Game / activity
Dear Abby Esquire
Curtis introduces the segment as the hosts invent a spinoff premise in which Abby becomes an advice columnist, then answer comic letters. The reader does not answer their own question, and each letter receives a local choice. Four choices are announced—Brad, Ryan, Ryan, Brad—but there is no announced overall winner or numerical score. This is improvised comedy, not legal guidance.
What was recorded
What everyone brought to the table · 2 recorded contributions
RECORDED ANSWER / CHOICE
Abby is never uncertain
Curtis delivers Abby’s confident voiceover about giving advice.
RECORDED ANSWER / CHOICE
How do you say “bury”?
The final selection leads to teasing about pronunciation, with a Barry Manilow pun. The source leaves the precise boundary between game wrap-up and post-game banter unresolved.
The rest of the round record
8 primary recorded exchanges · 0 retained source actions. 4 additional round events; 0 overlapping source alternatives. A source action may be a clue, reply, reaction or interruption—not necessarily a participant answer.
Soulis in Seattle: finding lawsuits
WHAT THEY BROUGHT
Curtis revises the delivery scheme
Curtis first suggests traps for delivery workers, realizes that would expose the letter writer to a lawsuit, and instead invents false complaints about delivered goods. The reversal is part of the joke.
WHAT THEY BROUGHT
Brad targets the neighbors
Brad proposes suing neighbors over trees and cars, arguing that bad neighbor relationships make frivolous litigation easier. The chooser favors this answer.
Additional recorded round evidence (1)
Recorded source action
Letter and local result · A person who stopped going outside wants opportunities for frivolous lawsuits. Ryan reads the letter and chooses the answer, confirmed in the recording. Brad’s neighbor proposal is explicitly selected.
Jeff Jefferson: naked at a children’s show
WHAT THEY BROUGHT
Keep moving so they cannot see you
Ryan advises hopping and flapping without stopping, confirmed in the recording.
WHAT THEY BROUGHT
Wrap yourself in the stage blankets
Curtis suggests using the bed’s blankets and enjoying the softness without worrying about nudity, confirmed in the recording.
Additional recorded round evidence (1)
Recorded source action
Letter and local result · Brad restarts a tangled letter with revised names: his ex-wife performs a children’s show, and he ends up nearly naked onstage while attending with a colleague’s daughter. A rapid “sue” exchange includes Curtis initially misunderstanding who was naked. Brad later praises the movement answer but explicitly says he chooses Ryan. Although the preceding prompt names Curtis, the recording confirms Ryan gives the movement advice and Curtis gives the blanket advice.
The museum misser: no Martin Luther King Day off
WHAT THEY BROUGHT
Brad: quit and go to a museum
Brad suggests quitting the job and visiting a museum, then answers the actual can-I-sue question with no. This is a comic answer, not a legal conclusion.
WHAT THEY BROUGHT
Ryan: sue in the name of America
Ryan responds with an exaggerated call to sue and accuse the employer of racism. Curtis chooses it for its patriotic rhetoric. The performance supplies no reliable legal guidance.
Additional recorded round evidence (1)
Recorded source action
Letter and local result · Curtis asks whether he can sue an employer who does not give him the holiday. The free-museum-day motivation becomes part of the banter. Curtis selects Ryan’s exaggerated patriotic response.
Bonus letter: the mysteries of Cole’s law
WHAT THEY BROUGHT
Brad’s law: eat it or bury it
Brad proposes eating good-looking slaw and burying bad slaw. The others question the proposal and tease the performed persona for becoming Brad.
WHAT THEY BROUGHT
Treat slaw as a hostile force
Curtis advises turning away and ignoring coleslaw so it cannot betray you, confirmed in the recording.
Additional recorded round evidence (1)
Recorded source action
Letter and local result · Ryan turns Murphy’s law, Jude Law and Newton’s laws into a coleslaw joke. Ryan awards Brad the local win, confirmed in the recording.