We definitely did. We went to Inventure Place. Time out, time out. Be honest. Did you really go here or did you go to Bible Land? This sounds like you went to Bible Land. I don't know what Bible Land is. What are you talking about? It's an amusement park for Christians. Yeah. It's a real place? Yeah. Yeah. In Florida. Bible Land. I've never heard of that. That's the first future episode where the three of us take a trip to Bible Land. We've talked about my mom on the show and just to be clear, she, and she also listens. So she's going to hear this. There is no world in which she takes me or anyone else, certainly not herself, to Bible Land. Okay. Good news. Good news. I think you can't be a California. I'm sure it'll be nice this time of year. Well, anyway, Inventure Place was cool. Not as boring as I assume Bible Land is, but I threw a fit. Like I was just like unbelievable. I was just unbelievably angry at the prospect of having to go to this place. I was so mad about it. And my mom just kept pleading with me like, you like it. Like it's fun. Like it's a cool thing that you, I know you like, like, what is the problem? And I was just miserable and such a little shit about it. And as soon as we got there, it was the best day. It was so much fun. I was so happy. It was such a cool place. This was not your first time going to it? No, I had been probably multiple times and always loved it and always had fun. And for some reason, I was in one of those little kid moods where the minute she said, I was like, I don't want to do that. Why are you making me do that? I don't want to do that. And I was so angry about it until we got there. And then I was fine. So the lesson is children are the worst. Oh, we know why you were hungry. I might've been hungry. That's how you get when you're hungry. You're definitely hungry. Very plausible. Final phrase attribution: Who gives the prompt beginning “about some times where either of you have been dragged to something against your will.”?: Curtis