Fight, Become, Elect

Context and recorded outcome

1. Well, we normally start our wrap-up discussion with character MVP, but we thought it might be a little bit more fun to do a game tonight. If you're familiar with Merry Fuck Kill. Yes. What we're doing, we're going to choose one of the people to fight, one to become, and one to elect as it is in the election year. Oh. So, we'll start out with guest stars. Who…

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   Well, we normally start our wrap-up discussion with character MVP, but we thought it might be a little bit more fun to do a game tonight. If you're familiar with Merry Fuck Kill. Yes. What we're doing, we're going to choose one of the people to fight, one to become, and one to elect as it is in the election year. Oh. So, we'll start out with guest stars. Who would we like to fight the most of the guest stars? The person to fight is Provost Sharma. How wonderful. I feel like that guy, you can't like Honey Buns that much and expect Fisticuffs not to come out. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think this is the obvious choice. I disagree, but okay. It's a good choice. Who's your choice? Who's your choice? Oh, mine was the easiest one I could ever pick. Vince Wolfark. Okay. Why? Because you want to lose the fight? Let's resolve. I want to lose the fight, okay? He played for an okay football team for a couple years. I could easily take him on. His arm weighs more than me. No, it doesn't. I didn't know who you were talking about. I thought you were talking about that guy in classic Frasier Raw's stuff with his dad or whatever. I hope that guy was. Pretty sure Ryan has not seen that or anywhere close to that yet. I don't know who you're talking about. I don't know who this is, but I'm so excited by your excitement. It was the guy with the funny name. Oh, Wally Wiswall. Wally Wiswall. Yeah. Yes, I thought that's who you meant when you said Wolfork. No, Vince Wolfork. Hey, Brad, where to pronounce it? That's exciting. Yeah, I'm very proud of myself. He's in the bowling episode. I'm certain Brad took like 20 minutes before this and just started practicing. That name over and over again. Still got it wrong the first time. It's really second time. That's really good for you. So who are you fighting, Ryan? I had to look up her name. I don't remember how it's pronounced. I know it's just not what it looks like. It's spelled Siobhan. Oh, Siobhan. Siobhan. Siobhan. That's right. Frasier's date from the June episode. You know what? I actually considered her. Yeah, because she showed up so late and I was indignant about it. It was insane. Yeah, that's a good pick. I knew the provost would be off the board, so I made sure that was the other reason I had her. All right. What about who would you like to become from the guest star list? Oh, can I go first? Yes. No, I'm going first. Okay, fine. I want to be Vince Wilfork, obviously. We're on multiple Super Bowls. By the way, I made myself a list of all the prominent guest stars to be aware of for this so I could really pick. Didn't even consider that he would be on the list. Then right, then right, football guy down. Forgot that person existed immediately. Paris, you have to go and I'll just go last to this point. I mean, obviously I want to be Smokey. Are you kidding? Oh, God. No, no, no, no, no. Not my scene. Defend. She's a riot. She's the best. She doesn't have a ton of lines. She's not like prominently showing. I feel like the further she is from this family, the better for her. All you got to do to become her is smoke a lot more and talk a lot less. Which is very doable for me. Yeah, that's in range. Extremely achievable. All right, Brad, I got to know. What's your big reveal? One, that's not who I thought you were going to say, Curtis. And two, I'm scared. Who do you think I was going to say? Andrew Daly. Oh, I could never be him. That is correct. I mean, I would love to, but he's- I like that you go by his formal name. I would clearly, clearly the character that I'm the most like already. And so it wouldn't be that much of a stretch is Moose. You're named after a dessert. You're like a Jewish Moose. Yeah. I don't even know if he counted as a guest star, though. He's like right on the bubble. He's right on the bubble. But I don't consider him a main character. No, I would say, yeah, I would say anybody who is not a- I think it's fine to include recurring in this. Like anybody who's not a main cast character. He's got to be this favorite character, though. Definitely. He's definitely like right on that cusp. Yeah. If they made him a main character during the next season, it wouldn't surprise me. Sure. Yeah. So why did you want to be Moose? Because he's cool. He's charming. He's funny. He doesn't- No one really listens to him, just like me. You just like that he talks to a girl at the end. That he finally talks to a girl who's out of his league? Yes. My dream every day of the week? Yes. I had a- I had a- As an alt, I had June. What was your powder room? I thought she was high up on my list of people. I would love to be able to like talk to one person and just be everything that they want to be and then immediately switch and talk to another person. Same boat. Like that seemed like such a cool skill she had. Yeah, no, she is definitely a top contender for somebody you'd want to be. She's one of those people that is like genuinely interesting. She's fun. But she's also like so sure of herself. Like she's so comfortable in her own skin. I don't know what that's like. Imagine? Could you imagine? I can't. I'm living vicariously through June. I don't know what that is. We all are. We all are. Except Brad, who's living through Moose. I think our audience at this point knows us well enough to know that that is very appropriate. Yes. Well, that said, last but not least, who would you like to elect of the guest stars? Oh, boy. This was a super weird category to add. Why did you add this one? Oh, because I don't read the show notes. Can I go first this time? I couldn't go first. You may. Thank you. For me. Cut in. For me. And I'll explain first why I picked this person before I even say who it is. This is the most Brad way to answer this. Yeah. Correct. I'm a storyteller. I watched this episode of the show in reverse order. So the first episode to me was utterly confusing. There was only one person that really made any sense to me, and it's why I would like to elect her. That's Roz. Roz came and was just classic Roz. She was in four minutes. She did what she needed to do. She's the only person that hasn't really changed. She pretty much looks exactly the same. So I went with Roz. Damn it. That feels good. You wanted to elect her because she's familiar. Yeah. Yes. I want to say that's a stupid reason to elect somebody, but honestly, that's one of the better reasons people pick for why they elect somebody. For elections? Yes. Correct. I mean, funny name. Guys, funny name. Quick point of order. The person I initially picked has been said for another category. Do I have to pick somebody new? I think that's fine. I don't think so, but we'll see if you're an answer. If you're an answer, if you're an answer, if you're an answer, you're stupid, then yeah. You know what? You know what? This person has not been chosen for anything yet, so I am going to say Andy Daly. I'm just going to go for it. Oh, of course. Oh, no. You took mine. Oh, I'm sorry. I think we have the same one. No. I'll pick somebody else. Ryan, you go second. I also have a backup if that helps. I'm supposed to go last. So you go ahead and pick Andrew Daly and tell us why. Well, obviously you want to take Andy Daly. He's an incredible liar, which is the only thing that matters when you're an elected official. That is correct. Oh, my God. That's so true. I didn't even think about that. He is a fantastic liar. A seamless two-face. But he seems like genuine and he seems like- Friendly and approachable. Yeah. He's not like a malicious liar. A politician, baby. All to the earth. Oh, my God. I shouldn't let you have him. That sounds way grosser. I've gone sick. I wish I was taking this for this episode. Right after your wedding, Curt. Calm down. To be clear, I meant it in both contexts. Curt, who was yours? This racism drink really goes to my head. Again, hurt racing. Brad's best work of the podcast. So who am I going to elect? I'm going to elect Tiny. You keep it together, Smokey. Okay. Oh. You mean Verice this beef and I'm still holding on to that. Way to go. Well, that's the point. I don't know that we get a lot of time with Tiny. I don't know that we get a lot of it. Not enough. Like, we don't have a clear sense of who Tiny is in his own right. But he reminds me of Barista Steve. And Barista Steve is a man I want in charge of things. Amen. A fucking man. So, you know, let's go. Amen. Tiny for president. Incredible. I want a tiny president. My alt was the fake Dean. Who's Dean? Oh, you're talking about the waiter. Yes. Waiter. That waiter. Oh, man. Yeah. I think his name was Kevin. I'm in charge of something. Maybe not like president, but he'd make a great, like, I don't know, state house member. He's on the cabinet. Yeah. Secretary of Finance. I don't know. Whatever. It doesn't matter. If you guys want to get high later, just let me know. All right. Let's move on to the main cast. In addition to you all assigning who from the main cast you would like to fight, become, and elect, I'm also going to say which of the three of you I would like to fight, become, and elect. Oh. Okay. Well. This is very exciting. Our answers are going to get real weird on this one because there's only six choices and I feel like we're going to have the same ones for ones and have to change. We'll do it rapid fire and then we'll move on. Rapid fire is great. Yeah. I don't think we need a lot of explanation. All right. Who do you want to fight? Brad. Me too. I went the opposite for my first one. Someone that I can easily beat and that's David. Yeah. David's the answer. It will not be hard to win and he deserved to get punched. so But I mean, I mean, obviously, Anumbrill mentioned a Freddy. Obviously. Yeah. I mean, the only problem with him is he would win if I fought him. I don't know about you, Brad, but I know I can take him. No problem. Yes. I agree with you, Ryan. I can too. No, no. Neither of you could take Freddy. I think both of you could take the British guy who plays Freddy. I don't think neither of you could take Freddy. All right. Well, obviously, I would like to fight Brad for the exact same reason. I know I could take him. False, but good try. Also, just to be clear, you could take me too. Yeah. I really came down to a different category to assign that last one. There you go. All right. Who would you most like to become from the main cast? Again, another character that I'm 10 minutes away from becoming, Alan. I hate to agree with Brad on two in a row. That was going to be my choice because Alan's amazing. But just to be contrary, I'm going to say I want to be Eve because she's another person that kind of does whatever she wants. And now she's got like a rich friend who just floats her. Like, that's the life I want. You guys are both insane. There is only one answer, and it is Frasier. He's rich. He actually seems kind of comfortable with himself. Check his age. Sure. You're going to be rich for like another couple years. You just chose Alan. That was Brad. Oh, okay. I went young. You went Eve, who's very broke. She's a single mom with a baby. Yeah. Out of your mind? Ready. He's a hot, young firefighter. He's not that hot. He's a douche. That's fine. I don't believe he's a good firefighter either. Definitely not. There are no good choices. Not in this show. It's definitely this version of Frasier. 100%. I thought about Olivia, except that you can see her real problems when she's so excited about ice cream and going ice skating. And she was a star. She was a star, and I'm pretty sure if you put all her time together, it equaled less than an episode. Yeah. That doesn't matter. I assume she has a life outside of the episode. That's probably a plus, actually, for her. But now I know who you are going to become. I'm going to tell you who I'm going to become, and then I will roll right into who I will elect, because obviously one will reveal the other. That makes sense. It could be a mix. I don't know. So I'm going to choose to become my own husband, Ryan Sansone. Because who wouldn't want to spend a day in their significant other shoes just feeling it out, so to speak? Well, should we talk about our new podcast, Courtney Becomes Ryan, a report series? No, thank you. I've got to be honest. Obviously, the only right answer. I was genuinely nervous. It was 50-50. Then I'm going to put myself in your right and dangly body? No, thank you. He's just so much limb. I've seen him do his noodle dance, okay? Look, I want you all to show me a little more respect, because I'm pretty sure I'm your president now. Oh, yes. You're our president now. And it is because, as you know, famously, we were once roommates prior to being just people who knew each other. And our roommate agreement, which is not something we had to have. This is a drafted document that you created. Classic Curtis. Classic Curtis. I would say upwards of three-page document to me, unprompted, and said, these are the terms and conditions of us becoming roommates. That was, you saw PTSD on paper. Yeah. And honestly, blessing. I knew exactly what I was getting into. I would move, I would sooner move back in with Curtis than I would stay in this house. He's a phenomenal roommate. But I got news for you, if you want to move back in with me, you're going to need a lawyer to sign a new document. I know, because you're a married man now. It's fine. We both went our separate ways and got husbands. It was a stupid choice. We're both going to regret it someday. But ultimately, yes, I would vote for you for president just because I've seen your work with documents. You can write the shit out of those. President doesn't have to do that. No, but they have to sign them, and he can do that, too. He's a nice signature. Also, let's be honest. I have to read them, and neither of you are going to be doing any of that. Amen. That's true. I would elect Frazier because he seems relatively smart. He's got the self-centeredness of a politician. He's wealthy. He'll pay for his own campaign. It just makes sense. I was going to elect Frazier for every single reason that Ryan said he would become Frazier. I thought those were all good reasons to elect him. This makes sense because we all know that Ryan's great ambition is to become president, so it's all lining up. No, it's my biggest nightmare, Brett Curtis. That it's going to happen. I just know it. It keeps me up at night. Thank you. We are eligible, so Sandstone 2028 or whatever. Everyone calm down. Can we talk about my choice? I was always going to take Alan. He's not eligible. What? They haven't put the age thing in yet. He's British. He's British. He's British. Oh, yeah. Did we say president? Was that established? It did not say president. It just doesn't elect. Yeah, I'm just electing him. Relax. Okay. Whatever. Comptroller Alan. Columbus, Ohio librarian. It doesn't matter what. I'm sorry, wait. Is Columbus electing librarians now? Yeah. Yes. Curt, who cares? We vote. Whatever, man. It's gerrymandered. It doesn't matter, Curt. He's old, which always helps for some reason in this day and age. He seems nice. He seems fun. Fucking monster to his kids. Absolute monster. And it's hidden. And you don't realize it, even when he says it outright. If that's not a politician, I don't know what is. Well, glory to America, I guess. And the Columbus Library. Some shady ships going down in that library system down in Columbus. It's so shady. It's amazing. It's great. It's incredible. Great service. Highly recommend.