Star Mitzvah

Context outside the activity. Segment type: introductions and non activity discussion Reviewed full source context: Welcome to Reverse Psychology, the Frasier Rewatch podcast where we go backwards through every episode of the show. Tonight, we're covering Season 10, Episode 6, Star Mitzvah, which originally aired on November 5th, 2002, in the year of Brad the Bar Mitzvah. Is this when boys become men and men become wolves? We'll find out. I'm your host, Curtis Shack. Joining me as always, it's a resident Upside Downer, it's Ryan. Curtis, we got a bar mitzvah in the year of Brad's bar mitzvah. What is the chances? This is crazy. I'm so excited. Brad, I will. That was not me. That was not me. That was definitely you, Brad. That was not me. I promise you it was not me. We know your stupid sounds. I promise you it was not me. Kenny, is there any chance it was you or was that definitely Brad? I think it was definitely Brad. Yep. It wasn't me. Brad, buddy. Not tonight. Also with us today is our son of commandment. It's Bradley Kirkston. Happy bar mitzvah to you. Happy bar mitzvah to you. Just okay. That's a two-liner. Everyone knows that. No. So I just want to say happy bar mitzvah to all of you. This is a bar mitzvah themed episode and one, one, one quick disclaimer for all of our listeners who have complained. Are you going to come out finally as Jewish? Well, kind of. Yes. That would actually make sense for this bit. But for all of our listeners who complained that some episodes I talk too much about myself, this is not the episode for you because there's going to be a lot of Brad and a lot of me talking about Brad. This is going to be a Brad heavy episode. I think just if you guys feel like passing on it, we will understand. Yeah. Yeah. There's going to be a disclaimer on this episode wording lots of Brad talk. This is the disclaimer, but whatever. Sometimes needed a little acid to cut the sugar. And tonight we've got a little acid to cut the Brad. Well, Jewish boys become men at the age of 13. Men obsessed with Star Trek are arguably still boys. And joining us today is one such man boy nerd. It's my unpublished brother, Kenny Shaq. Hello. Is that complimentary enough? That was great. Curtis is so proud of that intro. He probably spent such a long time and looking at it and being so proud of himself, but I could tell when he delivered that thing, boy, did all of his dreams just come true. I'd love, I'd love to make fun of you more for that, Curt, but it's one of your better efforts. Uh, Kenny, did, did, did Curtis say you're on acid tonight? That's pretty cool. That's, I heard that too. And I thought, I don't remember taking it. Did we all agree to do acid? No, no, he didn't say he was on acid. He compared Kenny to acid. Yes. Oh, no, he said, yes. Kenny brought acid. Yes. Yes. I drug acid. I don't remember it, but that might be just part of the trip. It's like one of those who any of you are. What is this? You are what you eat or whatever. So good on you. But how are you today, Kenny? Oh, I'm just fine. How are you guys? Not tripping through space. So it could be better. Wasn't warned ahead of time. I'm not making sounds on my laptop or anything. So I'm doing well. He just did. Okay. That was a joke. Now I did on purpose. Okay. I'm not that. I'm a little funny. Do not make jokes. You can't do that. You don't know what they are. Don't do them. I remember the topic I thought we might discuss. I swear to fucking God. Did you hear it again? Yeah, I heard it again. I was talking. So I was going to listen to myself. This is coming out in a few weeks. So this will be a little bit old news. But as of this recording, they have officially announced a new season. Season two of new reboot. Frasier is coming out. I think you can just call it. I don't think you have to call it reboot. I don't I don't know what to call it. To be honest, I was like Frasier 2023. But now it's gonna be 2025. I don't know when it's coming out. I'm so excited. I'm so excited to finally get to be on another show. This is huge for me. Kenny, I wanted to ask you. We you know, me and Ryan have watched season one. I don't know if you've watched all of season one. And if you did what you thought of it. But I wanted to without any spoilers, just ask you a little bit about your thoughts on the reboot. So my thoughts are this. I thought interesting. They're doing a reboot. Maybe it's cool. He's in Boston. Then I saw a trailer. And so I haven't watched it. Okay, because it looks terrible. And then all I heard from our mother was it's not great. Your mom fucking hates it. We were on our way to our other brother's wedding. And we're in a hotel. And she was just like, Yeah, it's bad. It's really bad. And I was like, Okay, I kind of put off watching it. And then the only real information I have of it is I listened to the one episode of this podcast, where you and Ryan talked with my mom about it, because I thought, Well, mom, I better chime in and see what she's got to say, you know, you're willing to support your mom. Yeah, I'm only I only supported my mom. It is fair. It is her show after all. So fair. Yes. I mean, yeah. I don't know. I haven't watched it. I don't know if I will or not. I debated because I haven't listened to most of the episodes that you guys have done about it. You could jump into the upside down with us. Just do a random one. I was debating actually watching it to kind of glisten along with you guys. And I just haven't because I got better things to do than Frazier, I guess. Unlike you guys. The fact that they're getting a second season in still any confidence in you that there's something to the revival. Not really. Everything gets a second season. All sorts of crap gets second season. As long as it's not on Netflix. Well, Fuller House got a second season on Netflix. Oh, boy. So I don't know. Fuller House went like seven seasons or something crazy. It did go a long time. It did really? Yeah. Yeah, something. I was just looking it up the other day, actually, and it went like a crazy amount. That's weird. It looked awful. But then again, the original Full House is terrible. You got it, dude. On a side note, I just changed my setup. So let me know if you hear it again. If you don't hear it this time, I'll do it like this going forward. Okay. There were so many episodes that whatever. Fuller House does suck, but it's harder to tell if Full House would have sucked if I was just older. You know? I think Full House would have sucked. Jesus Christ, brat. I don't understand. Yeah, but that happened immediately. This might be your worst night in terms of this. This is as bad as that one night. It's the charger dying. I just ordered a new charger online. What do you mean? That's what I was doing. What are you talking? Why do you mean the charger's dying? It's the charger's dying, so it goes in and out. So I just got a new charger. Do you mean the cord? I think he made it as a cord. Correct. Wasn't that the thing you blamed months and months and months ago? That it was a bad charger? Why didn't you replace it then? I got a new charger. What are you chewing on the chargers? What is happening? Actually, none, Brad, probably. Yes. Yes, I am. You know he does whatever he does to it. He messes with it actively. Always. Yeah, that crazy energy. So I'm trying to mute myself, but I'm not talking. Okay, how about just go onto your phone? Does that never occur to you? When I did do it on my phone, you guys said you couldn't hear me well. That's why. Were you on also headphones? Because I don't believe anything. I don't have the cord to the headphones. What? I don't have the headphones that came with it, like you guys were saying. I don't have the cord to the headphones. You just cut the cord off. They're not wireless. You just cut off. I get what you're laughing at. I don't have the headphones. He's got earpods, not airpods. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Okay, well, all right. You're a nightmare. For our listening audience, while the new season of Frasier is going to be coming out at some unknown date, I think we are confident that at the very least, we are going to be revisiting season one of Frasier at some point in the foreseeable future, definitely before that second season comes out. No official plans yet, but stay tuned for that. Classic almost announcement out of Curtis. I love giving a non-announcement announcement. You might get to see me come out of the upside down. I think you'll enter into the upside down. I don't think you're actually in the upside down yet, right? You're just having to watch the episodes. Yeah, you're not in the upside down. That's true. You're not like suspended in the upside down or something. I'm in purgatory? Is that where I am right now? No, you're like standing in that room where they have like the weird doorway to the upside down. You're like standing in that room with like the suit on and the cord, and you're just like waiting for the go-ahead to like enter. But I'm chewing on the cord, right? I'm chewing on the cord. Honestly, what are your better efforts? I forgive all of the nonsense this episode for that. It means you guys can keep so much of that in, though. It's even more annoying. Like I'd be able to edit around all those beats. Why is your best joke about you being incompetent? Fraser is incompetent at Hebrew. Should we discuss that in this episode? Oh, yeah. You know I love talking about Hebrew. Oh, yeah. Woo, let's do it. Are you literally jacking up right now? What the fuck? I was about to just say, what is he doing? I gotta leave this podcast. If he's gonna start beating off the Hebrew, I gotta go. There was strong, strong beat-off energy in there. There was a lot of movement. This guy's excited to talk about Hebrew. Let's do it. You did not assuage any of our concerns about what you're doing. I had beaten off the Hebrew sounds like an album or something, right? Yeah, it's a Beastie Boys album. Yeah, definitely. They are Jewish, so it's okay. Oh, good. I didn't know that. Yeah.

Segment type: episode recap discussion and personal recollections Context outside the activity. Reviewed full source context: We open with a dirigible over Seattle. Lilith is doting on Freddie in anticipation of his bar mitzvah. He has invited everyone he has ever heard of, including the KACL crew. Freddie and Lilith returning to our screens. I've always wanted to make love with an alien. That is so God. Is this the same Freddie we saw before, actor-wise? It didn't really look like it. This is the same Freddie. Yeah, it's the same one. And do not answer this, because I don't know the answer. But from what I understand, it's not the same Freddie in the new Fraser. And that's upsetting, because I like this Freddie. Well, we're not going to... We won't answer that, I guess. I thought it was interesting that Lilith... She was keeping on Freddie being like, this guy's a nerd. Why are you inviting him? I thought that was interesting. Well, Lilith historically hates nerds. Nerds! She's kind of a jock bully, if you think about it. I don't know if we're making jokes. Is this Cheers we're talking about? No, I mean, she's pretty much the queen of nerds. Right, right. But I don't know if you're being ironic or not. I don't remember Cheers enough. I think she has that Fraser mentality, where they don't realize who they actually are. Their self-awareness is a little lost on themselves. So she doesn't see herself as a big nerd. Also, we're going to see later in this episode how Fraser reacts to the Star Trek nerddom of Noel. So I think she is a nerd in a lot of academic ways. I can't wait to learn. I don't think she is a sci-fi person. I don't think she's a fantasy person. So I think that her kind of opposition to that kind of nerd is organic. Well, I mean, to be fair, she says you said he was a nerd and you didn't like him. So she was pointing out, like, why are you inviting a kid you clearly don't like? Well, he was doing that because, like me, he was smart and just invited anybody he could think of because he wanted that money. The only thing that confused me about how we had him inviting, like, everybody at KACL, including people we've never talked to before. Right. I don't get how he would have gotten their contact. How does he know who they are to send them an invite? The joke's funny, but I was going, I don't understand how this kid got the address book of everybody who works at that building. Oh, I have a theory. Can I tell you my theory? Yeah, obviously. No, that's this is not a podcast where you share your thoughts and ideas. No, my theories, not my thoughts and ideas. My theories. Oh, then you can give us those. Great. Is that he's in Kalut's with Roz and Roz is going to get a percent of all the money he makes from his bar mitzvah. Even Kalut's? Doesn't even make sense for this episode. She acts like super surprised that she gets an invite. Right. That's the whole point. We'll get to that later. It goes with the theory. It goes with, you know, it's all up and up. They're sneaking around. What? Wait, wait. What are you accusing Roz of doing? No. Roz is giving him all of the addresses and then they're splitting the money in the bar mitzvah. I think I'm going to basically disregard what Brad's saying because it's nonsense. I think if you're going to just try to like show candidate, we see Frazier's able to do some like hyper excellent research somehow. I'm guessing Freddy's just kind of genetically got some of that. Doesn't really make sense tech wise how he could get that info, but. In 2002? Right. Yeah. He would have had a really hard time on the internet giving that in 2002. It would have been tough then, but apparently he's a master at it. Oh, wait, wait. We're overthinking this. He probably just made it to the radio station. Maybe. Yeah. But how did you know all those people that work in the radio station? Yeah. They seem like they got personalized in. Right. Not just to whom it makes sense. You don't think Frazier comes home and talks about all of his coworkers that we've never seen. He doesn't do it to any of the characters we see. So speaking of that, I thought this joke was pretty like pretty mundane, pretty run of the mill. I did. Did like it when the random guy in the hallway does. Oh, Frazier. Mazel tov. Yeah. The one good one good part of this whole bit. Yeah. Totally. At work, Frazier plans to learn a blessing to Freddie in Hebrew. Noel offers to teach him in exchange for an autographed signature of Scott Bakula. Of course Noel knows Hebrew. They never said he was Jewish, but I'm just going to assume Noel's Jewish. It'd be awfully strange if he wasn't at this point. Yeah, I know, right? Oh, disagree. Why? He's not Klingon. He clearly learned that. It's a good point. It's the fastest growing language. He could just be a language aficionado. So this scene opens up with an early super weird dick joke. This is my son, Russ. The little bald candy man that used to fit right here in the crook of my arm. Little bald candy man. That's adorable. I had a boyfriend who called him. I think it's a dick joke. Yeah. Yeah. I also assumed it was a dick joke. Really strange. It's a weird nickname. It didn't make sense why he said it for Freddie. And it doesn't really make sense why he'd say it for a dick joke. It's like somebody in the writer's room is like, okay, here's what we need to do. Come up with a nickname that would work both as a child's name for your son and a penis. And they were just like, well, we came up with bald little candy man. Is that a thing? Close enough. Good enough. Jerry came up with bald little candy man six weeks ago. We got this in the bag. I agree with Kenny. I think they'd be very excited about it. They probably thought it was a genius line. They've been waiting episodes for this. We've been sitting on this bald little candy man. Really think that season needs a Freddie episode. Yeah. It was so stupid and so weird. Yeah. Just shockingly inappropriate. Out of Roz, who, you know, she's, again, like, she's not like the most cagey with adult humor. But like, this is a different level. You're definitely not something you do. She had the good sense to cut herself off. So who knows? Maybe we're completely misinterpreting this. I don't think we are. If only the writers had the good sense to cut themselves off. So that bit was stupid. I did love when Noel does show up. And she goes, I've asked you to take your hands out of your pockets when you talk to me. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Another really wild line. I did like that bit. The only thing I don't like about this ongoing joke with Noel that he's like creeping on Roz is that it is like it's a workplace situation. And so it just feels like he's a super creep. And like there's no HR rep going around like saying, stop, stop. This happens in some places. That's like to act like no places do that would be. I'm not even saying that it's unrealistic. I'm just saying it's upsetting. And I also don't know if they would do a scene like that in today's world without having like a disclaimer. I don't think they would for sure. Yeah. I don't think they would. A disclaimer. I don't want to add a disclaimer. They start the episode with Perry Gilpin just as herself going, okay, we're going to talk about some serious issues. Yes. You described Brad's dream. Yes. You know, I love a good disclaimer. Yeah. You're insane. But anyway, I will say that this is not what I thought Noel's character was leading into this episode. This is by far the most FaceTime we get with him. And it's just a totally different vibe than I thought he was giving off in previous episodes. What was the vibe you were feeling? Well, obviously creep. But I thought he was like geekier and weirder this episode than I thought he was going to be. Oh, I thought you were about to say the opposite. Okay. That makes a lot more sense. How could he be more geeky and weird perhaps in this episode? What was geeky and weird about him on this episode? Please. Marty has dug up his Schmierblatt 68K to take photos at the bar mitzvah. Unfortunately, the flash blinds everyone. Fraser makes plans to attend a luncheon, dooming his opportunity to get a bacula. Daphne and we learn that Niles slept with Lola. A lot to talk about in this episode. Yeah. But also this scene. And the scene. Thank you. Did they have to give the camera such a Jewish name? I've wondered about that too. Schmierblatt 3000? I mean, I gotta say, I thought German and then they said Russian. There's Russian Jews. We know this. There are Russian Jews. We kind of know one. Don't they make a comment about it's not just Russian, but like basically Soviet era? Yeah. Why would a cop in America get a Soviet camera? That's so strange. It's very weird. What are you talking about? This is a cop in America who loves assaulting America's populace. He bought it to assault people. Kenny, I'm sure you know this because you listen to every episode and you love this podcast. Right, right. But Ryan hates Marty. Like outrageously hates Marty. I don't understand. We're still at a point where I don't understand why you all don't hate him. I don't get the bit you guys are doing. That's not a joke. It makes no sense. Kenny, we've had some some folks on who guests who are quite fond of Marty and are confronted by Ryan's opinion. I'm curious your take. Do you feel like Ryan is way out of line or are you kind of in agreement? What do you think about Marty? I liked him when I watched the show. I haven't watched it truly in a long enough time to really, you know, stay one way or the other. But I would say that it does seem like in these later season episodes, he's not great. And so I can see Ryan's point of view. He's getting a bad first impression. It's weird that they ended the series with him making weird comments about Daphne's tits. So yeah, that that is our help. Never helped. But we're like we're like four or five episodes away from him saying how much he loves squashing protests. Yeah, you're right. You are right. Sherry made an appearance for it's been a while since we've had. I know. I'm excited to see some Sherry. I'm in a Sherry mood tonight. I wonder if that's hospital related. Like we kind of take a break from it for a while. Oh, maybe. Well, the show actually thinking through something. That'd be that'd be a new one. I don't know. I mean, it's been a while since they've done it. They do make sense. Well, actually, I was going to say they make such a big deal about his diet being a factor that it would make sense that they would cut back on those references. But didn't Frazier insinuate that red wine is good for combating a hard condition? He did. Yeah. I don't think Sherry counts as red wine. I know the Sherry that I bought when we did our episode with Sherry. It was really a red color. It was like a deep red. Well, did anybody have a white Sherry? Is white Sherry a thing? I'm not going to lie. I didn't really like study it. No, mine is red, but I know nothing. I would have guessed it was a pinkish hue, maybe. Okay. That's fair. That's fair. Ever heard Sherry, Kenny? No, I've never heard Sherry. Don't know anything about it. Great. That's my input. So you hate Frazier is what I'm hearing. Yeah, I hate Frazier because I've never heard Sherry. How did you watch the Christmas episodes every year? What? I don't know. I don't either. I don't know if you thought this, Ryan, but I certainly thought it was a bombshell that Nile suffered low off. Obviously, that's a bombshell. They actually do a lot of logistics in this episode. We get like one every six episodes at this point where it's like, oh, let's lay out a bunch of things that happened in a bunch of previous seasons. Super helpful. I love logistics. So that's a big, I'm a big fan of that. For the upside down, it's amazing. Yeah, obviously I freaked the fuck out. Like when Daphne's asking, what does that mean? I also was going, what are we talking about? That's a fun bit of business. That's one of the great advantages of the upside down for you to have that feeling in that moment. I think the only thing is like I can genuinely say she had too muted of a reaction because my notes are like freaking out. I'm like, what the hell's going on here? And they also throw in a reference earlier in the scene to some old flame of his that he'd never mentioned to her. Yes. Yeah, they set that up kind of nice. I think at that moment she is a little bit in shock. She's muted because she has gone cold. Well, it's also Lilith, which makes everything cold. Well, we've also seen like Daphne isn't the one to blow up right away. She, based on the last couple episodes, she's more likely to hold it in, stay relatively calm and then blow the fuck up later. Like I'm sure you got Halt and Fontana, they were just had a big fight. What was the first reference? Because she does handle that one well. It was like a prom date. Yeah. Prom date because of the camera. Yeah, yeah. I thought it was more, I thought it was something more than that. There was a third one, but the first one was the junior prom date. Yeah, right. Well, because after Daphne, they did the whole thing where they're like, all right, is there anyone else regular that we see? And Frasier does the great, I wouldn't call it regular, but it's the girl from the science museum. I'm like, what? I said, I wouldn't call it regular. I said. Oh, and then he does his bit where he just takes another photo so he can run away. Yeah. Flash Tom. I literally just abandoned his own home because he didn't like what happened. I said, I will leave my house. I thought this was, no, he didn't leave. He sprinted out. But I thought this was the most defensible Frasier's been in a while. If I stepped in it like that, I would also trigger that day. I'd have to sprint out of there. I said, some more upside down stuff though. She comments that we see Lilith on a regular basis, which is really interesting because right now we're, I wouldn't call how much we've seen her regular. Ryan, I was going to ask you, how many episodes have you seen a four? We've seen Lilith in three episodes. Is it the third in your upside down? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Cause we do a sign off every season with her. So I don't know what the, it was weird that we saw her again. And it's really weird to be like, oh, I see. It's really weird for Daphne to say she sees her regularly. And then obviously it's extremely weird to find out Niall slept with her. Is once a year regular? I don't think so. I have to assume we're going to the science museum once a year. You've also got to assume, well, I guess you don't, but it'd be nice to assume that Frazier sees his son more than once a year. And that's Freddie. Like maybe they're coming to Seattle more often than they show in the show. That's another interesting one, right? Cause the Freddie episode was this season, wasn't it? No, it was last season. No, the Freddie Gath one was last season. Yeah. That's Christmas. All right. I just made the connection. So the, the time that we saw Lilith last, she was like gung ho for a child. Yeah. And in this episode we're seeing, she's like super upset that her baby is growing up. Well, her baby is becoming a Jewish man. That's something we're going to talk about later, but becoming a Jewish man. I'm saying correct it. You're hitting weird notes. You're emphasizing weird, weird words. There was two, two moments early in the scene that are maybe of note. I love that Frazier's laying out to Niles, like what he's got to do for Noel. And he's like, in his head, he's like, you know what? Maybe, maybe I can make all three things. And Niles having no idea what any of the stuff is, is like, yeah, of course you can make all three things. You're talking about the luncheon and the museum thing, and then going to the Star Trek dimension. Right. Yeah. He makes a classic mistake, a sitcom mistake of assuming he can have it all and do all the things he needs to do. And he's not going to overextend himself. And of course he does. That's fine for Frazier to do, but it's really funny for him to take it to Niles. And Niles has no idea what he's promised to Noel, and that never comes up. And he's just like, yeah, of course you can do all three. And Niles is the one who says, you should come do this thing. And Frazier's like, I wish I could, but I've got this other commitment. And without knowing any of the logistics or the details, I think Niles just says, why don't you just do it anyway and hope that you can make it work? I'm sure it'll be fine. No, he gives him like a strong, positive affirmation. We're like, yeah, of course you can hit all three events. Why wouldn't you be able to? And he never shares that it's a Star Trek convention or where it's at or any of the details. Yeah, it's weird. It's funny. It's very, it's very crane-like where he's just like, yeah, of course you're, you're Frazier. Of course you can make all the events. Nothing ever goes wrong in your life. You can assume that Niles doesn't actually care if he succeeds at doing the things he committed to doing. He just wants his brother to go with him to this event. Dead on. Right. He doesn't give him a fuck. And then there's, then there's all the data stuff. Data. What? My name. It is pronounced data. Which I don't is, I didn't know if that was actually a smart person reference or they were just like kind of cheating it like they've done in the past. I think that might've been real. It sounded real. It had the cadence of something that was true. Usually does though, doesn't it? Yeah. Weren't you burnt once on that already? Over and over again. Yeah. Yeah. You should know to check that. Well, we do extensive research on this show. So I feel confident in saying that we, we, inconclusive. Are you guys questioning whether Dada is like a art thing? Oh, I can confirm. It absolutely is an art thing because I learned about it in film school. What's, so what's Dada art? Data is my name. Data is not. It was like a French surrealist art movement. Like I think Dolly was part of it. Like there was some guy, he like took a version of the Mona Lisa and he just drew a mustache on her and they're like, it's art. It's just that kind of stuff. Now I a hundred percent understand. Thank you, Kenny. Now I really get it. It's just drawing mustaches on women. Yeah. I wish I was an artist. That one feels a little easy. Look, I know what Curtis says to me all the time. Like he's really impressed by my artwork. So maybe I should just become a professional artist. You should become a professional Dada artist. Oh yeah, yeah. Brandon the Dada. That's what we'll call me. Brandon the Dada. Noel learns Frasier has denied him a bacula and vows his revenge by the rings of Siptarus V. Of course, no such planet exists in the Star Trek universe unless he was thinking of Pantarus V, an M-class planet with a Silenite mining settlement. God, Curtis, you're really outdoing yourself on this one. You just have to let Kenny and Curtis get their shit out of the window. I was going to say, they won't make the pod, but like let them do whatever they have to talk about. He's really trying to impress his brother on this one. This is great. You guys take 30 minutes. Maybe I don't come back. What's really sad about that is I don't know if Curt's accurate. But the only thing I know is that when Noel made the reference to some planet, I said, that's some fake Trek bullshit. That's not anything. Oh, fake news. Interesting. It didn't seem quite right. And so I Googled it, got nowhere. But then I went to the chat GPT and I said, I asked them, is this a thing? And it said, there is no such planet in Star Trek. And so then I just asked it for one that sounded similar. I don't think chat GPT is a Google engine. I don't think you're supposed to take it on face value. There's absolutely cause to believe all of what I said is inaccurate, but I'm fine with that. All right. Great. I'm happy for both of you. So the voice Noel's using when he's talking to the scene is super weird. Like even for like a geeky nerd, it's like, I found it very annoying, very grating and a little disingenuous. I found it incredibly creepy and inappropriate. In my notes, it just says, Noel gives Trekkies a bad name. Truly. I don't know if he does. He's making us look bad. Well, I think we glossed past it, but he does explain why he can't get the autograph himself, which is that he has a restraining order from William Shatner. It doesn't fully explain it. Cause you know, we don't know. He's not going for William Shatner. So I don't know why that's a problem. He said all of the Star Trek captains were together and Bakula is the new one and he needed him. Oh, that does help. So some of us don't know what you guys are talking about ever. Well, he said all the captains are together and that, but he needs to get Bakula. That's what he said at the beginning. Look, man, I tried real hard. I got, I got lost in it. All right. I got lost in the Trek world. Yeah. Yeah. I'm right there with you. Is Scott Bakula a captain? I didn't know that. You have no idea how much I'm restraining myself from knocking you on your ass. He was a Star Trek captain. He was in the show that was new when that episode aired. Which was what? Star Trek Enterprise. Isn't that the other ones? Three of them have Enterprises in it. So you're telling me that's not the Picard one? No, that one was the next generation. Oh goodness. Yes. God, we really. I sound insane. They all drive the Enterprise, right? Or pilots. They all drive the Enterprise. That's their ship, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's the ship. I now don't know if you're mocking, yes, anding me, or if you're just answering genuinely. I'm answering genuinely. But yeah, that's the ship. That they drive. They drove it in space. I just don't know. I still can't tell if you're talking down to me or not. My favorite Star Trek movie is Star Trek Tokyo Drift. Steve, we're talking Fast and Furious. I'm comfortable. We can chat. I know that Scott Bakula didn't pilot shit in the Fast and Furious movie. Yet. Yet. I haven't even seen the last one. I love those jokes. That's our next podcast. It generally might be. That was the pitch for this podcast, was to do the Fast and Furious movies. Truly. Why we're doing this now, who knows? So we bastardized it. The line between Fast and the Furious movies to Frasier. It's way too close. It's a straight line, but it does go through Star Trek. Jumps through the next generation. I loved Frasier's hang up when Noel says clan, which I also don't know what he's referring to. Good. My clan. Your clan. That is that thing Frasier does where he's got a full head of steam. And then like two sentences in, he gets caught up on what the person said. He finally hears what the person said. He's like, Quinn? I'm sorry. Okay. There's no time. I'm sorry. We'll deal with that later. That is fun. I also. It's interesting that Noel is not more like visibly offended in the moment. Like he really holds back because Frasier is basically like insulting him and everything he loves. Like we all agree that Noel's a weirdo, but Noel presumably likes his life. And Frasier's just like, maybe you should give up on this thing you clearly care so much about and just move on. You're a child. The way Frasier talks to Noel is how I've talked to Brad most days. One thing I know about Kelsey Grammar is he's actually a huge Star Trek fan. And so I think he's talking to himself here. He wanted. He needs to give this up. I actually did not know that. That's interesting information. I wouldn't have guessed that from this either. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. I have another fun fact about it. Oh. Well, hey, that's. Here's something I find very weird and interesting, but they did a weird, horrible Star Trek 30th anniversary thing. It was awful. Oh. And they had all these people on a stage and they did a sketch. It was a Star Trek sketch starring the cast of Frasier. What? And it makes no sense. It's a weird thing. You can find it on YouTube. It makes no sense. It's not funny. If you're a Star Trek fan or not, it's not funny. But they've got the cast of Frasier. How do you know if it's not funny if you're not a Star Trek fan? Because you can't speak to that. Well, okay. You guys can find it and you can tell me, is it funny? I'm going to guess it's not. I'm going to pitch that we should wait until we would reach when, like whenever it would have been released in real time. 1996. We should wait until we get there. Yeah. This is the other fun fact about that thing is that the only person not in it is Kelsey Grammer. And the reason was because that very same month, Kelsey Grammer had drunk and drive, crashed a car, and was currently at the Betty Ford Center when they did that sketch. And I just think that's hilarious. I'm going to say that's a half fun fact. I just think it's funny that the entire cast got forced to do this sketch probably because Kelsey Grammer wanted to and then he couldn't be there and they're all stuck doing it. And I think that's funny. I don't think David Hyde Pierce was in foreign territory there if I had to guess. I caught this. I didn't write it down, but I caught it in my second watch through. I've never. You did a second watch through? Yeah. That's new. You didn't used to do that. So what happens in the second watch through is apparently I noticed the background. So I've never seen that the one door has a picture of Gil on it, which means he's probably a radio DJ because that's the same thing Frasier's got going on. And in four years, you'll find out what a show is. I know. And I'm guessing it's just about like, I hope it's like a real like Andrew Tate, like how to be an alpha male man. Amazing. You will find out within the next 10 seasons. Can't wait. I want to see like Flamboyant Gil delivering a screed about feminism. Like, I just think that would be hilarious. That's like almost. Well, it's kind of like the early 2000s version of what we've got out of him so far. Right. He's just like, I'm such a man. And then does some crazy shit. But like, it's him trying to prove he's a man. Absolutely. Roz and Eddie are airing the best of Crane. Noel gets a thoughtful gift from Frasier and calls to try to stop him from reading the blessing, which is in Klingon. Why did Roz have Eddie at the radio station? I forgive that completely. I think she was asked to wash the dog while they're all away. I think that makes sense. No, you do. You know what? Do you know why that doesn't make sense? Also, Curtis, you can fuck off with the game. I did notice the stupid dog. He also mentioned the dog. Yeah. Doesn't matter. I don't think it was the game this time. Pick the game. I know Curtis. He was still thrown in. Don't even bother. The thing, the reason this doesn't make sense is like- Now for the game, it's called Eddie. Why wasn't Roz? She would be in Niles' death bedside here in a minute. Why is she going to the bar mitzvah? I did one of the same thing. So she could do the radio thing. The best of- She can hit play on the best of Crane, yeah. Yes. She can have a dog hit play. She's not hitting play. It's one thing. They could have easily wrote that she just couldn't make it. She had something else going on. I think you could do that. The way she acts surprised that she gets the invite makes no sense. Because she does the same bit that Kenny does and the random guy in the hall does. Where she's just like, oh, it was really thoughtful of- What's his face? Ready. Ready. Ready. Who the entire episode has been about, yes. Yeah, but like, is it? He's not in it that much. She's like, oh, it's so thoughtful of Freddy to give me an invite. It's like, no, it isn't. You're like, you're like basically in the family. It is weird because you're right. In two episodes from now, she's living at the hospital with them. But she could have flown to Boston for his son's bar mitzvah. Funeral. I almost said funeral. The funeral of his childhood. Yeah. It's clear that she's a member of the Crane family. But I'm not sure how much she sees Freddy or Lilith. So maybe she just doesn't like them. This is a bar mitzvah question for you then, Brad. Sure, sure. Your parents don't weigh in on who's getting the invite to the bar mitzvah. It's all you. You get to do all of the inviting. Not even close. Yeah. That is not how it works at all. So I mean, I can say it now. Usually how it works is your parents will write out a whole list of people and you can pick like a certain amount of friends to invite. Like I could invite X amount of friends, but my parents took care of the whole list. I mean, I had a hundred. Yeah, because you're a 13 year old. I mean, yeah, I had 140 people in my bar mitzvah. Do you think I could tell you everyone that was there? No. Yeah. So I thought that actually, even the starting bit where they do that, it's like, this is a little weird. It's really weird when it's like, oh, Freddy chose me to be at the bar mitzvah. I think I did. I think I did with like some adult, maybe it was like a teacher of the list. And my parents just looked at me and said, no, not like, no, no way. Right. Of course they would. Yeah. Yeah. I also thought it was fun when Lilith was just like, are you sure you want to invite this kid? He's a nerd. It's not like it costs me like a head per plate or whatever. I don't know how bar mitzvahs work, but I assume it's very wedding-like. It does. Yeah. It's very wedding-like. It costs you per plate. Well, that can't be that expensive. I would assume, like a wedding, it must be very cheap, right? Um, my bar mitzvah, which was 21 years ago, was over $15,000. Jesus. Whoa. That's crazy. Yeah. And that would have been 2003. Two. 2002. Oh, right. The year of Brad's bar mitzvah. The year of Brad's bar mitzvah. Fox and the Hound comment was a weird one from Noel. Is that a, do you think he was hitting on her or was making- No, you just called her a fox. Yeah, but like then acting, like then implying that she would kiss Eddie. I don't remember that bit. I guess I didn't watch it twice. That's the movie. The movie, that's the spaghetti scene where the fox and the hound- No, that's Lady and the Tramp. Yeah. Oh, you're right. Those are different movies. What was the fox and the hound about? I could tell you it was his favorite movie. No, no, it wasn't my favorite movie when I was real little. It's a surprisingly dark movie, actually. It's about a fox and a hound who become best friends and then they grow up and then the hound has to hunt the fox. What? Yeah. He's like, he's like, he's like the bloodhound or whatever. He's the hunting dog for some guy who hunting foxes. What? Yeah, it's dark. It's dark. I don't think I, I don't think I've seen this movie. And it's a Disney movie, but spoiler alert, it does not exactly have a happy ending. How many spaghetti scenes are in that one? Four, but they're, none of them are kissing. Right. You really got to get your, your edible movies together. You're getting the most confused. Well, I would love to be watching movies. My daughter is not interested in movies yet. Oh, really? Oh, really? We're just crushing Bluey episodes right now. Crushing them. So anyway, he's implying that she's going to get killed by Eddie, which probably is true. That dog's a plight. A plague. I think like, like Star Trek, the writers of Frasier have never seen the fox and the hound. They just. Apparently neither have I. Apparently we all need to watch fox and the hound and then Lady and Tramp and figure out how those movies are different. Because apparently they are. Both Disney movies though. Right. Both Disney movies. Both Disney movies. Yeah. I thought that they were going to do the dirty word thing. So I liked the way that they, that Roz calls out, what'd you kind of expect? And instead he goes, no, I actually translated the real speech, but just didn't cling on. So I actually thought that was a good move. Yeah. We get a first title card. Star Mitzvah. Freddie Gaylord Crane is embarrassed when Lilith describes him dancing naked at the Boston Pops as a toddler. Frasier doubles down on teenage embarrassment by following through on his speech in the original Klingon. Frasier's inability to work a phone present yet again. I'm sorry, but is this one you wanted to talk first? You know, it's fine. That comment, that comment totally works. It's okay. Way to steal my thunder. I'm going to feel it further. At least in this case, he legitimately can't answer the phone. Yeah. But why isn't it on silent? Oh, I see what you're saying. Good point. So let's go back to Gaylord. Okay. Oh yeah. Horrible name. We're about to hear him read some Hebrew. So I was thinking as a group, we would do the blessing before the Torah. You guys want to join me in this? Because Ryan was supposed to meet me beforehand and did not. I mean, you texted me. I didn't agree. So, okay. This is actually a call response prayer a little bit. So I'm going to say the first line. I'll be leading it. Oh. You guys say the second line and I'll end it. So I'm going to say, Barhu et Adonai ha-movrak. Okay. And you're going to respond with Baruch Adonai. Baruch Adonai ha-barach le-olong-bayad. So can you say that? Baruch Adonai. No, I don't think I can. Baruch Adonai. Baruch Adonai. It's Baruch Obama. Adonai. Wait, there's two Baraks? Oh. So we'll just do it all together. I'll do the first part, second part together, and then we'll end it. It's going to be great. I can't see this going bad. Ready? Okay. Baruch Adonai ha-movrak le-olong-bayad. Baruch Adonai ha-movrak le-olong-bayad. Elohim ha-movrak le-olong-bayad. Asher bakar-banu miko ha-mid. Vinat-a-lanu et-orato. Noten ha-to-rah. Now we can go back to the episode. All right. So Gaylord is a funny name, though, isn't it? Uh, I mean. If you're 12, sure. Yeah. Do you think it's not? Once you turn 13 and become a man, you set aside laughing at the name Gaylord. Actually, legit question. Have you met anyone in real life who has a first name? Legit answer. I do not. I am going to giggle at it until hopefully my deathbed. Do you know anyone named Gaylord? First name or last name? No. No. I can only think of the character from Meet the Fockers. Meet the Parents. Yeah. Meet the Parents. Yeah. Meet the Fockers. That's the weird one. I've only seen the sequel. Yeah. I started there. I was very confused. Pretty sure Meet the Fockers is the only movie I've ever walked out of. I was with you, Curt. We saw it at the Linda. It was terrible. We might have walked out. I don't know if we suffered at all. Was there too much Gaylord talk? Or not enough? There's a scene involving a foreskin and it's just so utterly gross that I was grossed out. Wrong way to passage. Brad, you're sewing your element to that. Lola, it's so embarrassing. Brad, were you embarrassed like that on yours? Did your mom just describe your bedroom? Is that part of a tradition to embarrass you? So, yes, that's actually one of the multiple things you can be embarrassed. But how it usually works for the service part is you give a speech and then your parents come up and say a few words. Why? What a horrible structure for any of them. Wait, wait, wait. So what I can get at is at that part, and I've gone to many, many bar babitzvahs in my day, it's usually just the parents going up there and saying, like, thank you. We're so proud of you. There's another part where your parents can embarrass you. But usually not in the synagogue with the rabbi there. That's not usually a common place that your parents would embarrass the kids. When would they? When's the common place? When should they have done it? At the party. At the best man speech. Yeah, yeah, exactly. At the party in the evening when, like, everyone's celebrating you, like, when it's more festive, that's when you usually get embarrassed by your parents or by a friend or something. So this is where the rabbi says dinner in 20, which what the hell are we doing in those 20 minutes? With a bunch of 13-year-olds. That's also very weird. Most people do not have the party at the place that they write 10, 20 minutes after their service. It was a multi-purpose room, Brad. That's fine. It was a multi-purpose room. You're not going to not use it. Most people have, like, a quick reception after their service and then the party's in the evening. Oh. You guys both reacted, but that was not interesting at all. No. Here's what I found odd is that when he said it'll be in the multi-purpose room, Laugh Track chuckled. And I was like, is that funny? Yeah, Laugh Track stepped in when they shouldn't have. I agree. I was like, I don't understand that joke. I assume that, like you said, Brad, usually there's more like a wedding vibe reception. Yeah, yeah. And that Freddy, instead of having, like, a big fancy bar mitzvah, is just getting snacks in the multi-purpose room. Like, that was my best guess at what the joke could be. That they were making fun of how lame the party was? Yeah, you might be right. You might be right. We should talk about the crux of, like, the embarrassment of Frasier in this episode, right? I guess, I think it's the pinnacle of the episode. Honestly, it's kind of weird pacing. I forget, when she realizes it's a mistake, doesn't he run off again like he did in the earlier scene? Yes. He ran off in embarrassment like a two-year-old. That part's funny. It's not that embarrassing, though, right? Like, it wouldn't be embarrassing if he was Jewish and should know Hebrew. A hundred percent. Well, here's the thing. It's also, and I can say this, and you guys will agree, Hebrew's not, like, a fun language to learn. No. So, like, I'm not impressed, or it's not, like, fun for me when I'm not a Jewish person who's Hebrew. Or, like, why would you spend your time doing that? Right. I don't think there is a fun language to learn. Well, if you did Klingon instead, like, if someone did Klingon, I assume you would have found it hilarious. I would have found that so funny. And, like, me being a church. It would have been run out of the room embarrassment. Well, okay. No. But here's the thing, because I wanted to ask you about this, Brad, because the only person in that entire place, other than maybe Freddie, who, you know, would naturally be embarrassed by anything his dad does. I would think the one person who might be truly kind of offended and put off by the whole thing would be the rabbi. But he's actually super chill about it and kind of recovers the thing pretty gracefully. And I wondered, are all rabbis that chill? Most rabbis, and I'm not comparing rabbis to other religions, other religious leaders. Sounds like you're about to do that. Most rabbis, like, they really just don't care. Like, especially a bar mitzvah, because bar mitzvahs are such hard work for the rabbis. Trying to teach a 13-year-old Hebrew and stuff, they just want it to be over. Have you guys thought about skipping that part, just not teaching them? It's a Jewish rite of passage, okay? That's my favorite phrase. It's like, Brian, you were Catholic. It's like when you got commissioned and you had to learn Latin. Yeah, exactly. Oh, actually, so what we would do, so this is the Catholic tradition, is you would just go to an event and they'd be like, you're now a man. I'm like, is this the Jewish thing? They're like, no. So I taught to learn Hebrew? They're like, no. I'm like, great. All right. This is the last time I'll see you guys. I had to go to Hebrew school for seven years every Sunday. It takes seven years. Well, I guess, yeah, I started in kindergarten or first grade. No, I started in kindergarten. I started in kindergarten. You started at 13. He did his bar mitzvah at 20. Yeah, you guys were there. Oh, my God. If we got to go to your bar mitzvah at 20, that'd be amazing. I did go to an adult bar mitzvah. I don't know if we have time to talk about adult bar mitzvahs. I think we can make time. So an adult bar mitzvah is exactly what you would think. It's a person who converts to Judaism and then waits 13 years and has a bar mitzvah. Oh, that's so funny. Are you serious? First of all, I did not know that. That's not what I guessed. That's so funny. And I've been to one. So you could be like 48 and just became a man. You know what's funny? I'm 48. Let me do the math. The guy might have been 48. It might have actually been. That's so great. I love that if you convert to Judaism, they're like, you still got to wait to 13 years. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. It's actually worse than that. You actually don't have to wait 13 years. You really could do whatever. But a lot of people like this guy that I went to, he's like, well, I'm waiting 13 years because I'm like, there's some people that believe that. You just hardcore described religion, man. Yeah. You don't have to do any of it, but you could. Yeah. And so an Adopt Bar Mitzvah is not like, it wasn't fun. It was kind of like a little sad. I assume that's what the 13-year-old Bar Mitzvahs are like. I don't. If you're a little kid, you're 13, you're learning this super hard thing. You're getting up in front of a bunch of people, doing a performance. Like that is like going to a kid's play or a kid's recital. Like it is, I can see why that would be something to take pride in and to celebrate. And as a rite of passage, a grown man doing it does seem sad. As a Catholic non-theater major, I also think the 13-year-old thing sounds horrible. Well, here's, this is what's fun about a Bar Bar Mitzvah is you literally spend time with all your friends pretty much unsupervised because the adults are partying themselves. So the kids are essentially having a separate party on the side and it's all kids. Like for me, I like going to Bar Bar Mitzvahs a lot because I would see friends from other schools that I didn't get to see that often. So like it was fun at first. You don't have friends from other schools now. What are you talking about? Well, I'm friends from other schools. Why would he have friends from other schools now? No, I'm saying like you're still, you're still hanging out with like the two friends from your high school. What are you talking about? Well, first off, I was in middle school and one of them did not go to my middle school. Oh, really? I didn't know that. I just assume you guys all grew up in like a four house radius. No. So we all went to the same elementary school, but all my group of friends went to three different middle schools. It made no sense. And then we all went to the same high school. I did a lot of things as a kid. I had school. That doesn't sound right. I was also weirdly. I had school. No, I was really big into sports, even though I wasn't good at them. And I went to Jewish sleepover camp. So I had a lot of friends in there too. What the hell is Jewish sleepover camp? Camp Harry. What do you think it is? Yeah. It's my whole job. I honestly don't know. It's literally my whole job. And then. Oh, you mean summer camp or do you mean the school year? No, summer camp. Why do you call it sleepover camp? That's not a thing. Yes, it is. What do you mean? I don't know. I think you're insane here. I never. I never. I never. I just listened to Brad talk about how you went to school as if that's riveting. And somehow I'm mad at you. I've never been to camp. I've never. Is that what you guys called it? You go to sleepover camp? When you sleep over a place, that's usually what you call it. What's non-sleepover camp? Who does that? It's like a day camp. That's what I run. I run for the day. Who does that? Kids do. Kids do. This is what I do. This is my job. My kids have gone to a day camp. Like not like it's just like a week of like. Well, how come you have it sent to my camp? Well, because you live in fucking Baltimore. Yeah, that's true. So we're not Jewish. You don't have to be Jewish to go to my camp. Well, then never mind. I'll send them next week. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, but Brad will hit them with the seven blessings when they get there. So I don't know. I may pass on it. Can I please answer your original question? I think. I don't think you need to. Okay. Fair enough. Back to the episode. Should Freddy know Hebrew outside of his speech? Like he was like horrified from his dad. He was like, oh, this is non-Hebrew. Like as he's saying. I think you can probably tell that they're completely wildly different, even if you don't know all the vocabulary or whatever. You think? Correct. Brad, when you learned your speech, you didn't learn Hebrew, right? You just learned how to say your speech in Hebrew, right? Do you speak, let's say, French? No. Okay. If you did not know anything about this episode, I just played you this scene of Chelsea Grammer giving that speech in Klingon. If I told you he's speaking French, would you be like, yeah, that sounds right? Or would you be like, that doesn't sound like French? I would be like, that doesn't sound like French. Because I took three years of French, Curt, you idiot. I think you're missing Curtis's points. Did Curtis talk? Having heard the message Frazier intended to convey, Freddy forgives him. Marty flashes the family. Love Frazier's line of... I've been trying to console myself with the idea that without embarrassing parents, there'd be no psychology. I think he said psychology. Psychology justifies the name of the show. And I thought it was weird that he said psychology, because I was like, the whole thing is that you're a psychiatrist. Unlike everyone on this show, he doesn't make a big deal out of it, because he knows that he's talking about the mind. And probably true. Seems right. I did like the rabbi saying... You must be very proud of your son, not yourselves. You know, that was good. That's also a cool rabbi. If you threw in, like, a rabbi saying that to Frazier once an episode, it would fit and is fun. I would love that to be this show's, like, running joke. That would fit most episodes. Frazier plays us out to a series of photos Marty has taken. Yep. I noticed that the first, like, three or four photos are the photos that we know we saw Marty take. And then the rest, a series of photos where he's annoying the family, and they're like, like, Frazier's coming at him to take the camera away. He was so excited about this camera. He took shockingly a few photos. I think, yeah, I think they started on a path for this that could have been a funny joke. Instead, it was just kind of run of the mill. They did too many of the from the episode. Yeah. Well, we see when he takes a photo of Lilith and the rabbi says, you know, no more photography, please. Right. And apparently that means that while Freddy, his grandson that he's there to see and celebrate, is giving his speech, he did not think it worth taking a photo. He waited till Lilith was up there, his favorite person. Which he made the comment earlier about how, like, he took a photo with that camera and it was just, like, eyes and blood vessels. It would have been funny if they did that for them. I think he was just, I think he just wanted to recreate, he just was eager to take a photo of Lilith. I think that's what this has all been about. I mean, that fits his creep-ass character. They could have thrown in, like, some bananas photo that had nothing to do with the actual episode. It could have been super funny.

Context outside the activity. Preserved conversation context only. Text: I don't think it was the game this time. Reviewed full source context: Roz and Eddie are airing the best of Crane. Noel gets a thoughtful gift from Frasier and calls to try to stop him from reading the blessing, which is in Klingon. Why did Roz have Eddie at the radio station? I forgive that completely. I think she was asked to wash the dog while they're all away. I think that makes sense. No, you do. You know what? Do you know why that doesn't make sense? Also, Curtis, you can fuck off with the game. I did notice the stupid dog. He also mentioned the dog. Yeah. Doesn't matter. I don't think it was the game this time. Pick the game. I know Curtis. He was still thrown in. Don't even bother. The thing, the reason this doesn't make sense is like- Now for the game, it's called Eddie.

Activity request: So I was thinking as a group, we would do the blessing before the Torah. Method: I'll do the first part, second part together, and then we'll end it. Competition adjudication competition established: False Reviewed full source context: We're about to hear him read some Hebrew. So I was thinking as a group, we would do the blessing before the Torah. You guys want to join me in this? Because Ryan was supposed to meet me beforehand and did not. I mean, you texted me. I didn't agree. So, okay. This is actually a call response prayer a little bit. So I'm going to say the first line. I'll be leading it. Oh. You guys say the second line and I'll end it. So I'm going to say, Barhu et Adonai ha-movrak. Okay. And you're going to respond with Baruch Adonai. Baruch Adonai ha-barach le-olong-bayad. So can you say that? Baruch Adonai. No, I don't think I can. Baruch Adonai. Baruch Adonai. It's Baruch Obama. Adonai. Wait, there's two Baraks? Oh. So we'll just do it all together. I'll do the first part, second part together, and then we'll end it. It's going to be great. I can't see this going bad. Ready? Okay. Baruch Adonai ha-movrak le-olong-bayad. Baruch Adonai ha-movrak le-olong-bayad. Elohim ha-movrak le-olong-bayad. Asher bakar-banu miko ha-mid. Vinat-a-lanu et-orato. Noten ha-to-rah. Now we can go back to the episode. All right.

Activity request: Well, Kenny, as I guess I want to hear from you first, what did you think of this episode? Competition adjudication competition established: False Reviewed full source context: Well, Kenny, as I guess I want to hear from you first, what did you think of this episode? Okay. I didn't, like, love it. You said you loved it when you were a child. No, I remember thinking it was quite funny, the Star Trek bit where he had to read it and all that. As I watch it now, I'm like, it's fine. I haven't watched it in many years, but I was like, it doesn't feel like an episode that's got it all. I don't know. It didn't feel cohesive. Did you give it the Star Trek bump? Is that what happened? Yeah, I got the Star Trek bump when I was a kid. That was it. Honestly, I think that the concept is better than the execution. Like, the idea that a man goes in front of a group thinking he's speaking a language he doesn't understand and finding out it's actually a made-up Star Trek language, I think that's a funny idea. But once you know what the joke is, it's not actually that funny to watch it happen. As a kid, you might think that's, like, devastating, right? Because you know a lot going on. So you're just like, oh, my God, he said a speech in a different thing. Oh, no, yeah. How is he ever going to recover? Like, he's going to have to go to school the next day and deal with his peers. But, like, it doesn't really. For us adults, it's like, whatever. Yeah. Like, I would say, like, in general, like, I laughed a couple times, but it wasn't, like, an episode that blew me away or anything. Out of 10 baculas, how many baculas would you give it? I'll give it five baculas. Okay, Brad, what did you think? Obviously, I'm going to give this episode a Jewish bump. I like that there wasn't really, like, an A-plot and a B-plot. The B-plot was essentially just an extension of the A-plot. There was an A-plot. I don't think there was a B and a C-plot. Those were tough to differentiate. It was all subplots of it. Like, I guess the camera was technically the C-plot. You get everyone in all three or four plots. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you can give a D-plot if you count Willis and stuff, but. Exactly. So, although I liked the episode, it, again, it wasn't one of my favorite. It wasn't one of my least favorite. It's going to get the Jewish bump. I'm going to give it a B-plus. B-plus with a Jew bump. All right. Yeah. For me, this is probably a 21 out of 42. So, kind of right halfway. Kind of like Kenny said, five out of ten baculas. This is also, for me, right in the middle. So, this is sandwiched between some assembly required, Habitat for Humanity, Frasier episode. Oh, love that one. I thought this was slightly better than that one. But I did not think it was good as Frasier Light, the weight loss. Before Ryan goes, I do remember us giving you a hard time for not liking the Habitat for Humanity one as much as the two of us. So, I think that was part of our surprise. That's just because Jared thinks the couches should look like cows. Yeah. He thinks you spell it with a W. I should have mentioned, I'm ranking this 21 out of 42. That's with a Star Trek bump. Wow. Okay. Interesting. Ryan, you are coming in from the upside down. This is a big upside down episode. What did you think? Yeah. I mean, so, I'm just going to rate the episode because the reveals were a little wild, right? From an upside down standpoint, it was great. From a show standpoint, it was humdrum, top to bottom. Like, we did a real run of the mill bit with, like, Freddy trying to get extra money for his bar mitzvah. They built the scenes in a way that I like to watch where they pull a bunch of stuff from each scene to build to that final scene. But the final scene was stupid. Like, it didn't matter. None of us cared that he spoke Klingon. Like, who gives a shit? And I thought that was kind of the running theme of the whole way. Like, all of this is humdrum. I'm with you. What's your rating? It's low. I'm going to give it bottom. One of my worst ratings. It's not the worst episode. I would definitely downgrade some of the episodes in the past, but I'm going to give this, like, a 4.9. Oh, wow. There was no big payoff, and none of the jokes were super funny, top to bottom. Too much Noel, for sure. He's not a worthwhile character. No. No one was firing this episode. If I was going to give an MVP, it would be Marty, which is a terrible look. And even that plotline, like you said, humdrum. Yeah. The payoff was nothing, either. Oh, cool. There's photos for the scrambled egg scene. Great. So excited to be here. In the production of the meeting. So what are the... Okay. We've got a great idea for the ending. What are the pictures we're going to need? Well, let's just use whatever they take. We'll have a real camera. We'll just have to take photos. Listen, I think the plotline should be better, right? I think I can see on paper how this plotline works, and it just... The execution was middle of the road. Yeah. I mean, that says it all.

Title: Brad's Big Bar Mitzvah Bash Activity request: Today, I'm going to help my three young fellows here plan their perfect bar mitzvah. Segment type: guided imagined event planning Rules: what Torah portion they would pick as a 13-year-old boy. Competition adjudication competition established: False Ending or payoff: Thank you guys for playing the Build the Best Bar Bitzvah. Reviewed full source context: Now, Brad is going to introduce a new segment. Welcome to Brad's Big Bar Mitzvah Bash. Today, I'm going to help my three young fellows here plan their perfect bar mitzvah. Okay? Are we young fellows? Is that how people refer to pre-mitzvah humans? Well, that's how I'm referring to you. Three as... Don't love it. I gotta say it. Don't love it. Well, there's lots of things I've done over the years you haven't loved. So, just to remind the audience, the bar bat mitzvah is bar for boy, bat for girl, is when you stand in front of your synagogue, and you become a Jewish man, and it's usually... Or a Jewish woman. I was about to pass on that. Thank you. You'll just edit out that pause, but it really focuses... Yeah, real pregnant pause for the 13-year-old girls out there. On two parts. On a show with four dudes. Yeah. The first part is when you're doing a Torah portion, that's more of the serious part. And then the fun part is in the evening where you usually have a party at a different venue, and it's themed and all that kind of stuff. We'll get to the party in a second, but part of being a bar mitzvah boy or a bar mitzvah girl is reading a Torah portion, and you get assigned any Torah portion you can think of. But because I'm such a generous guy, I'm actually going to let my three comrades here choose what Torah portion they would pick as a 13-year-old boy. So Ryan, if you can go first, what part of the Old Testament of the Torah would you want your section to be? You're referring to it as the Old Testament, so I can understand what the fuck you're talking about. First five books. First five books. I don't know if that's true or not. I didn't get that far. So obviously I would read about the old flood. The old flood of rule. Noah's Ark. Okay. Talk about how to wipe all your asses out of here. That's an interesting one. Curtis, how about you? Yeah, I would go with Leviticus 3, 12. Okay. And that is the story of... Oh, were we supposed to quote our source material? No, you really don't need to. It's the story of Kong, who seeks vengeance. Kong! Kong! Okay. You haven't read Leviticus. It's all logistics on how to navigate if you have, like, diseases. Kenny, how about you? I feel ambushed in that I did not know this bit was coming, and I don't remember anything from the Bible because I don't really know what I'm doing. Oh, I'm sorry. You don't remember that there was a beginning? You don't remember? I will do the beginning. You don't remember that there was a plague whenever they were in Egypt for some reason? Not really, man. You don't remember that someone split a sea? It was red. You got none of that? I mean, I've seen the Ten Commandments. That's one of them? You could have done that one. I'll do that one then. We'll do the Ten Commandments, Bradley. Underrated movie. Anyway, usually what you get is a terrible Torah portion that's very boring. So, for instance, my Torah portion was right after we survived Noah's Ark. So, it's just people talking about how much... I don't even... I genuinely don't... I read up to, like, Leviticus. I don't remember what happens right after Noah's Ark. It's like a paragraph. No, my section was just about people saying mean things about other people. That was my whole Torah portion. It was not fun. Wasn't the whole point of Noah's Ark that all the bad, awful people were killed off and only the good people were left? But you're saying immediately afterward, they were just getting gossipy? Correct. A lot of bad people showed up really quick. Yeah. And then it was all about... There's actually a Jewish phrase called Lashan Hara, where you're not supposed to say bad things about people. It's not something I follow. You should try. You should try that. Talking to you, because you never say mean things about people. I don't have to follow it. You should. You should follow it. Great. So, now let's talk about the fun part of Bar Bar Mitzvot. People have them at night. So, the first thing we're going to do... You should say... You don't do the bar-ba every time. You should say Mitzvot. So, B'nai Mitzvot. Sorry. I know other Mitzvot. Sorry. Well, B'nai Mitzvot is what you call a Maltable. Yeah, Banana Mitzvot. What do you mean B'nai? What's B'nai mean? Maltable. And you have it at a venue in your area. So, this is going to be fun, because I don't know your areas that well. But I want you to think of a cool venue. It could be a hotel. It could be an entertainment venue. A place that you were growing up that, as a 13-year-old, you would have loved to have a party at. Ryan, if you can go first this time, pick a place in Pittsburgh. Dave & Buster's. Okay. I went to a bar-ba. It's about Dave & Buster's once, actually. Was it a top tier? Because I can't imagine anything else being better as a 13-year-old. The food was not great, but I remember... You just described Dave & Buster's? Yeah, yeah. ...getting a free game. We had unlimited games the whole night. Oh, shit. We wouldn't have... Yeah. We had, like, a $20 card. Yeah. Well, I think it was just, like, a package, because they rented out the whole... That sounds awesome, actually. I'm in. Yeah. Curtis, how about you? A place in Akron? Yeah. I would, at the local synagogue's multipurpose room. Okay. So, you know what, though? 20 minutes after service. He was trying to make a joke, but that sums up Curtis. Plain, easy, simple, statistical. I don't... I do not... I do not for a second think Curtis is making a joke. Yeah. Not a lot of movement. Okay. How about you, Kenny? I mean, if I'm 13, I'm thinking, you know, Discovery Zone is, I guess, what I'm thinking. Oh, hell yeah. I mean, you're definitely too old for Discovery Zone. I think so. That's true. It's still exciting to hear that. I'm trying to think of fun things that I did when I was a kid. I was like, well, I can't think of anything beyond Discovery Zone. I feel like a 13-year-old's party at Discovery Zone is, like, a 38-year-old's happy apartment stuff. Yeah, right? You're probably right. I definitely had a birthday party at Discovery Zone. I was, like, five when we had a Discovery Zone birthday. It was awesome. I think they all closed down before I was 13, so I don't know. Yeah, that's true. It's fine. You're saying that if it was available, you would have been having a 13-year-old party at Discovery Zone. He would have his 38-year-old party at there. Yeah. I'd be going there right now if it was still open without my kids. Yeah, I would say, your kid is like, can we come? No, this is a me party. This is daddy's time. This is for dad. Yeah. So my bar mitzvah was not an exciting place. It was a venue called Martin's Westminster. Lots of people had their bar mitzvahs there. But some of the more fun places I had- I was saying, no, we're not going to brush past that. Why did you go to Martin's Bar Mitzvah? Westminster. Westminster. Whatever. Whatever. It's a really nice venue. Is it a dog show? Is it a dog competition place? No, it's just a place at Westminster, which is, like, the town over. What the- okay. Oh, my God. I went to some fun ones at the stadiums, Raven Stadium and Oriole Stadium. Those were pretty good. Why was that fun as a 13-year-old? Genuine question. Because it was cool going to the stadium and, like, having it on the- Is it? I don't know. I went to one at the Science Center. I went to one. There was a set of triplets. That was pretty cool. And they had theirs at this castle. Doesn't really sound like a venue-related place. It was at this castle. It was really cool. It was a really cool castle. Yes, the old Baltimore castle. Greenspring castle. But still, it was real cool, and it was really nice. America's not castles. What are you talking about? America does have castles. Was it like the magic castle? What do you mean? No, it was not magical at all. Okay, the next part about your bar mitzvah is everybody has a theme. You usually theme it. All of your- Okay, this is a segment that's going to be so long. I'm horrified. We're going to spin it up. So, Ryan, well, actually, I'll start with what the theme of my bar mitzvah was. I loved Ocean City and the beach, so my theme was the beach, and each table was a different hotel. That's how I themed my bar mitzvah. And then there was beach things all around. What? And I came out- Why did you say two separate things? Why did you use because incorrectly? Oh, and I came out on a surfboard. So, Ryan, what would the theme of your bar mitzvah be? What? I'm so confused as to what themes are after talking to you. What would the theme of your bar mitzvah be, Ryan? 13-year-old Ryan wasn't into anything, which is a tough look. Should I say what I wish I would have done as a 13-year-old or what I would have done? Both. Okay. I would have done snowboarding, which is stupid. I should have done pro wrestling. Okay. I went to a pro wrestling one, and I went to many ravens ones and food ones. Curtis, how about you? What would your theme be? Turkey sandwiches. Oh, that's- Okay. So, Heiken's theme was food, and he had turkey sandwiches and lots of other food. He didn't food. Why did he do turkey sandwiches? That was one of the things as his meal. I don't know. That's not a food. Kenny, how about you? What would your theme of your bar mitzvah be? Oh, I have no idea. What was I into when I was 13? Probably, like, the Beatles. I would say, yours would be, like, guitars or something. Yeah, guitars, probably. I would say, Beatles makes you, like, probably a loser then, but it's a cool answer. Now, at least now. What do you think a Beatles- What's a Beatles' bar mitzvah like? A lot of old people dancing. Yeah, a Beatles. What food would you have at your bar mitzvah? And would it be the same for adults and kids, or would you have two different menus? What is this question? I assume I'm going first. Yeah. How long is this segment? Is this me as a 13-year-old? Yeah. Because I'm choosing pizza, I assume. Okay. But, like, I want to rewrite in pasta. I would have a whole hog. Okay. A roasted hog. Curtis? Ham sandwiches. Okay. Whoa. Whoa. Actually, that's a big deal for you. Good for you, buddy. Kenny? Yeah, pizza, probably. If I'm 13, I'm going to want pizza. It's going to be pizza, right? There's no answer that isn't pizza. I had pizza and chicken tenders for the kids, and the adults could choose between chicken and steak. This is an interesting point, because you're talking about having a kid's menu and an adult's menu. Now, I presume that some of your friends who came were already 13 and already were Burmett food were technically Jewish adults, and some had not yet. Oh, that's funny. Were there, like, some 12-year-olds who were stuck on the kid's menu while all your 13-year-old friends were eating that sweet, sweet adult food? No, because anybody, including adults, would rather go to the kid's area, because that was buffet, and the rest was sit-down service. So they'd come and come to you. So everyone wanted to go to the buffet because you'd get fed quicker. Who hates sit-down service? That's fine. I don't know. A lot of people back then didn't like sit-down service. Regular adults can handle getting served. Ah, not when you have alcohol on you. All right. So I do love a buffet. I'm the wrong person to do defending sit-down service. I know. I do want to hear this. What was the coolest one you went to? Because it had to all be pizza, right? There's no reason you're choosing anything else. No, I went to one. I went to definitely one or two that had, like, fancy burger bars. That was kind of cool as a kid. And sushi. I don't know. I went to a bar. Sushi. Sushi. Yeah, as a 13-year-old, I loved sushi even back then. And there was one that had a lot of sushi. That was pretty cool. That is cool. Like, burger bars sound... I don't... It's hard to picture. Like, a burger bar doesn't sound that fun. And I always liked breakfast food, and I went to one that had breakfast food as a kid, so that was kind of fun. That sounds like someone really cheaping out. Honestly, that sounds like something Ryan would do. Love breakfast food. Sounds like we're cheaping out there. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. That's... I don't disagree. And then one last question. Well, actually, two last questions. Oh, God. Do they have eggs benedict? Because that would bring me back in. We can have eggs benedict, sure. Oh, shut up. Is what... You know what? Actually, we'll just... We'll do the last question. That's fine. No, no, no. We're doing the whole thing. We're already here. We're doing the whole thing. So what... So a lot of times at Bar and Bar Mitzvahs, they would have fun things for the kids to do, especially if you didn't have a lot of friends. Like my friend Greg, who will be on the podcast one day, he did not have a lot of friends there, so he wanted to show up. So he had a person doing drawings of people. What are they called? What is that called? Dericatures. Thank you. Dericatures. They had a caricature artist making caricatures of people. And they had... Do you remember... Do you remember in the early 2000s? I see why you didn't have a lot of friends. That's definitely not a thing you bring in to have more friends. The thing I know how to show off. I got a caricature artist. Let me exaggerate your features, everyone coming to my party. Do you guys remember in the early 2000s when the wax hand thing was a big deal and people used to have wax hands and make them out of wax? That was awesome. No, I didn't. I made this out. I think you have a weird fetish and I don't understand it. That was also a great bar mitzvah. So what fun, cool additions with 13-year-old versions of yourself would end your part? I would obviously do the waxed hand situation. I'm not going to pass on that. Great. Also wax hands for me. Yeah, wax hands. Wax hands. Whatever the hell you're talking about, wax hands. If I was 13, I would legitimately have a paintball session if I could. I don't know. I don't really understand bar mitzvahs as the way you've described them. So I'm pretty sure I would just be shooting people at this party, but it would be awesome. I had a laser tag one bar mitzvah, but not necessarily a paintball one. Hell yeah. I forgot laser tag existed. I feel like I should go back and do some of that. And Kenny, how about you? Wax hands. Wax hands. Okay, great. It's the only thing I can think of now. I mean, it's wax hands. It's wax hands all the way down. I totally forgot about how there was the big wax hand craze of the early 2000s. I also, I had, I gave away water bottles and I had a candy bar. This is disturbing. I fucking have pictures of wax hands right now. And mostly they're just stupid, but there's one where they, I'm almost certain we're trying to make it look like a Pikachu, but it is disturbing to make a hand vaguely look Pikachu like. And last but not least, a big part of our bar mitzvah is the introductions. So there's a thing that people do called the candle lighting ceremony, where you honor people in your family and you bring them up and you have a song for each one. So we're going to do. For each one? Well, for each group of people up to 13, you have like 13 group of people. Why do I only have three? I could have done 13. No, we're going to do three. We're going to do one for your parents, one for your siblings and one for your friends. And I'll tell you the songs. Before I go, is it normal to group them this way or is this how you choose to speed things along? No, that is common for the three. Sometimes people will do their siblings individually, but I had you guys do your siblings together. But for me, I'll do my songs real quick. My parents, I did Teacher Chosen Well. I mean, I didn't pick any of this. Fuck is that song? By Crosby Stills, Nash & Young. I did He Ate Heavy, He's My Brother for my brother. What is that song? Did you do a sample? He Ate Heavy, He's My Brother by the Moody Blues. And then last but not least, for friends, I did You've Got a Friend and Me from Toy Story. Oh, that's the worst answer. That was so boring. Correct. Correct. Ryan, since you're the only one that I prepped because I know you don't know music, I prepped you for this. You can go first. Oh, gladly. So my parents, I don't exactly know what song I would do, but I would do a Beethoven song, probably. Something real aggressive. Something like really feisty, you know, where it's kind of like Imperial Death March, but not so evil. Okay. You kind of got the vibe I'm going for. Maybe like Symphony Six or whatever, because I don't know them. It makes them feel official. Got it? Yeah. Official, but not evil is what I'm going for. Like they will whoop your ass if you're like out of line. And they kind of like march as they walk up to the synagogue podium. I don't really know the equipment. Close enough. Yeah. You know, something in that vibe, right? Okay. Good job. Thank you. How about for your siblings? All right. So when my siblings walk up, we'll be coming up to, this is a real song. I don't know if you guys know this. It's called Do the Kid and Play Kick Step. And it's an instructional song on how to do the stupid kid and play dance. And it sounds like Brad wrote this song. Can I read you a couple of lyrics from it? Please do. One day, me and play was wondering what type of dope moves could keep the crowd hype. Thought about it long and hard until it became clear. Yo kid, I got an idea. Just follow me as Herb drops the beat. Start moving your feet in a way most unique. Turn and face each other. No need to crawl, son. Start kicking just like the Charleston. The move gets real tough when you kick your feet together and continue to take a big step, maybe a quick step. Now you're doing the Kid and Play Kick Step. Thank you for that, Ryan. I would also make my siblings do the dance while they were. I have a quick question. Are any of us going to get to go to bed tonight? We're almost done. Almost done. I don't have songs. I don't know. I don't want to do this part. Fine, fine, fine, fine. We wrap this up. We're not even done yet. Let Ryan finish. Let Ryan finish. You guys don't have to go, but Ryan has to go. Friends, please? They would all come out to the Stone Cold theme song. Thank you. Thank you guys for playing the Build the Best Bar Bitzvah. Okay. All right. That's all the fanfare we've got for the end. That's it.

Prompt: So Ryan, if you can go first, what part of the Old Testament of the Torah would you want your section to be? Answer qualification: First five books. Reviewed full source context: We'll get to the party in a second, but part of being a bar mitzvah boy or a bar mitzvah girl is reading a Torah portion, and you get assigned any Torah portion you can think of. But because I'm such a generous guy, I'm actually going to let my three comrades here choose what Torah portion they would pick as a 13-year-old boy. So Ryan, if you can go first, what part of the Old Testament of the Torah would you want your section to be? You're referring to it as the Old Testament, so I can understand what the fuck you're talking about. First five books. First five books. I don't know if that's true or not. I didn't get that far. So obviously I would read about the old flood. The old flood of rule. Noah's Ark. Okay. Talk about how to wipe all your asses out of here. That's an interesting one. Curtis, how about you? Yeah, I would go with Leviticus 3, 12. Okay. And that is the story of... Oh, were we supposed to quote our source material? No, you really don't need to. It's the story of Kong, who seeks vengeance. Kong! Kong! Okay. You haven't read Leviticus. It's all logistics on how to navigate if you have, like, diseases. Kenny, how about you? I feel ambushed in that I did not know this bit was coming, and I don't remember anything from the Bible because I don't really know what I'm doing. Oh, I'm sorry. You don't remember that there was a beginning? You don't remember? I will do the beginning. You don't remember that there was a plague whenever they were in Egypt for some reason? Not really, man. You don't remember that someone split a sea? It was red. You got none of that? I mean, I've seen the Ten Commandments. That's one of them? You could have done that one. I'll do that one then. We'll do the Ten Commandments, Bradley. Underrated movie. Anyway, usually what you get is a terrible Torah portion that's very boring. So, for instance, my Torah portion was right after we survived Noah's Ark. So, it's just people talking about how much... I don't even... I genuinely don't... I read up to, like, Leviticus. I don't remember what happens right after Noah's Ark. It's like a paragraph. No, my section was just about people saying mean things about other people. That was my whole Torah portion. It was not fun. Wasn't the whole point of Noah's Ark that all the bad, awful people were killed off and only the good people were left? But you're saying immediately afterward, they were just getting gossipy? Correct. A lot of bad people showed up really quick. Yeah. And then it was all about... There's actually a Jewish phrase called Lashan Hara, where you're not supposed to say bad things about people. It's not something I follow. You should try. You should try that. Talking to you, because you never say mean things about people. I don't have to follow it. You should. You should follow it. Great. So, now let's talk about the fun part of Bar Bar Mitzvot.

Prompt: A place that you were growing up that, as a 13-year-old, you would have loved to have a party at. Reviewed full source context: People have them at night. So, the first thing we're going to do... You should say... You don't do the bar-ba every time. You should say Mitzvot. So, B'nai Mitzvot. Sorry. I know other Mitzvot. Sorry. Well, B'nai Mitzvot is what you call a Maltable. Yeah, Banana Mitzvot. What do you mean B'nai? What's B'nai mean? Maltable. And you have it at a venue in your area. So, this is going to be fun, because I don't know your areas that well. But I want you to think of a cool venue. It could be a hotel. It could be an entertainment venue. A place that you were growing up that, as a 13-year-old, you would have loved to have a party at. Ryan, if you can go first this time, pick a place in Pittsburgh. Dave & Buster's. Okay. I went to a bar-ba. It's about Dave & Buster's once, actually. Was it a top tier? Because I can't imagine anything else being better as a 13-year-old. The food was not great, but I remember... You just described Dave & Buster's? Yeah, yeah. ...getting a free game. We had unlimited games the whole night. Oh, shit. We wouldn't have... Yeah. We had, like, a $20 card. Yeah. Well, I think it was just, like, a package, because they rented out the whole... That sounds awesome, actually. I'm in. Yeah. Curtis, how about you? A place in Akron? Yeah. I would, at the local synagogue's multipurpose room. Okay. So, you know what, though? 20 minutes after service. He was trying to make a joke, but that sums up Curtis. Plain, easy, simple, statistical. I don't... I do not... I do not for a second think Curtis is making a joke. Yeah. Not a lot of movement. Okay. How about you, Kenny? I mean, if I'm 13, I'm thinking, you know, Discovery Zone is, I guess, what I'm thinking. Oh, hell yeah. I mean, you're definitely too old for Discovery Zone. I think so. That's true. It's still exciting to hear that. I'm trying to think of fun things that I did when I was a kid. I was like, well, I can't think of anything beyond Discovery Zone. I feel like a 13-year-old's party at Discovery Zone is, like, a 38-year-old's happy apartment stuff. Yeah, right? You're probably right. I definitely had a birthday party at Discovery Zone. I was, like, five when we had a Discovery Zone birthday. It was awesome. I think they all closed down before I was 13, so I don't know. Yeah, that's true. It's fine. You're saying that if it was available, you would have been having a 13-year-old party at Discovery Zone. He would have his 38-year-old party at there. Yeah. I'd be going there right now if it was still open without my kids. Yeah, I would say, your kid is like, can we come? No, this is a me party. This is daddy's time. This is for dad. Yeah. So my bar mitzvah was not an exciting place. It was a venue called Martin's Westminster. Lots of people had their bar mitzvahs there. But some of the more fun places I had- I was saying, no, we're not going to brush past that. Why did you go to Martin's Bar Mitzvah? Westminster. Westminster. Whatever. Whatever. It's a really nice venue. Is it a dog show? Is it a dog competition place? No, it's just a place at Westminster, which is, like, the town over. What the- okay. Oh, my God. I went to some fun ones at the stadiums, Raven Stadium and Oriole Stadium. Those were pretty good. Why was that fun as a 13-year-old? Genuine question. Because it was cool going to the stadium and, like, having it on the- Is it? I don't know. I went to one at the Science Center. I went to one. There was a set of triplets. That was pretty cool. And they had theirs at this castle. Doesn't really sound like a venue-related place. It was at this castle. It was really cool. It was a really cool castle. Yes, the old Baltimore castle. Greenspring castle. But still, it was real cool, and it was really nice. America's not castles. What are you talking about? America does have castles. Was it like the magic castle? What do you mean? No, it was not magical at all.

Prompt: What would your theme of your bar mitzvah be? Reviewed full source context: Okay, the next part about your bar mitzvah is everybody has a theme. You usually theme it. All of your- Okay, this is a segment that's going to be so long. I'm horrified. We're going to spin it up. So, Ryan, well, actually, I'll start with what the theme of my bar mitzvah was. I loved Ocean City and the beach, so my theme was the beach, and each table was a different hotel. That's how I themed my bar mitzvah. And then there was beach things all around. What? And I came out- Why did you say two separate things? Why did you use because incorrectly? Oh, and I came out on a surfboard. So, Ryan, what would the theme of your bar mitzvah be? What? I'm so confused as to what themes are after talking to you. What would the theme of your bar mitzvah be, Ryan? 13-year-old Ryan wasn't into anything, which is a tough look. Should I say what I wish I would have done as a 13-year-old or what I would have done? Both. Okay. I would have done snowboarding, which is stupid. I should have done pro wrestling. Okay. I went to a pro wrestling one, and I went to many ravens ones and food ones. Curtis, how about you? What would your theme be? Turkey sandwiches. Oh, that's- Okay. So, Heiken's theme was food, and he had turkey sandwiches and lots of other food. He didn't food. Why did he do turkey sandwiches? That was one of the things as his meal. I don't know. That's not a food. Kenny, how about you? What would your theme of your bar mitzvah be? Oh, I have no idea. What was I into when I was 13? Probably, like, the Beatles. I would say, yours would be, like, guitars or something. Yeah, guitars, probably. I would say, Beatles makes you, like, probably a loser then, but it's a cool answer. Now, at least now. What do you think a Beatles- What's a Beatles' bar mitzvah like? A lot of old people dancing. Yeah, a Beatles.

Prompt: What food would you have at your bar mitzvah? Rules: Is this me as a 13-year-old? Reviewed full source context: What food would you have at your bar mitzvah? And would it be the same for adults and kids, or would you have two different menus? What is this question? I assume I'm going first. Yeah. How long is this segment? Is this me as a 13-year-old? Yeah. Because I'm choosing pizza, I assume. Okay. But, like, I want to rewrite in pasta. I would have a whole hog. Okay. A roasted hog. Curtis? Ham sandwiches. Okay. Whoa. Whoa. Actually, that's a big deal for you. Good for you, buddy. Kenny? Yeah, pizza, probably. If I'm 13, I'm going to want pizza. It's going to be pizza, right? There's no answer that isn't pizza. I had pizza and chicken tenders for the kids, and the adults could choose between chicken and steak. This is an interesting point, because you're talking about having a kid's menu and an adult's menu. Now, I presume that some of your friends who came were already 13 and already were Burmett food were technically Jewish adults, and some had not yet. Oh, that's funny. Were there, like, some 12-year-olds who were stuck on the kid's menu while all your 13-year-old friends were eating that sweet, sweet adult food? No, because anybody, including adults, would rather go to the kid's area, because that was buffet, and the rest was sit-down service. So they'd come and come to you. So everyone wanted to go to the buffet because you'd get fed quicker. Who hates sit-down service? That's fine. I don't know. A lot of people back then didn't like sit-down service. Regular adults can handle getting served. Ah, not when you have alcohol on you. All right. So I do love a buffet. I'm the wrong person to do defending sit-down service. I know. I do want to hear this. What was the coolest one you went to? Because it had to all be pizza, right? There's no reason you're choosing anything else. No, I went to one. I went to definitely one or two that had, like, fancy burger bars. That was kind of cool as a kid. And sushi. I don't know. I went to a bar. Sushi. Sushi. Yeah, as a 13-year-old, I loved sushi even back then. And there was one that had a lot of sushi. That was pretty cool. That is cool. Like, burger bars sound... I don't... It's hard to picture. Like, a burger bar doesn't sound that fun. And I always liked breakfast food, and I went to one that had breakfast food as a kid, so that was kind of fun. That sounds like someone really cheaping out. Honestly, that sounds like something Ryan would do. Love breakfast food. Sounds like we're cheaping out there. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. That's... I don't disagree.

Prompt: So what fun, cool additions with 13-year-old versions of yourself would end your part? Reviewed full source context: And then one last question. Well, actually, two last questions. Oh, God. Do they have eggs benedict? Because that would bring me back in. We can have eggs benedict, sure. Oh, shut up. Is what... You know what? Actually, we'll just... We'll do the last question. That's fine. No, no, no. We're doing the whole thing. We're already here. We're doing the whole thing. So what... So a lot of times at Bar and Bar Mitzvahs, they would have fun things for the kids to do, especially if you didn't have a lot of friends. Like my friend Greg, who will be on the podcast one day, he did not have a lot of friends there, so he wanted to show up. So he had a person doing drawings of people. What are they called? What is that called? Dericatures. Thank you. Dericatures. They had a caricature artist making caricatures of people. And they had... Do you remember... Do you remember in the early 2000s? I see why you didn't have a lot of friends. That's definitely not a thing you bring in to have more friends. The thing I know how to show off. I got a caricature artist. Let me exaggerate your features, everyone coming to my party. Do you guys remember in the early 2000s when the wax hand thing was a big deal and people used to have wax hands and make them out of wax? That was awesome. No, I didn't. I made this out. I think you have a weird fetish and I don't understand it. That was also a great bar mitzvah. So what fun, cool additions with 13-year-old versions of yourself would end your part? I would obviously do the waxed hand situation. I'm not going to pass on that. Great. Also wax hands for me. Yeah, wax hands. Wax hands. Whatever the hell you're talking about, wax hands. If I was 13, I would legitimately have a paintball session if I could. I don't know. I don't really understand bar mitzvahs as the way you've described them. So I'm pretty sure I would just be shooting people at this party, but it would be awesome. I had a laser tag one bar mitzvah, but not necessarily a paintball one. Hell yeah. I forgot laser tag existed. I feel like I should go back and do some of that. And Kenny, how about you? Wax hands. Wax hands. Okay, great. It's the only thing I can think of now. I mean, it's wax hands. It's wax hands all the way down. I totally forgot about how there was the big wax hand craze of the early 2000s. I also, I had, I gave away water bottles and I had a candy bar. This is disturbing. I fucking have pictures of wax hands right now. And mostly they're just stupid, but there's one where they, I'm almost certain we're trying to make it look like a Pikachu, but it is disturbing to make a hand vaguely look Pikachu like.

Prompt: We're going to do one for your parents, one for your siblings and one for your friends. Rules: Sometimes people will do their siblings individually, but I had you guys do your siblings together. Result qualification: You guys don't have to go, but Ryan has to go. Reviewed full source context: And last but not least, a big part of our bar mitzvah is the introductions. So there's a thing that people do called the candle lighting ceremony, where you honor people in your family and you bring them up and you have a song for each one. So we're going to do. For each one? Well, for each group of people up to 13, you have like 13 group of people. Why do I only have three? I could have done 13. No, we're going to do three. We're going to do one for your parents, one for your siblings and one for your friends. And I'll tell you the songs. Before I go, is it normal to group them this way or is this how you choose to speed things along? No, that is common for the three. Sometimes people will do their siblings individually, but I had you guys do your siblings together. But for me, I'll do my songs real quick. My parents, I did Teacher Chosen Well. I mean, I didn't pick any of this. Fuck is that song? By Crosby Stills, Nash & Young. I did He Ate Heavy, He's My Brother for my brother. What is that song? Did you do a sample? He Ate Heavy, He's My Brother by the Moody Blues. And then last but not least, for friends, I did You've Got a Friend and Me from Toy Story. Oh, that's the worst answer. That was so boring. Correct. Correct. Ryan, since you're the only one that I prepped because I know you don't know music, I prepped you for this. You can go first. Oh, gladly. So my parents, I don't exactly know what song I would do, but I would do a Beethoven song, probably. Something real aggressive. Something like really feisty, you know, where it's kind of like Imperial Death March, but not so evil. Okay. You kind of got the vibe I'm going for. Maybe like Symphony Six or whatever, because I don't know them. It makes them feel official. Got it? Yeah. Official, but not evil is what I'm going for. Like they will whoop your ass if you're like out of line. And they kind of like march as they walk up to the synagogue podium. I don't really know the equipment. Close enough. Yeah. You know, something in that vibe, right? Okay. Good job. Thank you. How about for your siblings? All right. So when my siblings walk up, we'll be coming up to, this is a real song. I don't know if you guys know this. It's called Do the Kid and Play Kick Step. And it's an instructional song on how to do the stupid kid and play dance. And it sounds like Brad wrote this song. Can I read you a couple of lyrics from it? Please do. One day, me and play was wondering what type of dope moves could keep the crowd hype. Thought about it long and hard until it became clear. Yo kid, I got an idea. Just follow me as Herb drops the beat. Start moving your feet in a way most unique. Turn and face each other. No need to crawl, son. Start kicking just like the Charleston. The move gets real tough when you kick your feet together and continue to take a big step, maybe a quick step. Now you're doing the Kid and Play Kick Step. Thank you for that, Ryan. I would also make my siblings do the dance while they were. I have a quick question. Are any of us going to get to go to bed tonight? We're almost done. Almost done. I don't have songs. I don't know. I don't want to do this part. Fine, fine, fine, fine. We wrap this up. We're not even done yet. Let Ryan finish. Let Ryan finish. You guys don't have to go, but Ryan has to go. Friends, please? They would all come out to the Stone Cold theme song. Thank you.

Choice: So my parents, I don't exactly know what song I would do, but I would do a Beethoven song, Answer qualification: Maybe like Symphony Six or whatever, because I don't know them. Official, but not evil is what I'm going for. Adjudication: Good job. Reviewed full source context: Ryan, since you're the only one that I prepped because I know you don't know music, I prepped you for this. You can go first. Oh, gladly. So my parents, I don't exactly know what song I would do, but I would do a Beethoven song, probably. Something real aggressive. Something like really feisty, you know, where it's kind of like Imperial Death March, but not so evil. Okay. You kind of got the vibe I'm going for. Maybe like Symphony Six or whatever, because I don't know them. It makes them feel official. Got it? Yeah. Official, but not evil is what I'm going for. Like they will whoop your ass if you're like out of line. And they kind of like march as they walk up to the synagogue podium. I don't really know the equipment. Close enough. Yeah. You know, something in that vibe, right? Okay. Good job. Thank you.

Choice: It's called Do the Kid and Play Kick Step. Action: One day, me and play was wondering what type of dope moves could keep the crowd hype. Thought about it long and hard until it became clear. Yo kid, I got an idea. Just follow me as Herb drops the beat. Start moving your feet in a way most unique. Turn and face each other. No need to crawl, son. Start kicking just like the Charleston. The move gets real tough when you kick your feet together and continue to take a big step, maybe a quick step. Now you're doing the Kid and Play Kick Step. Answer qualification: I would also make my siblings do the dance while they were. Reviewed full source context: How about for your siblings? All right. So when my siblings walk up, we'll be coming up to, this is a real song. I don't know if you guys know this. It's called Do the Kid and Play Kick Step. And it's an instructional song on how to do the stupid kid and play dance. And it sounds like Brad wrote this song. Can I read you a couple of lyrics from it? Please do. One day, me and play was wondering what type of dope moves could keep the crowd hype. Thought about it long and hard until it became clear. Yo kid, I got an idea. Just follow me as Herb drops the beat. Start moving your feet in a way most unique. Turn and face each other. No need to crawl, son. Start kicking just like the Charleston. The move gets real tough when you kick your feet together and continue to take a big step, maybe a quick step. Now you're doing the Kid and Play Kick Step. Thank you for that, Ryan. I would also make my siblings do the dance while they were.

Segment context: examples recollections clarifications and banter within the planning task Response context: No, my section was just about people saying mean things about other people. It was a venue called Martin's Westminster. I loved Ocean City and the beach, so my theme was the beach, and each table was a different hotel. I had pizza and chicken tenders for the kids, and the adults could choose between chicken and steak. My parents, I did Teacher Chosen Well. I did He Ate Heavy, He's My Brother for my brother. And then last but not least, for friends, I did You've Got a Friend and Me from Toy Story. Reviewed full source context: We'll get to the party in a second, but part of being a bar mitzvah boy or a bar mitzvah girl is reading a Torah portion, and you get assigned any Torah portion you can think of. But because I'm such a generous guy, I'm actually going to let my three comrades here choose what Torah portion they would pick as a 13-year-old boy. So Ryan, if you can go first, what part of the Old Testament of the Torah would you want your section to be? You're referring to it as the Old Testament, so I can understand what the fuck you're talking about. First five books. First five books. I don't know if that's true or not. I didn't get that far. So obviously I would read about the old flood. The old flood of rule. Noah's Ark. Okay. Talk about how to wipe all your asses out of here. That's an interesting one. Curtis, how about you? Yeah, I would go with Leviticus 3, 12. Okay. And that is the story of... Oh, were we supposed to quote our source material? No, you really don't need to. It's the story of Kong, who seeks vengeance. Kong! Kong! Okay. You haven't read Leviticus. It's all logistics on how to navigate if you have, like, diseases. Kenny, how about you? I feel ambushed in that I did not know this bit was coming, and I don't remember anything from the Bible because I don't really know what I'm doing. Oh, I'm sorry. You don't remember that there was a beginning? You don't remember? I will do the beginning. You don't remember that there was a plague whenever they were in Egypt for some reason? Not really, man. You don't remember that someone split a sea? It was red. You got none of that? I mean, I've seen the Ten Commandments. That's one of them? You could have done that one. I'll do that one then. We'll do the Ten Commandments, Bradley. Underrated movie. Anyway, usually what you get is a terrible Torah portion that's very boring. So, for instance, my Torah portion was right after we survived Noah's Ark. So, it's just people talking about how much... I don't even... I genuinely don't... I read up to, like, Leviticus. I don't remember what happens right after Noah's Ark. It's like a paragraph. No, my section was just about people saying mean things about other people. That was my whole Torah portion. It was not fun. Wasn't the whole point of Noah's Ark that all the bad, awful people were killed off and only the good people were left? But you're saying immediately afterward, they were just getting gossipy? Correct. A lot of bad people showed up really quick. Yeah. And then it was all about... There's actually a Jewish phrase called Lashan Hara, where you're not supposed to say bad things about people. It's not something I follow. You should try. You should try that. Talking to you, because you never say mean things about people. I don't have to follow it. You should. You should follow it. Great. So, now let's talk about the fun part of Bar Bar Mitzvot. People have them at night. So, the first thing we're going to do... You should say... You don't do the bar-ba every time. You should say Mitzvot. So, B'nai Mitzvot. Sorry. I know other Mitzvot. Sorry. Well, B'nai Mitzvot is what you call a Maltable. Yeah, Banana Mitzvot. What do you mean B'nai? What's B'nai mean? Maltable. And you have it at a venue in your area. So, this is going to be fun, because I don't know your areas that well. But I want you to think of a cool venue. It could be a hotel. It could be an entertainment venue. A place that you were growing up that, as a 13-year-old, you would have loved to have a party at. Ryan, if you can go first this time, pick a place in Pittsburgh. Dave & Buster's. Okay. I went to a bar-ba. It's about Dave & Buster's once, actually. Was it a top tier? Because I can't imagine anything else being better as a 13-year-old. The food was not great, but I remember... You just described Dave & Buster's? Yeah, yeah. ...getting a free game. We had unlimited games the whole night. Oh, shit. We wouldn't have... Yeah. We had, like, a $20 card. Yeah. Well, I think it was just, like, a package, because they rented out the whole... That sounds awesome, actually. I'm in. Yeah. Curtis, how about you? A place in Akron? Yeah. I would, at the local synagogue's multipurpose room. Okay. So, you know what, though? 20 minutes after service. He was trying to make a joke, but that sums up Curtis. Plain, easy, simple, statistical. I don't... I do not... I do not for a second think Curtis is making a joke. Yeah. Not a lot of movement. Okay. How about you, Kenny? I mean, if I'm 13, I'm thinking, you know, Discovery Zone is, I guess, what I'm thinking. Oh, hell yeah. I mean, you're definitely too old for Discovery Zone. I think so. That's true. It's still exciting to hear that. I'm trying to think of fun things that I did when I was a kid. I was like, well, I can't think of anything beyond Discovery Zone. I feel like a 13-year-old's party at Discovery Zone is, like, a 38-year-old's happy apartment stuff. Yeah, right? You're probably right. I definitely had a birthday party at Discovery Zone. I was, like, five when we had a Discovery Zone birthday. It was awesome. I think they all closed down before I was 13, so I don't know. Yeah, that's true. It's fine. You're saying that if it was available, you would have been having a 13-year-old party at Discovery Zone. He would have his 38-year-old party at there. Yeah. I'd be going there right now if it was still open without my kids. Yeah, I would say, your kid is like, can we come? No, this is a me party. This is daddy's time. This is for dad. Yeah. So my bar mitzvah was not an exciting place. It was a venue called Martin's Westminster. Lots of people had their bar mitzvahs there. But some of the more fun places I had- I was saying, no, we're not going to brush past that. Why did you go to Martin's Bar Mitzvah? Westminster. Westminster. Whatever. Whatever. It's a really nice venue. Is it a dog show? Is it a dog competition place? No, it's just a place at Westminster, which is, like, the town over. What the- okay. Oh, my God. I went to some fun ones at the stadiums, Raven Stadium and Oriole Stadium. Those were pretty good. Why was that fun as a 13-year-old? Genuine question. Because it was cool going to the stadium and, like, having it on the- Is it? I don't know. I went to one at the Science Center. I went to one. There was a set of triplets. That was pretty cool. And they had theirs at this castle. Doesn't really sound like a venue-related place. It was at this castle. It was really cool. It was a really cool castle. Yes, the old Baltimore castle. Greenspring castle. But still, it was real cool, and it was really nice. America's not castles. What are you talking about? America does have castles. Was it like the magic castle? What do you mean? No, it was not magical at all. Okay, the next part about your bar mitzvah is everybody has a theme. You usually theme it. All of your- Okay, this is a segment that's going to be so long. I'm horrified. We're going to spin it up. So, Ryan, well, actually, I'll start with what the theme of my bar mitzvah was. I loved Ocean City and the beach, so my theme was the beach, and each table was a different hotel. That's how I themed my bar mitzvah. And then there was beach things all around. What? And I came out- Why did you say two separate things? Why did you use because incorrectly? Oh, and I came out on a surfboard. So, Ryan, what would the theme of your bar mitzvah be? What? I'm so confused as to what themes are after talking to you. What would the theme of your bar mitzvah be, Ryan? 13-year-old Ryan wasn't into anything, which is a tough look. Should I say what I wish I would have done as a 13-year-old or what I would have done? Both. Okay. I would have done snowboarding, which is stupid. I should have done pro wrestling. Okay. I went to a pro wrestling one, and I went to many ravens ones and food ones. Curtis, how about you? What would your theme be? Turkey sandwiches. Oh, that's- Okay. So, Heiken's theme was food, and he had turkey sandwiches and lots of other food. He didn't food. Why did he do turkey sandwiches? That was one of the things as his meal. I don't know. That's not a food. Kenny, how about you? What would your theme of your bar mitzvah be? Oh, I have no idea. What was I into when I was 13? Probably, like, the Beatles. I would say, yours would be, like, guitars or something. Yeah, guitars, probably. I would say, Beatles makes you, like, probably a loser then, but it's a cool answer. Now, at least now. What do you think a Beatles- What's a Beatles' bar mitzvah like? A lot of old people dancing. Yeah, a Beatles. What food would you have at your bar mitzvah? And would it be the same for adults and kids, or would you have two different menus? What is this question? I assume I'm going first. Yeah. How long is this segment? Is this me as a 13-year-old? Yeah. Because I'm choosing pizza, I assume. Okay. But, like, I want to rewrite in pasta. I would have a whole hog. Okay. A roasted hog. Curtis? Ham sandwiches. Okay. Whoa. Whoa. Actually, that's a big deal for you. Good for you, buddy. Kenny? Yeah, pizza, probably. If I'm 13, I'm going to want pizza. It's going to be pizza, right? There's no answer that isn't pizza. I had pizza and chicken tenders for the kids, and the adults could choose between chicken and steak. This is an interesting point, because you're talking about having a kid's menu and an adult's menu. Now, I presume that some of your friends who came were already 13 and already were Burmett food were technically Jewish adults, and some had not yet. Oh, that's funny. Were there, like, some 12-year-olds who were stuck on the kid's menu while all your 13-year-old friends were eating that sweet, sweet adult food? No, because anybody, including adults, would rather go to the kid's area, because that was buffet, and the rest was sit-down service. So they'd come and come to you. So everyone wanted to go to the buffet because you'd get fed quicker. Who hates sit-down service? That's fine. I don't know. A lot of people back then didn't like sit-down service. Regular adults can handle getting served. Ah, not when you have alcohol on you. All right. So I do love a buffet. I'm the wrong person to do defending sit-down service. I know. I do want to hear this. What was the coolest one you went to? Because it had to all be pizza, right? There's no reason you're choosing anything else. No, I went to one. I went to definitely one or two that had, like, fancy burger bars. That was kind of cool as a kid. And sushi. I don't know. I went to a bar. Sushi. Sushi. Yeah, as a 13-year-old, I loved sushi even back then. And there was one that had a lot of sushi. That was pretty cool. That is cool. Like, burger bars sound... I don't... It's hard to picture. Like, a burger bar doesn't sound that fun. And I always liked breakfast food, and I went to one that had breakfast food as a kid, so that was kind of fun. That sounds like someone really cheaping out. Honestly, that sounds like something Ryan would do. Love breakfast food. Sounds like we're cheaping out there. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. That's... I don't disagree. And then one last question. Well, actually, two last questions. Oh, God. Do they have eggs benedict? Because that would bring me back in. We can have eggs benedict, sure. Oh, shut up. Is what... You know what? Actually, we'll just... We'll do the last question. That's fine. No, no, no. We're doing the whole thing. We're already here. We're doing the whole thing. So what... So a lot of times at Bar and Bar Mitzvahs, they would have fun things for the kids to do, especially if you didn't have a lot of friends. Like my friend Greg, who will be on the podcast one day, he did not have a lot of friends there, so he wanted to show up. So he had a person doing drawings of people. What are they called? What is that called? Dericatures. Thank you. Dericatures. They had a caricature artist making caricatures of people. And they had... Do you remember... Do you remember in the early 2000s? I see why you didn't have a lot of friends. That's definitely not a thing you bring in to have more friends. The thing I know how to show off. I got a caricature artist. Let me exaggerate your features, everyone coming to my party. Do you guys remember in the early 2000s when the wax hand thing was a big deal and people used to have wax hands and make them out of wax? That was awesome. No, I didn't. I made this out. I think you have a weird fetish and I don't understand it. That was also a great bar mitzvah. So what fun, cool additions with 13-year-old versions of yourself would end your part? I would obviously do the waxed hand situation. I'm not going to pass on that. Great. Also wax hands for me. Yeah, wax hands. Wax hands. Whatever the hell you're talking about, wax hands. If I was 13, I would legitimately have a paintball session if I could. I don't know. I don't really understand bar mitzvahs as the way you've described them. So I'm pretty sure I would just be shooting people at this party, but it would be awesome. I had a laser tag one bar mitzvah, but not necessarily a paintball one. Hell yeah. I forgot laser tag existed. I feel like I should go back and do some of that. And Kenny, how about you? Wax hands. Wax hands. Okay, great. It's the only thing I can think of now. I mean, it's wax hands. It's wax hands all the way down. I totally forgot about how there was the big wax hand craze of the early 2000s. I also, I had, I gave away water bottles and I had a candy bar. This is disturbing. I fucking have pictures of wax hands right now. And mostly they're just stupid, but there's one where they, I'm almost certain we're trying to make it look like a Pikachu, but it is disturbing to make a hand vaguely look Pikachu like. And last but not least, a big part of our bar mitzvah is the introductions. So there's a thing that people do called the candle lighting ceremony, where you honor people in your family and you bring them up and you have a song for each one. So we're going to do. For each one? Well, for each group of people up to 13, you have like 13 group of people. Why do I only have three? I could have done 13. No, we're going to do three. We're going to do one for your parents, one for your siblings and one for your friends. And I'll tell you the songs. Before I go, is it normal to group them this way or is this how you choose to speed things along? No, that is common for the three. Sometimes people will do their siblings individually, but I had you guys do your siblings together. But for me, I'll do my songs real quick. My parents, I did Teacher Chosen Well. I mean, I didn't pick any of this. Fuck is that song? By Crosby Stills, Nash & Young. I did He Ate Heavy, He's My Brother for my brother. What is that song? Did you do a sample? He Ate Heavy, He's My Brother by the Moody Blues. And then last but not least, for friends, I did You've Got a Friend and Me from Toy Story. Oh, that's the worst answer. That was so boring. Correct. Correct. Ryan, since you're the only one that I prepped because I know you don't know music, I prepped you for this. You can go first. Oh, gladly. So my parents, I don't exactly know what song I would do, but I would do a Beethoven song, probably. Something real aggressive. Something like really feisty, you know, where it's kind of like Imperial Death March, but not so evil. Okay. You kind of got the vibe I'm going for. Maybe like Symphony Six or whatever, because I don't know them. It makes them feel official. Got it? Yeah. Official, but not evil is what I'm going for. Like they will whoop your ass if you're like out of line. And they kind of like march as they walk up to the synagogue podium. I don't really know the equipment. Close enough. Yeah. You know, something in that vibe, right? Okay. Good job. Thank you. How about for your siblings? All right. So when my siblings walk up, we'll be coming up to, this is a real song. I don't know if you guys know this. It's called Do the Kid and Play Kick Step. And it's an instructional song on how to do the stupid kid and play dance. And it sounds like Brad wrote this song. Can I read you a couple of lyrics from it? Please do. One day, me and play was wondering what type of dope moves could keep the crowd hype. Thought about it long and hard until it became clear. Yo kid, I got an idea. Just follow me as Herb drops the beat. Start moving your feet in a way most unique. Turn and face each other. No need to crawl, son. Start kicking just like the Charleston. The move gets real tough when you kick your feet together and continue to take a big step, maybe a quick step. Now you're doing the Kid and Play Kick Step. Thank you for that, Ryan. I would also make my siblings do the dance while they were. I have a quick question. Are any of us going to get to go to bed tonight? We're almost done. Almost done. I don't have songs. I don't know. I don't want to do this part. Fine, fine, fine, fine. We wrap this up. We're not even done yet. Let Ryan finish. Let Ryan finish. You guys don't have to go, but Ryan has to go. Friends, please? They would all come out to the Stone Cold theme song. Thank you. answer: Teach your children well Parents song title: Teach your children well answer: He ain’t heavy he’s my brother Brother song title: He ain’t heavy he’s my brother answer: Moody blues Brother song artist: Moody blues Bedtime questioner: Kenny

Activity request: Ryan, why don't you tell us what to expect next week when we cover the previous episode, Prompt item: Tales from the Crypt. Response context: Maybe Niles is a ghost, Curt. I don't know. Competition adjudication competition established: False Reviewed full source context: Ryan, why don't you tell us what to expect next week when we cover the previous episode, Season Dead, Episode 5, Tales from the Crypt. Tales from the Crypt. Peace, peace, your help. Marty sits about to scaring our returning guest, Freddy. But instead, it scares his big old baby of a son. What? You think we're getting two Freddy episodes in a row? I think we're getting two Freddy episodes in a row, Curt. That's aggressive and unlikely. You really don't know this show. No, but like it may be. I don't know. I don't know what's happening. Yeah, and maybe Niles is a ghost, but I don't think it's a ghost. Maybe Niles is a ghost, Curt. I don't know.

Context outside the activity. Segment type: reported off mic incident and banter Reviewed full source context: Can I just say, it happened all silently here, but my daughter just creeped up behind me and scared the shit out of me. Oh, too bad that didn't make it to the show. Did she trick the camera? A very, very old Russian camera? I just looked back and there was a small child standing right behind me and I was like, oh my God. She silently hugged me and ran back up to our room. And I was like, oh my God, I was not expecting that to happen. Storyteller: Kenny